Favoured Girl's Blog

Blowing My Trumpet

2011-10-22T00:34:00.004+01:00

I've been tagged (and nagged) by Aloted so I came to update my blog. It was well overdue! Honestly, I've had the urge to blog several times, but I can't seem to find enough hours in the day. And every little creative spark I have at the moment is going towards my professional writing. But anyway, back to the post:

Aloted and NoLimit came up with this idea for us to reflect and think about ten really positive attributes about us. (Here's the link to Aloted's post - here). I thought it was a great idea as Aloted mentioned, somehow we find it easy to remember the negative aspects of our character and we ignore the positives. So this got me thinking... and it was slow at first, but soon I was able to come up with more than ten good things about me.

So here goes:

Adaptable: I find that I can adjust to situations easily. Sometimes the fear of the unknown gets me worried, but once I'm in a situation, I can adjust and adapt easily.

Generous: I'm able to give and share easily. If I have something and someone else is in need, I will give. I actually find it enjoyable to give because I like it when the recipient is happy. Sharing my stuff comes easy to me too.

Dedicated: I don't commit to things easily, but once I do, there's no going back. I will make sure I see it through to the end. Whether it's a relationship, a project, an idea, etc.

Creative: Of course. I have to be, I was created by an awesomely creative God, lol. I find that the more I express my creativity, the more I get creative ideas. Whether it's in writing, cooking, interior design, problem-solving, or other things, I enjoy coming up with something new and different.

Curious: Not about gossip or other people's business, lol. I have a thirst for life and knowledge. I love to read, to travel, to explore, to experience new things. I love to ask questions about the big issues in life.

Optimistic: I like to see things in a positive light. I function better when I'm positive about the outcomes of any task. I'm drawn towards happy, good, positive things. I like to dream big and hope for the best all the time. I can't stand negativity, it drags me down.

Loyal: I just am. I haven't got many friends, but I am very loyal to the ones I have. I don't think it's fair to betray anyone, much less someone that considers you a friend.

Thoughtful: I consider all angles before I speak or act. I don't like to feel that I acted rashly or unfairly towards anyone, so I go out of my way to avoid that. If it was unavoidable or unintentional, I always apologise.

Team-Player: I can work very well in a team. I like to share tasks, do my part and make sure that everyone else is doing their part too. I will happily offer to help out other members so that the whole team achieves its goals.

Gentle: I'm usually calm and gentle, not a lot stresses me out. I don't like aggression or drama so I stay well away from it. I like my peace of mind too much to go looking for trouble.

There we are! I really enjoyed doing this, actually. I should recall this post from time to time, when I'm tempted to beat myself up.

So to share this, I would like to tag: Doll, Jaycee, Lara Daniels, Just Doyin, Believer, Vera, Simeone, Yellow Sisi, Shorty, Just Joxy, Enybee, Jhazmyn, ... okay, EVERYONE who has commented on my blog this year!

Stay blessed and favoured!

FG

Back From My Break

2011-07-27T00:23:00.002+01:00

*clears dust off blog*

Hi friends! It has been ages since I updated this blog. It almost feels strange to be writing here. In the past seven months or so, all of my thoughts have been gathering in my head, but I didn't have the time or energy to blog, so I just usually jotted down the important stuff that I really didn't want to forget. I remember a time (long ago) when I could update my blogs almost every day with any random thought that pops into my head.

Many, many thanks to you all for your kind wishes, thoughts and prayers towards me and my family. I really appreciate them and I pray that God will bless you in return. I am thankful for this new phase in my life. It's an odd feeling; knowing that I'm still me, but also knowing that my life has changed irreversibly. Having little FG around means so many different things on so many levels. Well, one of them is that I'm her first role model, so I have to behave myself! lol. I'm also thinking that this is where I need God more than ever before. I now pray that God, if I ever fail in anything in life, please let me not fail at being a parent.

So I'm slowly getting back to my (somewhat) normal routine (working round the little babe) and I'mgetting back to my work. I've started writing in little bursts again. I'm also devouring books like crazy, they're helping me to get my creative juices flowing. Previously, I thought my creativity had dried up cos my brain had switched completely into mummy mode. It felt good to take a break for a while, but it also feels great to be back, doing what I love.

I want to issue an apology to the fans and readers of our series In My Dreams It Was Simpler for the abrupt way we ended the public posts on the blog. Rest assured that I haven't forgotten my promise to keep you up to date with what happens next. So I've decided to continue working on Lola and Wole's story and have it as a separate book. I'll keep you guys posted with my progress on it. If you were not following the series before now, this is the time to catch up with the story because the conclusion is going to be hot!

So here's my quick update for now people, I hope to be back soon!

Stay blessed and favoured,
FG

Baby Favoured Girl

2011-03-30T16:17:00.001+01:00

Yes, that title is right - there's a little favoured girl in my life now! And I'm so blessed and thankful to God for giving hubby and I this wonderful gift. She's changed my life since she came at the end of January, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

When I found out I was pregnant early last summer, I was so excited, yet nervous about many things. I had a thousand and one questions about pregnancy, about childbirth and about becoming a parent. I read books, browsed several websites, spoke to other mums and expectant women, attended all the recommended classes, etc etc. But still nothing prepared me for the overwhelming feelings I get when I look at her. Right from the first scan when I saw the tiny heart beating, till this moment when she smiled in her sleep.

So FG is now a mummy - yay! That explains why I've been missing from my blogs and the internet in general. I decided last December that I was going to give myself a few months of 'maternity leave'. Gradually I'll get back to blogging and writing once again but for now, I'm taking things slowly, enjoying motherhood and adjusting to different priorities.

Stay blessed everyone!

FG

Year End Thanks

2010-12-31T23:08:00.000Z

If there's nothing else for me to say on the last day of 2010, I can confidently say God has been faithful, and for that I'm totally grateful!

Do you remember when we welcomed the new millennium back in 2000? A whole decade had passed since then - it's almost unbelievable, how much things have changed since then. The way we communicate, the way we share information, photography, TV, videos, the way we read books, play games, exercise, advances in technology and all that. But in many ways, things have been the same.

This past year 2010 was a year of ups and downs, but we've made it through to the end. We may have had a lot of hopes and expectations at the beginning of the year - some may have materialised and some we are still waiting on. We may have made some resolutions that we didn't keep. We may have made mistakes and stumbled on the path to achieving our dreams and goals. But it's a chance to start over - step away from the past and walk into a future that you can still shape into what you want.

What do you have planned for 2011? Changing your career? Starting your own business? Buying your own house? Doing that Masters degree? Moving to a new town or country? Finish writing that novel? Travelling to that dream destination? No matter what it is, you CAN make it happen! Just believe in what God has placed in you and start working hard to make your dreams come true!

Get ready for 2011!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T00:10:00.002Z

Hi folks - it's 25th December 2010 already!

Thank God for a reason to celebrate as we remember the birth of Jesus Christ. In all the busy-ness and excitement of the day, let's remember that Christmas is more than food, cards, hampers, presents, new clothes or even spending time with family and friends. Christmas is celebrating the fact that Jesus came to earth as a human being to redeem us, and He accomplished that same purpose!

I imagine that the world would be a very different place now, if Jesus hadn't come so many years ago. I certainly know that my life would be very different! Jesus Christ has made so much of an impact to the world in history and in my life personally, so I'm thankful for Christmas and the reasons behind it. I know some people argue that Jesus wasn't really born on the 25th of December, but that's besides the point. The fact remains that He came, and He came to give us all life in abundance.

So whatever you are doing to celebrate the day and the season, I wish you a safe and enjoyable time! For me, I'm having a low-key Christmas. I need to use this time to reflect and get ready for some new challenges in the new year.

Have a blessed Christmas, and a wonderful last week of 2010!

Need to Compare?

2010-11-29T22:05:00.003Z

It's almost December! Around this time, I start getting worried because the year is almost over and it seems like I haven't done half of all the things I set out to achieve in January. I would hope that every month so far has been productive. Maybe some more than others. Then you think- how am I going to really make this year count before 31st of December? But ultimately, I'm thankful to God for keeping me alive, giving me a purpose, and allowing me to grow older and wiser everyday.

Have you ever felt that compared with "everyone else" around you, your own circumstances are the worst? Do you have thoughts like "all my mates have achieved this, done that, have this or have that"? I'm now exploring this phenomenum of measuring myself with another person's yard stick. Where does it come from? Is it parents, peer pressure, the society as a whole or just my own unrealistic expectations?

It's probably a mixture of all four. On one hand, it drives me to want to achieve more and more (sort of like healthy competition) to ensure that I can boast too, but on the other hand, it makes me think "What's the point? That person just had better opportunities than I have". Like when you hear of your classmate in uni who is now a millionaire, or your friend from high school now running her own fashion empire. You are happy for them of course, but you also compare yourself and you end up feeling very small.

I think it starts when we still are young. You are put in a classroom with 15 or so other 3-year olds. There you are expected to all be at the same level, grow at the same speed and learn at the same pace. If for any reason you don't keep up with the rest of the class, then there's a problem with you. This pattern continues throughout life. You want the latest toys because "everybody has one". You want to wear a certain item of clothing because "that's what all the other kids are wearing". You want to feel like you are similar to everyone. You find yourself constantly looking around and checking to see if you are ahead or behind of your peers. Then you grow up and suddenly you realise that some things are outside your control. Your career is progressing very slowly meanwhile your mates have soared far ahead. Or your mates are getting engaged, married, and launching babies while you are still single. Or your friend has just bought a new flat, while you are still renting or living at home. It all adds up to a perfect recipe for frustration.

But why do we compare? Are we all given the same opportunities? Did God give us the same talents? Do we have the same circumstances? Do we all have the same goals? Do we have the same experiences or backgrounds? No, no, no and no. We don't even have the same genes!

So I've decided, from now on, I'm not going to compare myself with anyone else. I am me. I am unique. We all have our time and purpose to fulfil on earth. My time and purpose is not dependent on other people. Only God is in full control. And only God will I give the ability to push me forward.

Have a good week and a blessed month of December!

PS: It's my sister's birthday today! Happy birthday darling! xxx

Image credit: plmtwine.com

Achilles' Heel

2010-11-05T01:57:00.002Z

Hi folks! It's been a minute on this blog. I've been doing a lot of work and writing behind the scenes, updating my JDTA blog, writing short stories for magazines and working on our fiction series blog too, so I've allowed this blog to slide a bit. But rest assured, I'm doing great! Thanks to my friends who checked on me - I appreciate you guys!

So what's going on Blogville? I can't believe it's November already! For real, when was it June? Summer is now well and truly over, the days are getting shorter while the nights are getting longer, Christmas adverts are already appearing on TV, and I've had to start taking stock of the happenings of 2010. Soon, we would be making plans to welcome 2011 and then 2012... In everything, I can't complain because I've been experiencing God's blessings and favour throughout the year.

It's been a busy time for me in the last two months. Apart from writing, I've had my family coming over, been taking driving lessons, and generally moving into a new phase of my life. I've also been catching up on my reading, as I've got so many books on my to-read list, it's unbelievable. But I still can't stop myself from buying more! In the last month, I've read The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (this was quite a strange book, very different from what I would usually pick up, but it was a very good read nonetheless), The Boy Next Door by Irene Sabatini (I quite enjoyed reading this love story woven around the politics of Zimbabwe), and Love at Dawn by Lara Daniels (a tale of love, forgiveness and redemption which I thoroughly enjoyed reading) and I'm looking forward to a couple more before the end of the year.

Ever since I saw the movie Troy, I've been fascinated with the main characters in the story, especially Achilles. He was the great hero of the Trojan War and apparently when he was a baby his mother dipped him into a river which made him invincible except for his heel. According to Greek mythology, Achilles grew to become a great warrior and no one could stop him until Paris, a prince of Troy managed to shoot an arrow into his heel. Thus the phrase "Achilles heel" came to mean a weakness or flaw that can lead to a person's downfall in spite of his overall strength.

This story makes me think that we all have a weakness that can potentially lead to our downfall if we don't deal with it. I can think of many great men who have been destroyed by their lack of self-control when it comes to women. Some people have ended up in prison because of their greed for money. Some people have committed atrocious acts because of anger. And the list goes on. It may seem like it's not a big deal, and just overlook a small flaw in ourselves, but we do need to be careful. I know that I have my weaknesses too, and I have to constantly ask God for grace to overcome them. It can be all too easy to let one thing get out of hand, until we lose control and succumb to negative desires.

If you are struggling with some temptations or something that goes against your principles, please don't ignore it or hope it would go away by itself. You have to take steps to make sure you don't fall. For example, if you know your married boss at work is showing inappropriate interest in you, it would certainly not be wise to go on a dinner date with him. Do what you can to remove yourself from such sticky situations! One little slip of judgement could be all it takes, and before you know it, you are involved in an affair.

Oh well, that's enough sermonising for now, lol. Do head over to our series blog for some news on the In My Dreams It Was Simpler Story and the latest installment. Yours truly is writing this week and I promise it will be a worthy read!

Make sure you have a very relaxing weekend!

University of Life

2010-10-03T02:30:00.003+01:00

Sometime ago I pondered about this modern world of ours. Something is really wrong. There is a break down of society as a whole. We read of shootings and stabbings daily in the newspapers. We hear of gangs of youths carrying knives and guns to defend themselves with. We hear of marriages breaking up everyday - divorce rates are soaring and people are choosing not to get married anyway. We hear that stress at work is a major killer and cause of many serious diseases. We see the picture of the ideal family unit broken almost beyond repair. We see people sacrificing everything in the pursuit of happiness that just seems to elude them. Why is it so? I think it is mostly because we have placed the emphasis on the wrong things.

From the moment we are born, we are thrust into a society that places so much importance in education and defines us by success in our careers. How? We'll take the life of this typical child. From the day he is born, his parents bought him the best 'educational toys' that aim to give him a headstart in learning skills. His parents do all they can to enroll him in the best nursery school where he is to learn basic skills in speech, reading and writing. After that, he goes on to primary school where he is taught a wide range of subjects to give him a knowledge base that will be useful in future. Fast forward to three years of secondary school and then he is expected to make certain choices in his subjects that will start to define his future career. By the time he is finished with secondary school, success means achieving a place at university to study a degree. This degree will be his ticket to a life-long career. He may need to continually update his qualifications for example, getting a Masters qualification, taking some examinations etc. Success is measured by his job and how much he earns. Assuming he finished education at 24, he spends the next 40-odd years of his life working 9 - 5, Monday to Friday to earn a living. If the UK government have their way, he would be working until he is in his 70s before he can retire and claim a pension. But is that all?

Now I think education is a good thing. I think every child on this planet should be given an equal chance to succeed with a certain level of education. But I find it worrying that we place so much importance on just that - education and career. Is there not more to life than acquiring a degree? Would having a brilliant career make everyone's life fulfilled?

I read something in 'My Daily Bread' a while back. A survey was conducted about what people would want to reflect on in their final moments on this earth. What would they look back on and count as achievements? Strings of degrees? An impressive CV? Hefty bank accounts? List of awards and certificates? No. The main response people gave was they they would want their loved ones around them when they were on their death-bed. Furthermore, the biggest regret expressed wasn't "I wish I had spent more time at work". It was "I wish I had spent more time with my family". Family and loved ones always took priority over education and achievements.

Now if this is true, how come we still have this dysfunctional world? How come we spend the vast majority of our lives either in education or working endlessly pursuing material wealth? How come you can go to university to study virtually any subject in academics or research but there is no university that teaches us about the real-life challenges we face? You can study to become a Financial Analyst but who teaches you how to cope with the grief of losing of a loved one? You can study to become a doctor but where do you study to become a good husband or wife? I can graduate with a Bcs in Mathematics but where can I get a degree in Good Parenting Skills? Those are the things that really challenge us as individuals and no amount of education can help.

If I could change the world, I would shake up the current set-up. I would not be happy in a world where the majority of hours in the week, is all but committed to working, working, working. A world where the main driving force is money, money, money. When do we have time to actually live? When do we have time to grow and learn to become better people? Why won't we have a society that is crumbling?

Faith vs Common Sense

2010-09-08T23:57:00.002+01:00

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to." ~ George Seaton

For a while I've been pondering on faith, and its implications for the way I live my life every day. Sometimes when I'm at a crossroads and I need to make a decision, I often have a dilemma. Should I go with common sense or should I walk by faith? Do I go with my instincts? Should I make a list of pros and cons and use pure common sense to make a decision? Should I weigh all the options and go with the most "logical" conclusion? Should the way forward be the most "reasonable" one?

However, as a Christian who has decided to make God the CEO of my life, I've sometimes had to step back and wait for a different direction. The bible says: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". The bible also says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding."

There are many examples of God asking His people in the bible to make decisions that totally make no sense. God called Abraham to leave all that he knew, his father's house and go to a strange land. God told Noah to build an ark when there was no sea or river around him. God told Gideon to go to war with only 300 men when they were facing an enemy army of over 100,000 soldiers. Each time, it required true faith to for each of these people to override their common sense and obey God.

Still, it can be really scary when common sense clashes with what you believe God is telling you to do. If God says: quit your job and become a full-time missionary in some remote village, what immediately comes to mind? Questions and doubts of course. Like: how will I survive without a regular income? What about my career? Will I be safe there without my family and friends around me? Etc.

Even the strongest amongst us wrestles with doubt sometimes. It's normal, it's natural, it's part of being human. But from my little experience, I'll say that in the end, common sense has its place but faith triumphs over it. As long as your faith is in God and what He has called you to do, you cannot go wrong.

Common sense relies on your own limited abilities. Faith relies on God's unlimited ability.
Common sense stops when things get rough. Faith keeps going when common sense is exhausted.
Common sense says you should play it safe. Faith challenges us to step beyond our comfort zone
Faith says one failure does not mean the end. Common sense says you should give up if it doesn't work the first time.
Common sense limits you to only what you know. Faith empowers you to stretch your imagination.

Thanks for reading!

FG

Five Years

2010-07-27T22:11:00.001+01:00

Last weekend, hubby and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. I honestly can't believe it's been five years already since I donned a white dress, walked down the aisle and said my vows. I can also honestly say that it's been the most awesome decision I've ever made.

Looking back now, I can't imagine how different my life would have been if i hadn't gotten married in 2005. Sometimes I try to visualise myself in a different setting, maybe living in a different place, doing a different job and so on. No matter what, I still choose my life now any day. My life now makes complete sense because God arranged it that way. So I've got a lot of things to thank God for, everyday. Sometimes I'm short of words to express how grateful I am when I think about His blessings towards me.

Hey so I've been married for just over 1825 days! In practical terms, it probably means I've cooked over 2000 meals and done more than 1000 washing machine loads of laundry. In that time, we've moved house three times and changed cars four times. We've been on nine holidays together, watched more than 300 movies together, laughed over a million and one things together. We've both made career changes, wrestled with our faith sometimes, made mistakes, but come out stronger. We've enjoyed the good days and learned from the rough patches. We've dealt with each other's flaws and learnt to appreciate each other's strengths. It's been a journey of discovery about myself and about him. I'm wiser now, than I was five years ago, and that's a good thing!

To celebrate, we had a photoshoot - cos looking at our wedding album a few months ago I realised it was so out of date! Then I organised a surprise party for hubby (it was also his birthday) and he fell right into it! lol, he swore to retaliate though, which I don't really mind. It was fun planning the party, making calls and sending texts right under his nose and he didn't suspect a thing! I guess he trusts me! I'm grateful for our friends that came (one of them is a blogger) and kept it a secret from him.

In everything, I'm grateful to God and so looking forward to the next 5, 10, 15 and more years of happy marriage!

FG

New Month and Updates

2010-06-04T03:00:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone! Welcome to the month of June! Sheesh, I can't believe I didn't update this blog for over a month. That's not because I didn't have anything to say, but I've just been so busy! Where do I even start from now? May was quite an eventful month, even though I feel like it flew by and I couldn't slow it down long enough to finish doing all I had planned.

On a personal note, I'm thankful I had a good month, I have many many reasons to be grateful to God. He remains faithful, the only One in my life that has never and would never let me down. I'm grateful for another year added to my life, and the many joys I have enjoyed. I'm grateful for my family and friends, for my health and for peace of mind. I'm grateful for provision and protection, for God's mercies, favour and guidance. I'm grateful for answered prayers, and even pending ones.

In other news:

I've started working on a new novel. My previous WIP manuscript has gone up in smoke. While it was a painful decision to throw it away, I have had time to reflect on it and I reckon, no knowledge is wasted. I've learnt a lot while writing it and I dare say, that my writing has improved. I may return to it much later in the future, but I would have to do so much work to edit it, that I fear it may not be worth the trouble.

Myself and some of my fellow writers (of the In My Dreams It was Simpler series) were interviewed for The Mantle. It was a fun experience, and we were thrilled to be approached by Shaun Randol, the Senior Editor to do a joint interview. You can read the two parts of the interview by clicking the links below:

The Mantle Interview (Part 1)
The Mantle Interview (Part 2)

I've got a feature in this month's edition of Reconnect Africa Magazine, also based on the series book. It turned out really interesting, so do check it out here:

Feature on ReConnect Africa

And finally, our group blog In My Dreams It Was Simpler has been nominated in three categories for the 2010 Nigerian Blog Awards! If you haven't already, head over to the Nigerian Blog Awards link right now to vote for us! We are in the Best Group or Collaborative Blog, Best Writing or Book Blog, and the Nigerian Blog of the Year categories. We are up against some tough competition, but it's great that we got recognised for our work! Do pop over there now to cast your vote. For us, of course. LOL

Have a lovely weekend and a blessed month!

FG

Bald Head and My Birthday

2010-04-30T22:56:00.002+01:00

I think I'm going to shave off all my hair and rock a bald head for a while - like Nnena here.

I've been toying with the idea since last month and I've been 50-50 about it, but after today, I'm more like 90-10 in favour of shaving my hair off. All the stress, required care and work necessary to maintain long, healthy black hair is getting too much. Maybe I'm lazy, but I would rather take convenience over stress any day. I mean, I've practically stopped doing any physical shopping since I could buy things online. You name it, clothes, books, shoes, gifts, gadgets, even my weekly grocery shopping, I get them delivered to my doorstep. The last time I had to go shopping with a friend, I got bored and impatient after twenty minutes. Life is too short - I could be doing better things with my time, instead of trawling the shops, bumping into people who just stop walking randomly, loaded with heavy bags, dealing with long queues at the tills and over-helpful staff in the changing rooms.

Anyway so what brought this on? This morning, I went to the salon to have my hair put in short, kinky twists, my favourite hairstyle. By the time I left the salon, I was tired, poorer, and grumpy with a sore neck. I'm sure my blood pressure would have gone up a notch or two as well. First of all, the stylist was trying to convince me to have a weave instead. I was like "What? Are you the one that will dictate the style I want to do?". To cut a long story short, we started the hair. We hadn't gone far when we had another row because she tried to run a blazing hot blow-dryer through my hair. Then she stopped my hair halfway and started someone else's. When I had enough I got up and was about to leave, when the manager pleaded with me to be patient. Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience and I was so fed-up by the time they finally finished my hair, that I never want to do it again. Well, not for a year or two anyway.

Okay, rant over. On to more beautiful gist:

It's the Bank Holiday weekend! And it's my birthday! Yep, that's right - I'm going to be a year older by the time I come back to update this blog. Usually I try to do something to celebrate, but this year I haven't made any plans. We tried to get tickets to see a show in the West End, but we left it too late, and all the good ones were sold out! So I guess it will be a quiet one at home. Hubby is even threatening to use the extra day off to study so I may just sleep through the day. lol

However, if anyone wants to throw me a surprise party or send me presents or buy me a birthday cake, then I won't say no. You will be more than welcome!

Have a great weekend blogville!

PS: Before you go, check out our latest installment on the series blog HERE

And check out my poem, published on Femme Lounge HERE

xxx

Social Issues: Domestic Staff

2010-04-19T07:37:00.002+01:00

If you follow TTEC on Solomosydelle's blog, you may have come across some of the recent posts on "Househelps and Sexual Abuse" which have been featured lately. I found those posts quite worrying, and they got me thinking about the way the vast majority of middle and upper class Nigerians treat their domestic staff - people like housemaids, gatemen,/security men, drivers, gardeners and so on. The other day, I was discussing the issue with some friends and we all agreed that, in general, they were treated in an appalling way.

From what I've observed, they are treated like second-class citizens in the homes where they work. They often don't share the same living quarters with the rest of the family. Or they are given the worst spaces possible. They use a different set of utensils to eat, for some reason. They are given cast-offs of the children's clothes to wear.

Then they are spoken to in awful ways. Sometimes I would visit a friend and she would be speaking with me nicely and politely, and then turn around to use a harsh and intimidating tone on her housemaid, and call her abusive names. I don't understand it. Sure you can use a stern tone when you are giving instructions to an employee but is there a need for the constant stream of abuse? Would any of us take that kind of attitude from our managers at the office?

Which brings me to my next point. Domestic staff have little or no employment rights. They don't have regular working hours, due to the nature of their work. But then they also don't have any benefits. They don't have holidays, they don't get days off, they don't have anything called a social life. They don't get sick days off or sick pay. Sometimes they don't go to school and can't learn any skill while they are working for their masters. I'm sure none of us professional ladies would ever imagine working for a company that didn't give us any time off or holidays, or allow us any social life. We would protest, but we give the same treatment to our own employees. I have even heard women complaining bitterly when it's Christmas time, and their maid wants to take a couple of weeks off to go and visit her family. It's like, she's not human right? She doesn't need time off to go and see her family. Never mind that madam has taken time off from her own job so that she can enjoy her own Christmas holiday.

Furthermore, the physical violence towards them is just... I don't know. Women who won't raise a hand to strike their own children seem to see no qualms in beating their maids to a pulp at the slightest offence. For some reason, the maid always deserves a beating whenever she makes a mistakes, whereas their children do worse things, but they don't get beaten. Why? What makes it different? Would any of us tolerate physical abuse at work? Why do we think it is okay to hit our domestic staff?

The funny thing is that these mistreatments are not limited to any type of woman. I have witnessed women from all spheres of life mistreating their domestic staff. Even women who should know better, like pastor's wives, lawyers or human right's activists. We can speak out against so many injustices in the world, but for some reason, we seem to turn a blind eye to the ones we do right under our nose.

We can argue that we can't trust them, they are rogues, thieves and what not. But for the amount of money they are paid, and the useful service they provide to us, most of our domestic staff don't get treated well. So of course, they don't have much of an incentive to behave properly.

Has anyone tried to put themselves in their maid's shoes? You are taken away from your family and sent to the city to work for a strange family. You could be scared, lonely and homesick, but you have to put all those emotions aside and get on with it. Then you have to endure working from sunrise to sunset every single day of the week. If you are really lucky you will end up working for a nice family that will treat you well. But the majority are treated harshly by everyone in the family - from the madam, to the oga, to the children. And you dare not complain. In fact, who will you complain to? Who will believe you, if you say your madam is mistreating you, or your oga is making sexual advances towards you? The best you can do is to run away. But where does that leave you? Out of a job, broke and lost in a big city.

I hope we can all start making some small changes to the way we treat our maids. It may just be a small change we make everyday, but it would make a whole world of difference to someone. I would like to imagine a world where housemaids can point to the time they spent with their madams and say that those years were one of the best times of their lives.

Food for thought.

Anyways, have a great week ahead!

Happy Easter

2010-04-02T01:27:00.002+01:00

Happy new month! I hope you had a good month in March, and are looking forward to bigger and better things in April. I honestly don't know where the time went! It was like I blinked and March flew past me. Somebody please tell April to slow down and not fly by so fast... by the way, did anyone get sucked into an April Fool's prank?

This week, I've learnt to be thankful for electricity. Last Monday, there was a power cut in our area that lasted for over 14 hours. It was so unusual for that to happen, we didn't have any back-up in the house! Our place operates on electricity so I couldn't cook, do the laundry, or heat the house. We had to go and get a torch light and batteries in the evening. It was such a relief when the power came back on!

I've finished reading Love in Paradise by Lara Daniels, Egg-Larva-Pupa-Woman by Ogo Akubue-Ogbata (which the writers both kindly sent to me) and In Dependence by Sarah Ladipo Manyika (which broke my heart). I'm now reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Loving them all, and I promise to review them later.

The Easter weekend is upon us! I'm looking forward to a relaxing time with hubby, we might visit a couple of family and friends, generally eat more than usual, and reflect on the reason why we celebrate the season. I'm thankful that Jesus came to earth to die for us, and I'm so glad that He accomplished His mission on earth, and He redeemed us. I've been very good so far, I haven't indulged in Easter eggs (yet). But we'll see!

Before you go:

Read about our Amazon Book Launch, courtesy of The Bookaholic. And if you need convincing, check out an excerpt of our book In My Dreams It Was Simpler on The New Black Magazine HERE

Don't forget to check out our blog tomorrow for a new installment - right HERE, make sure you don't miss it for anything.

Wish you all a lovely Easter weekend!

FG

Books on My Desk

2010-03-18T19:24:00.004Z

My books arrived from Amazon! So I've now got six books on my desk to devour. I've already started reading "In Dependence" by Sarah Ladipo Manyika. I might do a review of it when I'm done.

Apart from reading, I've been getting back into the swing of writing again. I've had to abandon my book manuscript for now. I hope to start working on another one very soon. Will keep you all posted.

And finally: I want to apologise to you guys for the closure of our "In My Dreams It Was Simpler" series blog. One of our writers was indisposed, and we were also making some changes to the story. Thanks for being patient with us! The blog has reopened now, and the series would be updated tomorrow so do check it out!

Have a lovely weekend ahead!

Books Books Books!

2010-03-03T11:03:00.005Z

This might sound kinda sad, but I'm so excited because I've just bought some books! Lol, I love reading, and now that I'm a writer it's become part of my job to read. My book shelf is now groaning under the weight of stuff, but that won't make me stop buying books! I've been eyeing so many books for a while, my Amazon wish-list has been calling my name, so I just decided to go ahead and treat myself this month.

I bought:

Blonde Roots by Bernardine Evaristo

On Black Sisters' Street by Chika Unigwe

I Do Not Come to You by Chance by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

In Dependence by Sarah Ladipo Manyika

And finally: In My Dreams It Was Simpler

(Yep, I bought a copy of our own book! It's for research purposes, lol)

I can't wait for all of them to arrive in the post! I'm eager to bury my head in crisp pages of literature... transporting me to places far away... introducing me to new people... bliss...

I think I'm sorted for the next month or so, but knowing me, I might just buy a few more sooner!

PS: Check out my interview on The Bookaholic Blog! (better late than never)

Enjoy the rest of your week!

I'm Human

2010-02-25T16:30:00.004Z

I'm Human

If you pinch me, I will react

If you annoy me, I will get angry

If you hurt me, I will cry

If you cut me, I will bleed

After all, I'm only human.

I try to be a better person everyday

Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard

Sometimes I get it right

Sometimes I get it wrong

But it's okay because,

After all, I'm only human

I make mistakes, I have my flaws

I'm not perfect, I'm not pristine

I'm not a robot or a machine

I have emotions that I express

And that's perfectly fine,

Because I'm only human

I'm not an angel, I'm not God

I get tired and irritable

I have moments of strengths

But also moments of weakness

I cannot see the future

I cannot promise not to fail

After all, I'm only human

I will fall, but I will rise

I will do my best once again

I will admit when I'm wrong

I will say sorry when I offend

But this I know for sure

I am only human

I Hear Voices

2010-02-18T17:47:00.008Z

No, I'm not mad.

When I got the rejection letter from the publisher I submitted my novel to last year, I decided to put the manuscript away for a while so that I could get some distance and hopefully clarity on it. I haven't looked at the work since December. Now I'm hearing my characters whispering to me, asking me why I abandoned them for so long. They want me to come and clear up the twists I've left in their lives. One of my protagonists especially, is asking for a slight change in his life. I'm considering it.

Weird, huh? Most fiction writers would know what I'm talking about. It's funny having your own made-up characters come alive and start taking over your sub-conscious. Weird and a bit scary. Anyhow, I love my job, so I'm not complaining. I just wish they would let me do it on my own terms... okay, okay, I've got to go and finish re-writing that chapter...

Take care folks!

PS: Before you go, check out my interview on Femme Lounge

PPS: Our series blog will be updated tomorrow! Make sure you check it out!

Love Poem

2010-02-13T01:30:00.001Z

My Far Away Love

Every morning starts beautifully

with the sound of your sweet voice from a phone call.

It's second best to actually embracing you in my arms,

under the covers that protect us from the chill that lies outside.

Your melodic wake-up laughter over the phone is second best

to the overwhelming smile I see in the morning,

when I hold you in my arms

after having spent another wonderful night with you.

Your "I Love You"s over the phone

always make me smile and hold the phone tighter,

second best to looking into your eyes with those words,

and being able to deeply kiss you afterwards,

sending a chilling warmth throughout our bodies.

But with you... you are my #1.

The closest person in the world to me.

With you, there is no second best.

There is no one close to even being "second" or "best".

I hold you, alone, in the most intimate place in my heart.

It's a place where I can feel you, still close, when you're far away.

Where I can close my eyes, and hear your voice,

listen to your laugh, and feel your "I Love You"s.

So please, keep calling me in the morning.

Cause second to your kisses,

theres no better alarm clock than your personalized ring.

No better way to begin the day than with you.

- Patrick Flores -

It's Valentine's weekend, but my val is miles away and this poem expresses how I feel (I'm no poet, so I didn't write it!). I'm missing him and I can't wait for him to come back home. Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples out there, do something special, but remember to keep your love alive every single day!

Season 2 Begins!

2010-02-05T15:00:00.002Z

Hey people! TGIF! I hope you've all had a good week and you are looking forward to a wonderful weekend. As for me, I'm really excited because Season 2 of our blog series begins today!

And to celebrate, we are giving you an irresistible offer! For a limited time, we are offering the Season One book at a discount! So you can easily catch up on the story while we update the new season.

The Ebook was ~~£3.99~~, it's now £2.99

The paperback was ~~£7.99~~, it's now £6.99

Get your copy here while this offer lasts!

You can also get a copy of the book from Amazon UK or Amazon US so you don't have any more excuses!

Have a very blessed weekend!

Imagine Me

2010-01-28T13:57:00.000Z

I woke up and this Kirk Franklin song was playing over and over in my mind. It got me thinking about the time in my life when I was very timid, shy and insecure person, struggling with low self esteem. I remember those feelings of "not being good enough", "not being pretty enough" and so on clearly. I have vowed that the one thing I will make sure I do when I have children of my own is to instill healthy self-esteem and self-confidence into them from a young age.

If there is anyone who has never had to deal with low self esteem, there are no words to accurately describe the feelings. It's like a huge cloud hanging over you, darkening everything in your mind. It's like a voice whispering in your head constantly - saying that you are not important, you don't matter, you will never be good enough, you can't do anything good, so why bother? It's the critic in your mind that measures you against everyone else and tells you that you fall far short. It's not believing in yourself or your own talents and abilities. It's like a hopeless despair that you don't deserve anything good, so even when good things happen to you, you are questioning them or thinking they cannot last. It's blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life. It's hating yourself and wishing you could be someone else - anyone just as long as it's not you. It's looking up to someone else to define who are and what you can be. It's settling for less because you don't believe you deserve more. It's not knowing your value and worth.

Need I go on? It's awful, awful awful, and I know this because I went through it. And my heart goes out to anyone who is struggling with these issues. A lot of problems we face in our lives and relationships can be traced to these issues. Why do some women stay with abusive partners? Because they don't think they deserve better. Why do some people give up on their dreams? Because they don't believe they have what it takes to succeed.

I can't but be very thankful to God everyday for bringing me out of that twisted way of thinking about myself. Every time I remember, I say "Thank You God because I am not who I used to be some years ago". It wasn't easy but I am sooooo glad that I have gotten over that negative way of thinking about myself - who I am, whose I am and what I am capable of. And I could only have changed my mindset with God's Word and God's help. I have blogged about this in an older post here but I just felt like someone needed to read this today.

God's word says that He is our Father. He knew you before you we were born. You are a unique individual, created in God's image and likeness. He formed you in your mother's womb. He saw you and declared that you are very good. He is with you every single day. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of good, not of evil. He loves you with an unconditional love that nothing can take away. He loves you so much that He sent His son to die for you because - guess what? You are worth it! You are so valuable to God that even the hairs on your head are numbered. He has invested His time, gifts and talents in you, so you don't need to compare yourself with anyone else. He has kept you and preserved your life thus far, and He has great plans for you.

The voice telling you negative things about yourself is the enemy. You can choose not to believe it. Instead fill your mind with the positive words of love and affirmation that God has spoken concerning you. With time, you will start to believe in what God has said about you. Don't let low self-esteem hold you down any longer. Start believing in yourself and your worth!

Be blessed!

Book Launch, Interview and the Weather

2010-01-14T18:12:00.000Z

Hey peeps! It's only the second week of the year and already so much is going on. I've been buried under a load of work and stuff, but also snowed in because of the cold snap the UK has been experiencing in the last two weeks. I find the UK media response to the snow quite amusing. It has been frontpage and headline news for days. They have dedicated so much airtime to covering every single tiny detail of "the big freeze". You would think there are other more important issues to talk about. You would expect that they know it is winter and it snows in winter, so they should just get on with it. But for some reason, the British make a big deal out of it, and it's almost as if the whole country grinds to a halt. Schools close, offices close, the trains don't work, airports close, flights are grounded, the postman doesn't go out, people panic-buy food, etc etc.

For me, it has been fun to look out of my window every day and see the snow. I've only been out in it twice, and I didn't enjoy it at all. I don't like the cold. So while I thank God for snow, I also thank God for the safety and comfort of a warm house. Here's a pic I took of my neighbour's garden:

Recently I've been following the news on TV and online about the Haiti earthquake. It's so sad to hear about so many lives lost, people in desperate situations, without food or shelter. If you are able to donate please go to Disaster Emergency Committee or World Vision and give something to help the victims of this natural disaster.

In other news - We are launching our blog series book tomorrow! We've compiled the story into a book, which I assure you is a really great read. It's available both in paperback and as an ebook, so you can choose whichever format works for you. We would really appreciate your support, so pop over HERE to get your copy! The first ten people to buy a copy tomorrow will get a nice discount. I got my proof copy some days ago and I had fun reading and admiring it. I couldn't believe it was actually real:

I've also got an interview (my first!) with Belinda Otas - check it out! I guess I have now completely removed the mask of anonymity. Ms NoLimit said I should not not be shy, so there you go! If you see me on the tube, come and say hi!

Enjoy the weekend ahead! xx

Week One

2010-01-07T23:30:00.000Z

Just checking in to say:

Happy New Year!

I'm planning, writing and working on many things at the moment, but all will be revealed soon. Got to get cracking on those goals for the new year. Time doesn't wait - can you believe on week in 2010 is gone already!

Wish everyone a wonderful year 2010! May all your dreams come true.

Thankful for 2009

2009-12-31T19:04:00.000Z

Wow, 2009 is almost over! Did the year fly by quickly or what? Can anyone believe that all the hype about entering the new millennium was actually TEN years ago? Soon it will be 2010 and another decade will begin. Time flies, they say, and it seems like it is spinning even faster nowadays.

This time last year I was looking forward to the year 2009 with hope and expectations. I had a long list of hopes , dreams and ambitions. I had a list of prayer requests and petitions that I placed before God to help me achieve by the end of the year. Now it's the last day of the year, and I am really grateful to God. Nope, I didn't get everything on my wish-list. But I have gained so many wonderful things in this past year, and I have received so many blessings from God, that I cannot but be grateful.

I'm thankful to God for my blessings. I have been overwhelmed many times when I think about how good God has been to me. I can't list them all but I can mention a few:

I'm thankful for my family: mum, dad, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, etc. Sure, once in a while somebody gets on my nerves but I know I love them, and I cannot do without them.

I'm thankful for the simple joys of peaceful sleep. I have slept and woken up everyday in the last 365 days.

I'm thankful to God for meeting all my needs. I never had to go hungry or beg for anything in 2009.

I'm thankful for the good times that I enjoyed, and the not-so-good times where God was my strength and hope.

I'm thankful for laughter and fun in my life. There are too many sad and lonely people in the world today.

I'm thankful to God for adding another year to my life. I celebrated a birthday in perfect health, surrounded by good friends and family.

I'm thankful to God for the many wonderful new friends I made this year. Especially my fellow bloggers who have become my friends and sisters. Aloted, Believer, Writefreak, Nolimit, Diamond Hawk, GoodNaijaGirl and more. And to my writing mentors: Abidemi Sanusi and Dr Tade.

I'm thankful for another peaceful, happy and fulfilling year of marriage. I know I am so blessed and privileged to share my life with a man that makes me happy, believes in me, loves me, supports me and wants the best for me.

I'm thankful because I'm older and wiser now, than I was a year ago.

I'm thankful for protection and safety. I went through 2009 without any accidents - amazing.

I'm thankful for the trips around Europe I enjoyed during the year.

I'm thankful for the progress I made with my work this year. And the opportunities I have to explore further in the coming months.

I'm thankful to my co-writers on our blog series: Latifa, Jaycee, Icepick, Flourishing Florida, Diamond Hawk, Ayodele, Writefreak and Rayo. Thanks for believing in my idea and working with me.

I'm thankful because I've moved closer to God this year.

I'm also thankful for the many lessons I've learnt this year:

I've learnt to depend on God more than ever

I've learnt that respecting my husband is the key to a peaceful marriage

I've learnt to be more patient

I've learnt to appreciate the important things in life

I've learnt not to compare myself with anybody

I've learnt that I should choose carefully whose opinions I take on board

I've learnt to receive criticism graciously

I've learnt that a positive attitude wins in the end, even in the face of overwhelming odds.

I've learnt that pride and sacrificial love are not compatible.

I've learnt to be humble and content with what, who and where I am at the moment.

For 2010:

I want to be completely in tune with where God wants me to be, what God wants me to do and at His perfect timing.

I want to be more and more like Jesus everyday.

I want to achieve my potential with my writing.

I want to become a better wife, sister, daughter and friend.

So help me God.

Now I'm counting down to 2010........................!!!

Happy New Year to everyone! May 2010 be the best year ever in all aspects of our lives!

I'm off to church in a few hours. How will you see in the new year?

As The Year Draws to a Close

2009-12-30T01:12:00.000Z

Hey everyone! Hope you had a Merry Christmas and you are rounding up 2009 on a great note. I had a nice time over the Christmas period, with time spent hanging out with family and friends. And of course, lots of things to eat, and the exchanging of gifts. Apart from the small hitch of some of my Christmas shopping being delayed in the post, and hence some people not getting their presents, it was all good.

That is, until I heard the news about the Nigerian terrorist. Until that Boxing Day, I never thought I would hear of a Nigeria attempting a suicide bombing... ever. In fact, for many hours, I was at a gathering of friends and we were all speculating that perhaps the guy was not even a real Nigerian, and was just an imposter posing with a Nigerian passport. Until CNN, Sky News and the BBC released (and keep releasing) further details of who he is and the stories surrounding how he became a terror suspect. I have read countless blogs, articles and commentaries about the story and all the angles, even some wild, crazy speculations. All I can say is, the guy did Nigeria as a nation and all Nigerians no favours at all. It's hard enough trying to shake off the negative images we already have as fraudsters, a corrupt nation, a failed state, etc now we have to deal with the added 'terrorist' tag. I can just imagine how much more difficult it will be for ordinary, decent, honest and hardworking Nigerians to get a visa, or travel around the world. I know how I feel every time I travel around Europe and my passport is given extra attention at immigration desks, and I am subjected to extra scrutiny. This latest incident will only make it worse. Sigh.

So what can I do? As one person, I can only continue to uphold Nigeria's name by showing the rest of the world that one individual's actions cannot and should not define who the rest of us are, as a nation. I will continue to proudly declare that I am a Nigerian, and no, I am not fraudulent, neither do I have any intentions of blowing up airplanes.

Moving on, I am thankful to be alive to see 2009 coming to an end. It really did fly by so quickly! Thankfully, I'm ending the year with many many many reasons to be grateful to God. I've grown older and wiser, learnt many lessons, received tangible and intangible blessings, made new friends, travelled to new places, enjoyed some new experiences and fulfilled some dreams. Yes, it's been a wonderful year.

I'm looking forward to 2010, it looks like it's going to be a very interesting year. Here is wishing everyone a wonderful year 2010! May we spend the year in perfect health, may we move many steps forward in achieving our dreams and may we all be far better people in 2010 than we've ever been. Happy New Year in advance!

My.First.Rejection.Letter

2009-12-10T16:11:00.000Z

I got my first rejection letter from a publisher yesterday. It is a rite of passage for every aspiring author :) In fact I got a text from my published writer friend to say congrats! Apparently it means I am now a real writer! lol.

As far as rejection letters go, this one's not too bad actually. The publisher said "Unfortunately with the publishing industry in it's current state, I felt your novel would not be commercial enough". I want to remain positive, so I will take that to mean the novel was not completely rubbish, and her rejection is simply down to economics and timing. I've heard of editors giving some really funny reasons for rejecting a novel to the tune of "Do yourself a favour and don't give up the day job"! So FG will pick herself up and carry on. As someone else said, it can only mean I'm one step closer to meeting the right publisher.

The fear of rejection was one of the things I was so worried about when I first decided to start writing, but I think I've had to see it as one of the things that come with the business side of writing, and not take it personally. Even the most successful authors who have won long lists of awards for their writing had to face rejection at some point. Determination and resilience is an essential strength to have in this game, and a thick skin is also very useful!

On to other news:

To say a big thank you to our readers and supporters, we are running a competition and giveaway for the next three weeks on our series blog! Check it out! This is the first one and entries will close on Monday the 14th. There will be two more competitions and prizes until Christmas, so make sure you click over to the blog now and enter. You could be a winner!

Hope you enjoy the rest of the week and have a great weekend ahead.

FG

More Internal Musings

2009-11-19T21:52:00.002Z

Yesterday around 6.00pm, I was on the concourse at Liverpool Street station. This might sound like a rather random or mundane bit of information for me to be blogging about. But right there, in the hustle and bustle, the crush of commuters, the sea of suits and ties surrounding me, I suddenly realised that I was no longer a part of them. Yes, them. The City of London workers. The impatient mob of commuters, rushing for trains, jostling and elbowing anyone in their path, every determined step they take, timed to perfection to catch their train, with the platform number programmed in their head, a quick snatch of the evening newspaper to read on the train, and a satisfied smile if they find a seat in the carriage nearest to their exit at their destination. Some of them, on the phone speaking to husbands, wives or children, telling them "I'm on my way home now honey, just about to catch the 6.18 train". Some of them making plans or changing plans with friends they were supposed to meet up with after work.

I used to be among that crowd and yesterday, I paused for a few moments on the concourse and thought how different my life is now. I have been out of the 9 - 5 for fifteen months, and by yesterday I already felt like an outsider. Not that at I'm complaining at all. I used to think that was the only way to live, that was the only way to work - being an accountant working in Central London, facing commuter hell Monday to Friday. I wrote this post in October 2006, and at the time, I was fed up with the lifestyle and I knew I could not carry on with the 9 - 5 indefinitely. I was thinking that I needed to find a job where I didn't have to commute like that everyday. It has been three years since I wrote that post, and I am so glad and grateful to God, that my little dream is coming true. Even if it's something as small as having the freedom to work from home. I may not have the millions (yet), but my quality of life is already vastly improved. Hmmm, I may revisit this topic in another three years' time.

So what was I even doing in Liverpool Street in the thick of the evening rush hour? I was on my way to a Creative Writing class at the Southbank Centre. I had attended one last month and I enjoyed it very much, so I was looking forward to learning new ideas yesterday. And I did. The tutor talked about blogging, writing short stories for traditional print publications, and also writing for an online audience. I made a note of many of the good points he raised, and I will be implementing some new ideas. One idea I'm taking further is our blog series, so keep an eye on it and I'll be letting you all know what's coming next.

I can't believe the year is drawing to a close so quickly. I was almost alarmed when I looked at the date today and saw it was 19th of November. It's like I blinked and seven months of the year just flew by me! The thought makes me feel like I have to redeem the time wisely, everyday I have to achieve something. It may be learning a new life lesson, it may be finding a better way to do something, it may be gaining a new level of knowledge about myself, it may be drawing just that little bit closer to God and having more of His grace rubbing off on me, it may be encouraging a friend, it may be becoming a better wife. Everyday, I feel like I should be a better person when I go to bed, than I was when I woke up.

Okay, I'm off to make the most of the remaining minutes of this day, I'll be back soon with another update. Enjoy the rest of the week.

FG

Musing and Rambling

2009-10-24T23:17:00.000+01:00

Excuse me if this post is a bit all over the place.

I've had a couple of inspiring weeks, both spiritually and professionally.

Spiritually, I'm grateful to God for the many lessons I've learnt in the past year. If I was to write them all down... it would take too long. Okay, I guess I could share a few....

Since I left my job, I gave up my income, so I've had to learn to depend on hubby financially. That was one huge step for me because I was brought up to think I should never rely on a man to provide for me. I think God needed to teach me this lesson because earning my own income made me proud (not in a good way), such that I could give hubby attitude if he wanted to know what I was doing with my income. I also felt like I didn't need him to agree with me regarding any purchases I made, afterall it was my money, not his! Now I'm a lot wiser and calmer, I'm also less wasteful, realising that I don't need to buy everything the fashion mags are throwing in my face. I'm also learning to be humble because I've made the mental shift from thinking "it's my money" to "it's our money".

I like the way God uses the mistakes I make and turns them around for my own good. Several times I've been kicking myself for making a wrong move, and then a couple of days later, I realise that the mistake I made was actually a good thing!

I've been learning to trust and rely on God every step of the way. I've had to pray that God should help me to be better organised with my time (and stop procrastinating). I think I'm a lot better at managing my time now unlike in 2007 when I was swimming in oceans of time without structure, and still not managing to be productive.

God has been helping me with good ideas, inspiration, meeting the right people, organising my work, prioritising my projects, etc. I think it was a great idea to make Him my CEO. lol

Professionally, I've been attending a few literary events at the Southbank Centre since the beginning of the month. So far I've attended three book readings including the Booker Prize reading, a Book Club discussing Sadie Jones' "The Outcast" and a creative writing class on blogging. I've learnt a lot, and got some great ideas for my work. I've also met some really nice people that I intend to keep in touch with.

I'm considering the idea of getting rid of my anonymity. I know a lot of people know who I am but I have still managed to cling to the idea that I'm still an anonymous blogger. Hmmm.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

When the Bible is Silent

2009-10-12T14:24:00.001+01:00

As a Christian, I believe that the Bible is the Word of God and He has put in there guiding principles for me to live my life by. I’m often amazed at how God uses the Bible to speak to me concerning a situation I’m dealing with, or a choice I have to make. Sometimes it’s a direct commandment, sometimes it’s a guiding principle, sometimes I have to discern what to do from the examples of other people’s lives recorded in the bible, sometimes it’s not my choice but my motives that I am reminded to examine. Several times I might have even made a decision and I just read the Bible to know if God approves or not.

But sometimes I know we face choices that the Bible is silent on. Perhaps it’s a situation that is peculiar to our modern society that did not exist in biblical times. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing, something that the Jewish people did not agree with, but it’s acceptable in our own culture. Sometimes the Bible doesn’t always give us the answers in black and white and we have to find other means of arriving at our own conclusions.

The other day, I was watching a TV programme about space travel. The scientists on the programme were talking about how much time and money has been spent by the US government on the Space Programme and how Russia, China and some other countries were also dedicating mind-boggling sums of money to space exploration so that they can claim territories on the moon and other planets. There was an argument afterwards as to why we human beings have not finished solving the problems we have on Earth, but we are going to space. Someone mentioned that if we dedicated a fraction of the amount of money we have spent on space travel to humanitarian causes, we can end world hunger and world poverty. So where does the bible stand on this? Should we be exploring other frontiers, or should we solve one problem before we go and look for more?

I was listening to the radio a few days ago and the speaker was talking about the choice between burial and cremation. Apparently some Christians have been torn between buying expensive land for burials and choosing cremation as a cheaper option. The bible is silent on this topic, but in biblical times, the Jews placed a big importance on burial. Meanwhile the Greeks, Romans and other cultures cremated their dead. The speaker was saying that if we were faced with such a choice today, will the Bible be a conclusive reference? Should we go by the Jewish culture or should we ignore that, especially now that the world is a crowded place and burial land is now at a premium?

Then there are other personal issues like whether or not to have children. The bible does say that we should “go forth and multiply” but nowadays there are more and more couples that make the decision not to have children for valid reasons. Should we say they are wrong? What about the genotype of your future partner, if you find out that you and your fiancée are both sickle-cell carriers? What about the choice between keeping a pregnancy that resulted from abuse or getting rid of it? What about the issue of a choice between staying in a bad marriage and opting for a divorce? What about culture versus Christianity on the issue of polygamy? (Yes there are some Christians that defend polygamy. I was shocked when I found some books and resources where some people argued that many of the great men in the bible were polygamous and God still blessed them). So if that was not God’s plan, why is the bible silent on such a major topic?

Sometimes the issue is not even that the bible is silent, but it seems to contradict itself. There are many passages that suggest the exact opposite of each other. We then have people split into factions, each side quoting the bible to support their stand. Many churches have been split up over issues that the bible does not have a clear answer, for example: female church leaders, polygamy, eating certain foods, what to do with church leaders that sin, and many more. These generate countless questions that we can debate for hours and years but ultimately we have to come to our own conclusions.

I feel that if I come across a question or a choice that the bible does not adequately address, I have to then go to God directly and ask Him what to do and what to believe. I know don’t have all the answers, I don’t have the full picture and I certainly can’t solve all of the world’s problems. I have one way of knowing if I’m taking the right step: peace. If I feel at peace with my decision, then I’m confident that I’m in God’s will. Now it’s not my place to impose my own view or my own choices on other people for what works for me is not necessarily what will work for everybody. Only God sees all and knows all. I’ll let Him be the judge.

I Like Being Me

2009-09-30T17:11:00.001+01:00

She was my friend, from way back in secondary school. Back then I was an awkward, insecure teenager not sure of who I was. She was the pretty and popular one, the confident one, the one with all the social skills. Everyone liked her – from the principal, to the staff and to the students. Everyone wanted to be her friend. I was the painfully shy and quiet one that hardly ventured out of my shell and the few close friends I had. I used to wish I was like her, I wished I had some of her beauty and her popularity. Fortunately, I wasn’t jealous of her and she was a very nice girl, so we got on brilliantly in spite of our obvious different personalities. We were very close friends throughout secondary school days; we had secret codes that only two of us could understand. She was the only person I could willingly allow to read my diary, which is saying a lot as I was quite a guarded person back then.

We remained friends after secondary school. We even went to college together, becoming friends with another girl and together the three of us formed a close knit group. After college I came to the UK to study and she remained in Nigeria, but we still kept in touch. The distance was never a problem, she came over once a year and a simple phone call was all it took for us to resume our friendship where we left off.

Okay, fast forward to last week. I logged onto yahoo messenger and she was online so we started chatting. We had been talking about normal girly stuff for a bit when I mentioned that I cut my hair off cos I wanted to start over and that’s when the conversation changed.

She said: “I don’t have the courage to do half of the things you do”

I was like “What? What things?”

She said: “You do brave things. Like cutting your hair and starting over. I could never do that”

I said: It wasn’t a big deal. I just didn’t like my permed hair anymore”

She said: “It’s not just that. You travel a lot, you eat all kinds of foods when you travel, and you quit your job to become a writer”

I said: “lol, that’s just me becoming more adventurous”

She said: “I wish I was like that. You’re my role model”

I can’t remember what I typed next cos in my mind I was like “REALLY!”

Thinking about our conversation later, something interesting struck me. I couldn’t believe that I had spent a lot time when I was younger wishing I was more like her, but all the while she was wishing she was more like me! It was quite a revelation to me that she could even think of me as her role model, something I had never even imagined myself to be, except maybe to my little sisters.

I’m glad I’m no longer that awkward, insecure teenager. I am now secure in who I am. It’s such a blessing to realise that I am the best person to be. God made me, ME for a reason and I’m not meant to be trying to be anyone else. It’s when I stop trying to be someone else that I appreciate who I am. And that’s when I find out other people want to be like me.

Meeting No Limit, Encouragement, etc.

2009-09-02T23:28:00.000+01:00

Hiya folks! Hope you week has been going great so far. And happy new month- it's already September! Does that mean the year 2009 is almost over? Wow, now that's a scary thought! Where does the time go nowadays?

I've had an interesting couple of days since last week. Last Saturday I attended a friend's (she's a fellow blogger) baby shower and I was introduced to Ms No Limit! It was really great to meet her. She's as bubbly and friendly in person as she sounds on her blog. She's also a great stepper o, don't mess with her on the dance floor, lol. There isn't a dull moment with her, and by the end of the evening, we were chatting away like old friends! It's always nice to put a face to the blog persona and I definitely hope we meet up again! What do you say girl?

Then on Sunday, hubby and I continued with our church-hunting. We have tried five churches so far. I know that sounds weird, but I'm actually enjoying it! It feels nice to be warmly welcomed at the end of every service, given special attention and the ministers try to recruit you to stay with them, all the while saying "Nice to meet you, hope to see you again next Sunday!"

Hubby and I smile politely but make no promises. I was telling my friend the other day that eventually we would settle somewhere, a place where "the Spirit leads us to" but for now, we just haven't decided yet.

I had cranky Bank Holiday Monday, didn't do much at all, even though it was the day everyone else in the UK set aside to have some fun. I tried to get some work done, but I was battling writer's block and raging hormones, so I shut off my laptop and went to read a book under my covers for the most part. But thanks to a good friend, Dr Icepick who encouraged me to get my writing flowing again, even if it didn't make sense at first. He has said he is willing to help other blocked writers, for a small fee (I kid, I kid).

Which leads me on to what I want to say about encouragement. Sometimes we are full of zing and energy and we can take on the world. But there are also times when the burden becomes to heavy, the pressure is mounting, or strength is failing, and you just need someone to get alongside you to encourage you to keep going. I'm very grateful

for friends, bloggers and family members who have been a great source of encouragement to me over the years. Sometimes I need a word of encouragement to lift me up when I'm down, sometimes I need a sharp word to prod me out of my despair.

Simple words like "You can do it!" "Keep Going!" "I believe in you!" are really great for motivating someone, and you never know if it was something you said that gave someone the courage to pursue a dream or fulfil a lifelong ambition! So I would like to say a big big THANK YOU to all of you, my friends and fellow bloggers for your kind words of encouragement. I treasure them, and I pray that God will reward you abundantly in return!

Enjoy the rest of your week!

My Summer Break

2009-08-29T00:19:00.000+01:00

Hey blogville peeps! Just a quick update cos I've been quiet here for a while. I've had a very interesting time in the last six weeks. So much has happened, I don't even know where to start blogging from. So I kept procrastinating until more than a month slipped by! How's it been going on blogville? I've been slacking so much lately, it will take me forever to catch up. I've managed to update my Journey Down the Aisle blog recently, but I haven't been writing much else.

Hubby and I have been travelling to some cities in Europe, then we've had family and friends coming and going because of the summer holidays, there have also been places to go, people to see, four weddings, two birthday parties and all the other social events that increase when the weather is nice. I never thought I would say this, but I really can't wait until the holidays are over and things get back to normal so I can resume my usual routine.

The travelling has been fun though! I've definitely enjoyed lots of quality time for hubby and I to reconnect, away from the pressures of work and everything else. We've been to Eindhoven, Bremen and Paris in the past three weeks, and the lovely memories will last a life time. I finally went on the Eurostar that I had been hearing so much about, finally got to see the Eiffel Tower! Sorry I'm feeling too lazy to sort through the photos and upload them.

When I've had some downtime, I've been catching up on my reading, which is good cos I need to keep myself inspired. I've recently read two fiction novels, The Pirate's Daughter and The Outcast, and two non-fiction books: Love and Respect and One Love, Two Colours (this one I particularly enjoyed cos it was very personal but also thought provoking). It was great to be reading again. In the busyness of everyday I sometimes forget how much I love reading, how good it feels to be so absorbed in a good book that you lose track of time, how much books have the power to change your mind and even challenge your beliefs. I used to enjoy reading books, magazines or newspapers on the commute but now I have to remind myself to pick up a book occasionally.

Anyhoo, God is good o! I'm really grateful to God for His blessings over my life. Sometimes I forget, and I just need to count them again to realise that He really does loves me. Sometimes the enemy tries to magnify my challenges, but I magnify my God in response. The other day, at a family gathering some people were making noises about when hubby and I would have a baby. I just kept a smile on my face and told them I was enjoying myself too much at the moment. They didn't know what to say! lol

I hope you guys have been catching up on the gist on our series In My Dreams It Was Simpler . If you haven't, make sure you head over there right away! The drama is really hotting up!

Have a great weekend and remain favoured.

Church-Hunting, Blog Series

2009-07-17T00:59:00.000+01:00

Hey people! Hope life is going great and you are enjoying the summer sunshine! Is anyone going on holiday somewhere exotic? As for me I've had a very busy couple of weeks. Writing and editing is fun, but it can get frustrating sometimes! I can't complain though, it's my job and I don't think I would love to do anything else :)

I did go for the Caine Prize readings (EC Osondu won- yay! See more info here) and I took some pics, but I'm feeling too lazy to upload them right now. I had a good time though, meeting other writers, listening to the readings and networking afterwards.

So we've been back in London for about two weeks, and settling in quite fine. I need to start finding out about transport links in my area, and useful things like the banks, post office, corner shops and so on. Meanwhile, hubby and I are now looking for a church in the area to attend. Some of our friends have been suggesting one church or the other. So last Sunday, we decided to try a branch of Redeemed not too far away. We were a bit wary, as we haven't attended a Nigerian church for five years and we had gotten used to a very different setting, but we decided to try it. Perhaps just the once, so off we went. Then at the end of the service, hubby asked me what I thought. Honestly? Okay I liked the praise worship and the message was good, but I just felt under a lot of pressure. What pressure, you might ask?

I don't know if it was just me, but I felt the pressure to conform, pressure to fit into a certain "type", pressure that people are watching you and they will immediately judge you based on the most superficial things.

For example, I couldn't help but notice the competitive size-ups I got as soon as I entered the church. Seriously, it was like people looked at hubby and I from head to toe, scrutinising our appearance before deciding if we were worth bothering with or not. Now I may be wrong, but that impression I got was too strong.

Then there was the pressure to "dress up". Don't get me wrong, I like looking good, but Nigerian churches take it to extremes when you feel you have to dress a certain way before you are good enough to appear in church. I've heard the argument so many times over that most people give. "When you want to go and see the queen/go to work, you dress well, so you must dress well too when you want to go and see God". Yeah right, I say. Like God is sooooo impressed by whatever I wear to His presence. He is not like us that judge people based on their outward appearance. I also think that kind of implies God only lives in church, and He is not with me 24/7 which is rubbish. God sees me when I'm in my living room, not dressed to impress and He hasn't told me yet that my outfit is not fit in His presence. LOL

Furthermore, there is the pressure to impress/oppress others. When hubby mentioned his job to someone, the first thing they said was, "Is that the car you drive?" Seriously! I found it quite amusing to be honest. Is that what people do - go out and buy cars they can't afford simply to impress people in church? So church is now where we go to show off our latest acquisitions, whether it's cars, clothes, gadgets and what not. Na wah o!

Apart from the pressures I mentioned, there are also some other minor issues of time-keeping, gossiping, looong messages about giving before the offering and so on that I have with the average Nigerian church. So by the time I put all these things in context, I said to hubby that we should either develop really thick skins or continue church-hunting! Any recommendations, good people of blogville?

If you are not already following our blog series, what are you waiting for? Click to read all the posts so far: In My Dreams, It Was Simpler . Yours truly is writing the post for this week (as Lola), so make sure you check it out and leave a comment! We would all really appreciate it.

Here's a little snippet:

I left Maureen’s flat in disgust. Why are the girls looking at me as if I’m just a trouble maker, lying about Dayo to Titi? I told them Dayo was married, I mean, I saw the photos with my own two eyes. Yet Titi is telling everyone that she went to Dayo’s house and didn’t see any evidence of a woman living there.

That's all folks! Hope you have a great weekend ahead!

Back in the City!

2009-07-04T07:04:00.000+01:00

It's been almost five years since I moved out of London, but I'm back again. When I left, I was a single girl, off to do my Masters in Nottingham. That was September 2004, but now.... how things have changed :-)

We haven't even been in London one week yet and already our bike has been stolen! LOL.
We had padlocked it with a chain to the bike rack in the compound, and yesterday, hubby discovered that both the bike and the chain had vanished. I found it quite amusing, what a nice way for the reality to sink in - Welcome to London! We're now going to have to buy a new bike and a much stronger lock and chain! But apart from that, we are settling in quite fine. I've been unpacking our stuff gradually and I'm almost done now. We don't have our phone, cable and internet connection set up yet. I'm blogging with hubby's mobile broadband that he uses for work so I can't use it for ages. I'll be glad when we've got that sorted.

In the meantime, I'm carrying on with my work and I'm really pleased to be out of the funk I was in a couple of weeks ago. You wouldn't believe what I read in my Word for Today on this past Thursday the 2nd of July -(daily readings)

"So, choose to see it God's way. Let it go. Do what you've been called to do, and watch God vindicate you royally!"

Which was exactly what I had been trying to do since I wrote this post. It's amazing how God speaks into situations that we go through, reassruing and encouraging us to keep going. Otherwise it's easy to get discouraged and lose focus of what is really important, and allow other people to misguide us. Especially when it seems God's way doesn't conform to other people's accepted way of doing things. I just need to remember to trust God, that even when things are not going so smoothly, His plan for me is still the best, and it hasn't changed.

I can't believe it's July already! Like wow, the first half of 2009 has quietly slipped away and we are already in the second half! It sure makes me feel like I blinked and missed it. Anyhow, I'm enjoying the mini-heatwave going on at the moment, and I intend to make the most of it this weekend. I'll be at the South Bank - the London Literature Festival is happening there for the next two weeks. The Caine Prize readings are on Sunday evening (more info on the shortlisted stories and the writers can be found on their website here), and Helon Habila is making an appearance on Monday evening. It should be interesting!

Hope you have a great weekend whatever you do!

FG

Moving...

2009-06-28T03:22:00.000+01:00

Thank you all for your encouraging comments on my last post. I do feel a lot better now, after venting, lol.

For most of last week, hubby and I have been packing and moving our stuff into boxes, tidying up, and clearing out our house. We are just about ready to move out tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to miss our house! I'm still not sure if I'm excited about living in London again, but time will tell :)

Our new flat is not connected to the internet yet, so I'll be offline for a while until we settle in. Hopefully it shouldn't take too long to unpack and get used to the new place. Till then, have a good week, and remain blessed!

I'm Upset

2009-06-24T20:15:00.000+01:00

In the past two weeks I've been feeling rather down and discouraged. I love my family but sometimes they get on my nerves!

It all started when my mum came round to visit for a few days. I suspected something was up when she told me over the phone that she and I had a lot of "important things to discuss". If I had known I would have done all I could to avoid the discussions. But she's my mum, isn't she? I can't exactly ban her from coming to visit me in my house.

So she came, and promptly started talking about babies, or the lack of them in my house. Gosh! I wanted to tell her to shut up, it was that bad. I know she's worried, concerned and what not, but can she please just drop it! It's not up to her, it is something she can't control. Usually when we talk on the phone, I can switch off the conversation when she mentions babies, but I can't exactly shut her off when she's in front of me. She got me so upset that I retreated into my shell and hubby had to ask me what was wrong. When I told him, he promptly went to tell my mum to stop bothering me. But by then I was already very upset.

*sigh*

That wasn't all, oh no. She kept asking me about "when I would start working again". I explained I am working, the fact that I work from home doesn't mean I'm idle. But she kept going on and on. Especially when hubby and I told her we would be moving back to London soon. She and my aunt just said, "Oh good! So you can start working again!"

*shaking my head*

I got so tired of explainingto everyone, I actually got quite depressed. I even started considering taking a job again, just so that they can shut up and get off my back. By the time my mum left, she had done a fairly decent job of making me feel like a failure. But I came to my senses after praying about it and God helped to see things clearly again.

Oh dear God, please help me to shut out negative voices and focus on what You have called me to do.

Blog Series, Other Stuff

2009-05-27T01:46:00.000+01:00

Hi all! Hope your week is going great. I've had a mad combination of writing, research and frustrating driving lessons, in the last 10 days. Writing has been generally productive, but I still feel I should be doing more (more FG, more!) to feel a sense of achievement. Apart from that, my driving lessons have been hilarious. The instructor is a very funny middle-aged Scottish bloke. When I told him I was a writer, the first thing he said was: "you better not write about me". I didn't promise him anything though - lol.

I've just finished reading Chimamanda's collection of short stories, "The Thing Around Your Neck". My sister gave it to me as a birthday present (thanks sis!). It seemed to me that some of the stories ended rather abruptly, and I'll need a Phd to understand some other ones, but overall, I really enjoyed reading them. I'm waiting now for that next novel...

Hubby and I are off to Denmark tomorrow morning, just for a couple of days. It's one of those places in Europe that you don't hear much about, but when you scratch the surface, the cities, people and culture start to look interesting and you want to explore. I'll bring back Danish Butter Cookies and packs of Legos. I'll also be on the look out for ghost of old vikings, wearing horned hats, lol.

And finally please check out a new blog, put together by me and seven other great bloggers! It's a new blog series called In My Dreams, It Was Simpler and we will be needing your comments, suggestions and other feedback!

Thanks and have a great week!

The Blank Page

2009-05-15T22:35:00.000+01:00

You know the one.

When you pick up your pen to write in your notebook. Or open a new Microsoft Word document and you are faced with a white, blank sheet of paper.

Some days when I pick up my pen to write, the words come tumbling out, the ideas keep flowing, I'm on a roll and my arm aches to catch up with the speed at which my brain is churning out words. But that's actually the exception. Most other days, I spend ages staring at the blank sheet of paper, willing something to happen. Sometimes I manage to scrape a few sentences together, but sometimes I give up after a few torturous hours.

Someone asked me recently, "do you schedule some time to write each day, or do you wait for the inspiration to come and then write when you feel like it?"

Good question. If I had to wait for inspiration all the time, then I would hardly ever get anything done. So most times I have to grit my teeth and force myself to write something, anything.

Or to put it another way, as I read in the "Writing a Novel and Getting Published for Dummies" book (paraphrased):

As a writer, you must realise that the blank page is not your friend. The blank page is scary, and it is your enemy. Cover your pages with words. If you force yourself to write 1000 words everyday, in a month you would have written 30,000 words. Words which you can edit and correct later. Remember, you cannot edit a blank page.

That's a lesson for Favoured Girl.

Have a great weekend all!

Thank You!

2009-05-14T22:00:00.000+01:00

A big thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday either on my blog, on on facebook or phone calls, texts and so on. God bless you all!

I had a really great day from beginning to end. I spent most of the morning and afternoon chilling with hubby and receiving calls. He waited on me, cooked breakfast, gave me nice presents and all. Awww.

Later in the day, we got dressed and went out to meet up with friends for dinner. It was so nice to celebrate with close friends, including hubby and my lil sis. Lovely birthday I had, with good food, great drinks, fantastic company and engaging discussions :-)

I had a very special guest there too - our one and only Believer! It was sooo nice to finally meet her, she's a beautiful person inside and out. It didn't feel like we were just meeting each other, it was as if we have been friends for ages, which we kind of are, via blogger, facebook and telephone calls. We even found out that we live in the same estate in Lagos! Now that's amazing - (girl when next you are off to Lagos, I'm coming along!) She brought me some lovely birthday presents too, including a book titled "How Not to Write a Novel". lol! What can I say, she's beautiful, sweet, smart and she's got a great sense of humour. Babe, we'll definitely meet up again soon!

So I had a great start to my new year, and I look forward to accomplishing a lot more in the next twelve months. So that in another year's time I can look back and say I've had the best year ever. I want to move forward in my relationship with God, progress in my career, become a more loving person and reflect Jesus more and more. So help me God!

xxx

Adding Another Year

2009-04-30T22:47:00.000+01:00

You know you are getting old when a fourteen year-old is shocked you know who Ciara is. Two young friends of mine were talking about music videos and one of them was trying to remember the name of the singer who released a song featuring Justin Timbalake recently. When I helpfully suggested it was Ciara, she looked at me in surprise and asked: "How did you know?" .... and I'm like, why shouldn't I know? Silly girl. lol

It's my birthday this weekend, so I do know I'm getting older. I've been in a bit of a reflective mood lately, it seems that life moves so fast nowadays and I need to hurry up to catch up with the days. On a good note, I'm feeling really positive too, because I am definitely growing more mature everyday. It might sound funny but I know I'm a much wiser person now, than I was a year ago. I've learnt many lessons in the past twelve months and I'm still learning more. Bring on the wisdom!

I'm very thankful to God for adding another year to my life. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, I'm very happy with who I am and where I am at the moment. I have everything I need: I have God, my family, my health, my friends, enough money to meet my needs, abundant joy and peace of mind. And I also know I have a bright future ahead of me! So I have reasons to give thanks.

On that note, I'm going to celebrate this weekend with hubby, my lil sis and a few friends. Will have a drink on you all! xx

Have a great Bank Holiday weekend!

Honest Scrap Award - 10 Things Meme...

2009-04-22T01:14:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Justdoyin and Afronuts, I have received the Honest Scrap Award, thanks a lot guys!

Here are the instructions I have to follow:

1. You must brag about the award

2. You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger

3. You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

4. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Blog Award.

5. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!

So here goes ten honest things about myself (gosh I did the 30 things about me recently, sigh!)

1) I'm currently reading, of all things, a book called "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing A Novel". I picked it up over the weekend and I've had fun reading it so far. Who says you can't learn something new from a foolishly titled book?

2) Recently I developed a craving for spaghetti carbonara that I can't explain. I have eaten it six times in the past week already.

3) I have never gotten drunk.

4) I'm addicted to ASOS. Help, they've taken all my money!

5) I'm ashamed to admit I'm a secret fan of the Pussycat Dolls

6) Sometimes I'm amazed by how God awswers my questions before I even ask Him

7) I have a bad habit of not finishing the projects I started or having a good idea and letting it go to waste. I'm on a mission to change this flaw.

8) I need to get fit again, without spending hours and money at the gym. (Summer is coming and I'm eyeing a nice dress!)

9) I can't wait to get Chimamanda's new book "The Thing Around Your Neck". It's been getting great reviews everywhere and I'm excited. (Check it out on amazon)

10) I have sudden flashes of childhood nostalgia sometimes. I think I'm growing old and longing for the days of playing ludo or snakes and ladders with my friends.

There, all done! I'm supposed to tag seven people, but I'm sure this award has gone round already. But if you haven't done it yet, feel free to tag me as the giver!

Hope you enjoy the rest of the week!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T17:36:00.000+01:00

Happy Easter! I hope you guys are having a great time during this season. I have been enjoying myself too, relaxing and feeling a bit guilty for eating so much chocolates. I promise to be a good girl when the season is over.

In the meantime, here's a reminder of the the reason why we celebrate Easter:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.(John 3:16-17)

Yep, Jesus is the reason. And Jesus is Alive!

During the Easter service in my church today, I was struck again by how relevant the Easter message is, both to me and the whole world. It was as if the message became clearer, even though I must have heard it hundreds of times. If Jesus did not come to earth, if Jesus did not die for me on the cross, and if Jesus did not conquer death and rise again, then all Christians are wasting their time. Because that would mean we believe in a huge lie or conspiracy. It would mean there's no point in trying to live right here on earth. it would mean there would be no Resurrection after this life. No hope of a life afterwards, spend with God in eternity.

But if He did come to earth, performed miracles, died on the cross and rose up again, then that's good news! Actually, it's more than good news: it's life-changing news! It means He loves me and sacrificed himself for me. It means He has taken away my punishment for sin. It means I have a hope and a future, not only in this life, but in the one to come. It means I have victory over sin and death. It means I have an assurance that the same spirit that raised Jesus from the grave, is living in me and able to help me accomplish all that God has in store for me. That's exciting isn't it? I am excited to share this good news with everyone who reads my blog! It's not something you can sit on the fence about, you either believe in the Easter story or you don't. But I'm a living witness, Jesus is real, He is alive and He has saved me :)

I was listening to a programme on the radio on Friday, a debate between some scientists and Christians. They were talking about historical and scientific evidence that Jesus did actually live on earth, He died and was buried, but He was later seen again by over 500 people. They also mentioned the historical origins of Easter, and how it was originally a pagan festival until the Christians started celebrating Christ's resurrection about the same time. It was an interesting debate and I learnt a few interesting facts, but nothing changes the fact that I believe in Jesus, His death and Resurrection.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the break and the coming week!

Owe Me An Explanation?

2009-03-27T20:23:00.000Z

Hey people, hope you all have had a great week. I've had a fairly productive week, but don't ask me what I did. Okay, I'll confess now, I won't be able to make my initial deadline (sob!), so I've had to put it back a bit more. Although having set one did spur me on a lot, and helped me to focus intensely for a few weeks. I stayed up till odd hours of the morning writing and typing throughout last week. At the moment, my body clock is totally out of sync with the rest of the world. Last night I woke up at 10.30pm and went to bed at 5.30am, only to wake up again this morning at 7.20am! God dey sha, He is my strength so I can achieve what I have set out to do.

I was looking through the Blogville Awards blog a few days ago, and came across this post about former bloggers. People who, for one reason or another, have stopped blogging completely or have made their blogs private. On one level, I understand that blogging is an essentially personal choice and nobody is compelled to keep a blog, or update it regularly, or even invite other people to read it. However, looking through that list, I felt like I had gotten to know these people that I had never met, and I missed them. We used to read and comment on each other's blogs, we shared laughs and sorrows, we were part of the Nigerian bloggers' family. I felt like they owed me and their other readers an explanation for quitting. In some way, they were obliged to keep their blogs going because they had given us a glimpse of their lives and kept us wanting more. It's like having a friend who suddenly cuts you off without any explanations.

It's the same thing I feel when I learn that my favourite character is leaving a show, or my favourite band is splitting up. Even though it's their choice and their career, it's tempting to ask "Why? Stay, please don't leave!" or "Don't split up the group!". Even if the TV show carries on without them or the group members go on and try to forge solo music careers, things will never be the same again. For example, I loved Destiny's Child as a group, but I don't particularly care for any of them as solo artists. Strange huh?

On to other gist, it's my mum's birthday today and I'm really grateful to God for her life. She is fully back to good health now and it's truly a miracle. When I called her this morning she said she was thanking God and looking forward to opening her presents and cooking up a storm for a get-together in the evening. I laughed, wished her happy birthday and then called my grandma to congratulate her too.

As for me, I'm having a chilled out weekend, doing some work and generally loafing around. I can't wait for summer to arrive. It feels like this is the longest winter ever! Have a wonderful, relaxing weekend everyone!

Life, Death and After

2009-03-19T17:28:00.000Z

Today I am reminded just how unpredictable this life is. Most of us hope and expect that we would live long enough to see our children and grandchildren. We think we can always count on there being another day called 'tomorrow'. But who really knows how long we are here for? Who can estimate how much time we've got left to spend on earth?

Case in point: Mr X woke up this morning, he had breakfast, said goodbye to his wife and kids, went to work as normal, and suddenly his wife gets a phone call, "Mrs X? I'm afraid your husband has been involved in a fatal accident...." and things never remain the same. Even if it is not an accident, it could be an illness. Right now I can mention two people who have been battling cancer and the doctors have told them that there is nothing more they can do.

Some weeks ago I read a book called "The Shock of Your Life" by Adrian Holloway, about three teenagers who died in an accident. The story follows each of them on an imaginary journey of what happens to them after they are dead. Reading this book made me think about death in a different way. When somebody dies, we grieve, we make preparations for a funeral, we bury them, pray that they rest in peace and carry on with our lives. But what happens to the dead person? The book attempts to cover some of these questions and you can read more on their website.

As a Christian, I believe that death is not the end, it is a separation from earth and current relationships, but there's more. I believe that Jesus Christ conquered death on the cross, and I have accepted Him into my life, then I am sure that after I die, I will see Him again. I will go to heaven and live with Him there for eternity. It doesn't mean that the prospect of death is not scary but I have this confidence that I have a far more wonderful experience after I leave earth.

Being conscious of what happens when I die means I am now more aware of how I live. If this world is all there is to life, then we can do whatever we like, live our lives without any obligations to anybody, satisfy ourselves with all the pleasures we can think of, etc. But if I know that my choices and actions here on earth will determine where I spend eternity, then it's up to me to ensure that I live right, according to God's principles. And I am ready to face Him, even if my life ends today.

So if I asked you: where would you be after you die, what would your answer be?

Reflection

2009-03-07T17:00:00.000Z

I look up into the sky

I see a dark blanket

Twinkling with hundreds of white dots

I also see the moon

Glowing silently but with pride

Knowing that even though

It has got

No light of its own

It reflects the light of one

Brighter that it

With this reflected light

It rules the night sky

Not even the stars can compete

It makes me pause and think

I have no glory of my own

I cannot shine by myself

But if I allow my emptiness

To be filled with God’s grace

My weakness

To be replaced with His strength

And my struggles

Be replaced with His ability

I would start to shine

Not of my own

But as a reflection of Him

Never a Bridesmaid

2009-03-05T22:00:00.000Z

I've just read Vera's current post and it occured to me that I've never been a bridesmaid too! Ever! I guess that's because I was a bride first.... hmmm....but there's no rule that says married ladies can't be bridesmaids is there?

So instead of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride", my own issue is quite the opposite - I've been the bride, never the bridesmaid!

I know there's a lot of stress involved, there are outfits to buy, accesories to coordinate, a bridezilla to deal with, a bridal shower to plan and all that, but I want to experience it all, at least once!

Okay I need to do something quickly to rectify this... let me start contacting all my friends getting married in the next few months. Then I need to start praying for my other single friends to meet their husbands really soon so I can be asked to be a bridesmaid.

Ok, I'm off to do just that.

I'll be right back.

Mixed Gists

2009-02-20T22:13:00.000Z

How's it going bloggers and readers? I hope you've had a great week, whether you've been at work or at school battling the approaching deadlines. Even if it hasn't been a particularly good one, at least it's over now and you can look forward to a happier, relaxing weekend. Plan something fun for yourself, or just unwind with your favourite pleasures - whether that is shoe shopping, a tub of ice-cream or a good book.

I've had quite an eventful week, starting last valentine weekend. Hubby and I usually go out for dinner on valentine's day but this time we decided to stay in instead. In the morning, we exchanged gifts, cards and kisses -and in the evening, I made us a nice home-cooked three course meal. Hubby loved it a lot and said my cooking was better than any restaurant meal he had eaten! That's great, cos that means I'll experiment a bit more and surprise him with another fancy meal soon. So that's how I spent my valentine's day and I couldn't have wished for anything better :)

I got back into the swing of things with my writing this week and made progress which I'm pleased about. I still feel like I'm going much slower than I want to so I've set myself a deadline of March 30th to finish the first draft of my novel. (By God's Grace!) There, now that I've put that date on this blog, I hope I'll have the added incentive to accomplish it!

I've been missing my baby sister all week. (She's not really a baby anymore, but I'm four years older than her - so even when she's 60 she'll still be my little sister). I really need to give her a call soon, I've run out of excuses and yahoo messenger just doesn't cut it anymore. Besides, I have this feeling that she needs to talk to me, just as much as I need to talk to her. Isn't it funny when you call someone for no reason, there's usually something important happening in their lives that they need to tell you?

Something else came up this week, hubby got a new job - yay! I'm really proud of him and thrilled with his progress. This new job is based in London though - so- you guessed it! We might have to move back into London soon. Now, me and London have a funny love/hate relationship. I moved out of London in 2004 and have quite happily settled into a cosy arrangement where I visit London once in a while to do what I need but don't have to deal with all the hassle of living there. It's a useful place - lots of friends and family live there, I can get access to Nigerian food shops, my writing class and most networking events happen in Central London, I used to work there, etc etc. But there are downsides too, which I'm not looking forward to. Anyway we'll see how it goes. Hubby doesn't start the job until the end of April so we've got time to sort ourselves out. Time enough for me to get over my reservations.

I'm planning to have a quiet and productive weekend, fingers crossed! I'm reading a book at the moment, The Evidence Against Her which is something very different from what I usually read, but it's interesting and I hope I learn lots of useful stuff from it. Have a great weekend too, whatever you do!

Random Things About Me

2009-02-09T23:04:00.000Z

I got tagged to write this note on facebook - 25 things about me - so I'm putting them up here as well. Enjoy!

1) I’m very shy and quiet when I’m in a crowd of unfamiliar people. But with my close friends, I’m playful and talkative.

2) I process information for weeks. For example, I could watch a movie on Monday, and still be analysing every scene a week later. Or I could read a book and be thinking of an alternative ending to the story 2 months later.

3) I'm such a keeper. I hold on to emails, letters, text messages and birthday cards for as long as possible. I still have letters my friends wrote to me when we were in secondary school, birthday cards from three years ago and more.

4) I would rather spend money on experiences like travelling, enjoying good food, going to see plays and shows than buying stuff. I think life is for living, not for accumulating material things that only depreciate. For example, I would rather spend £2000 on a nice holiday than on the latest “IT” bag.

5) I love listening to music. Even when I'm working, I have to have some kind of music playing in the background, or in my head. Can't stand absolute silence.

6) I learn songs quickly. I can hear a song twice and learn all the lyrics off by heart. Sometimes this is good, because people are impressed when I know the latest songs off by heart already. Sometimes it is annoying because I pick up songs that I don't even want to.

7) I try to avoid getting addicted to anything. When I realise I have started liking something too much, I stop doing it immediately.

8) I have a terrible sweet tooth. I love things like ice-cream, chocolates, yoghurt hmmmm.... Never put me and cake alone in the same room.

9) I am a night owl by nature. That explains why I’m awake at 2.43am typing this. That also explains why I hated the 9 – 5 work routine.

10) I recently cut all my hair and decided to start over. I realised perms and weaves don’t work for me.

11) I can be so disorganised, procrastinating with work even when I have deadlines fast approaching.

12) I have a very low boredom threshold. (I’m already getting tired of this meme).

13) I am very loyal to the people I really care about.

14) I have just started learning how to drive. Hey, better late than never!

15) I admire naturally fashionable and stylish people but I’m quite clueless with throwing things together and coming up with a striking outfit. Who can help a sister out?

16) I love reading books and magazines. My dream holiday would be: sun, sand, sea and a heap of good reading material.

17) I'm very indecisive but I can be very stubborn once I’ve made up my mind.

18) I absolutely hate feeling guilty. I would go out of my way to avoid upsetting anyone, and if I have then I’ll apologise at once.

19) The worst thing a person can do is to betray my trust.

20) I’m not really a TV person. I don’t watch many shows because they require commitment to follow. And I don’t like watching the news; most of it is depressing stuff anyway.

21) I’m obsessed with my kitchen and bathroom. I don’t care much if every other room in the house is untidy but I can’t stand a dirty kitchen or bathroom.

22) I like cooking and trying new recipes. Dear hubby gets to eat all my experiments – good or bad ;)

23) I usually spend ages brushing my teeth, often more than thirty minutes. (Totally random, yeah?) Well, actually that’s because I’m daydreaming at the same time.

24) I love photography – just haven’t found the time and commitment to focus on it.

25) I love God and I’m complete in Him.

I thought I should throw in a few extras:

26) I love travelling! I love the planning, the anticipation, and the excitement of discovering a new place, a new culture, trying new food, etc! And I love taking photographs and collecting souvenirs. *Sigh* If I could get a job as a travel writer, that would be just perfect.

27) I love seafood - give me shrimp, prawns, mussells, squid, scallops etc over chicken or beef any day. When I eat out I check for seafood on the menu first.

28) I'm a gadget girl. I love getting a new gadget and getting to grips with it, reading the instruction manual and what not.

29) I really want to learn a foreign language - French, Spanish and Italian top my list.

30) I'm still not sure if I want to have kids..... Oops, did I just type that, the in-laws mustn't read this...

YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED IF YOU READ THIS!!

More Life Lessons

2009-02-05T00:05:00.000Z

I've learnt to appreciate the peace of mind that comes from God.

I've learnt that other people deserve to be forgiven when they upset me.

I've learnt not to let the sun go down on my anger.

I've learnt that what matters is not really my comfort, but what I have been called to do.

I've learnt that I need to let go of my pride.

I've learnt that I need to be more patient.

I've learnt that I cannot expect to live without God's strength.

I've learnt that money is good, but it should not be abused.

I've learnt that I am inherently selfish and I need God to help me deal with that.

I've learn that I can't or shouldn't even try to hide from God.

I've learnt that even when I don't understand the situations I find myself, God is still in control.

I've learnt that I need God's grace to carry out the tasks ahead of me.

I've learnt that I have been called to serve others, not the other way round.

I've learnt that God is never late, He's always on time.

I've learnt again, that God is faithful even when I'm not.

I've learnt that God is absolutely crazy about me!

Who would like to know the story behind the whole list of lessons I've been learning? lol. I had been having a rough time in the week and a half, feeling angry and disappointed with God, stressed out and tense, etc. At the beginning of the year, I prayed that I didn't want to fall sick this year. And guess what? I went down with the flu last week, just at the time when my parents-in-law were coming to stay with us!

It wasn't my best week, I can tell you that. I was stressed out, tense and worrying over every little detail. And to make matters worse, hubby and I had a series of arguments that had no head and no tail, which is very unusual because we hardly ever argue.

I got fed up of feeling awful yesterday morning and decided to have a lengthy conversation with God. And while searching for answers to all the many questions in my heart, God really spoke to me and reminded me that all I needed was His strength. But most of all, He restored my peace of mind and my joy.

Meanwhile January, the first month of 2009 is gone! Did I blink and miss it? lol. I have a few things to accomplish this month, mostly to do with my writing, so I will start working harder on it. I don't want to wake up and realise it's April and I'm still making excuses for my slow progress. I updated my writing blog today so please check it out and leave a comment. Thanks!

I wish you a really great month of February!

Ghana Trip

2009-01-28T22:00:00.000Z

I finally got round to writing this post, after procrastinating for weeks. It's been sitting around in my drafts for a while, but I must warn you though, it's quite a long post.

When my dad suggested to my sisters and I that we should visit Ghana during our holidays, we were all really excited and up for it. I thought it was a great idea because I hadn’t visited any other African country before, and it would give me a chance to meet up with my friend from uni, who was also home in Accra for the Christmas break. Initially, I thought we were going to fly, but my dad suggested we should take the car instead. After some persuasion, I thought it would be fun. The whole journey took us about 12 hours – going from Lagos to Accra, and then another couple of hours to get to Elmina, a historical town along the coast. We stayed in Elmina for two nights and then spent another night in Accra.

Our journey began early in the morning at 7.00am. We wanted to set out of Lagos early so that we could get to Ghana before night. Our first stop was at a petrol station to fill our tank to the brim, then we headed towards Badagry. It took us about two hours to get to Seme, which is the border between Nigeria and Benin Republic. The border was bustling with people, as travellers mingled with traders and hawkers. There was also a brisk trade in currency exchange going on, as people needed different currencies to trade between borders. Crossing the border was relatively smooth. We had to get some documents to take the car out of the country, then customs officials asked to check our luggage and made a few other checks and within thirty minutes, we passed through “no man’s land” (which is the small space between the two official borders) and crossed into Benin Republic.

It was my first time entering another African country and I was curious so I paid attention as the car drove into Cotonou. The first thing I noticed was that there didn’t seem to be as many flashy cars on the road in Benin, compared with Lagos. All the cars we saw were small or moderate cars. We saw the usual mobile phone networks – Glo, MTN and the like – had a big presence in Benin too, with recharge cards sold at road sides. We were surprised when we saw ladies riding bikes! But our driver explained that in Benin, bikes are not just for public transport, people also used motorbikes as their means of private transportation.

The public riders wear a visibility vest to distinguish them from private riders. They also have a lane for bikes on their roads which is really useful, so they don’t run into the path of cars, like the riders do in Lagos. Apart from that, the only other notable difference was the French language. I could take a photo in Cotonou and if you didn’t know, you would not be able to tell that I was outside Nigeria.

We journeyed on, passing through Cotonou and driving towards the other side of the country. We passed a number of small towns and villages on the way. Our journey through Benin was relatively uneventful, we ate snacks we bought at the border and watched the countryside as we drove by. The next border we had to cross was the Benin-Togo border. Again, we had to go through the documentation checks, the driver had to fill out paperwork for the car and so on. While we were waiting, I started to take photos, but I was told that it was illegal to take photos at the border and if an official saw me, my camera would be seized! I promptly put my camera and snap-happy finger away until we had crossed into Togo. Here are some photos I managed to take:
Togo is quite a small country and it took us less than an hour to get across it. We drove mostly along the coastline and we could see the Atlantic ocean and the nice beaches.

We soon got to the Togo-Ghana border and again had to go through a time-consuming process of getting paperwork for the car, then customs checked our luggage again. Eventually we were clear to go and we got into the border town of Aflao. The road was a bit rough for a few miles but it was under constriction so we soon left the bad bit behind and enjoyed a smooth ride into Accra. We passed by several police and customs check points on the way, checking that we had the right documentations, and checking our luggage time and time again. I have to say though, that I thought the police in Ghana had a friendly attitude that Nigerian ones don’t have!

We took a short break before we entered into Accra, stopping at a filling station to stretch our feet and buy a few snacks from the small supermarket. My sister had an MTN sim card, and we had been told it would work in Ghana so we had loaded it with enough credit before we left home. We were glad and surprised to realise that it cost less to call Nigeria from Ghana, than making calls within Nigeria!

Around 7pm we got into Accra, just before it started getting dark. We drove past Accra Mall (the equivalent of Palms Mall in Lagos), the Presidential residence, a busy market (I can’t remember the name) and a few other places of interest. I noticed that the traffic was orderly, the streets of Accra were very clean, all the traffic lights worked, and there were very few bikes on the roads. We didn’t stop because we still had a journey of almost 130 kilometres to cover before we get to Elmina. Some photos of Accra:

We arrived at Elmina around 9pm, by this time it was already dark so we couldn't see much of the coastal town. We went straight to our hotel, where we checked in. We were given the family suite which was really nice. We all had a shower and ordered dinner from the restaurant. The menu was good – we had fried rice with a really nice chicken and vegetable stew, as well as beans and fried plantain. After dinner, my sisters and I started watching a Nollywood movie but before long, we turned it off and went to bed.

The next morning, we got up bright and early and had breakfast in a nice chalet by the beach, which was part of the resort we were staying in. Some photos of the resort:

We left the resort with my dad’s friend who is a tour operator, to see the main attraction in this part of Ghana which is Elmina Castle. It’s one of the many forts built by the Portuguese when they first came to Africa to establish trade links. But in the 17th century it became a depot for the transatlantic slave trade and its dungeons housed many slaves captured from all over West Africa to be shipped to the Americas. (You can read more about the castle and it's history here).

We were taken round the castle by a tour guide. The tour included a history of the castle and its links with the slave trade. It was a very informative experience for me personally because although I had heard a lot about the slave trade, seeing the castle and images in the museum really brought it to life. It seemed almost impossible to believe that such things actually happened but the evidence was right there for us to see.

After the tour at Elmina, we went to the museum to see some of the items and exhibits of the town and the slave trade era. We left Elmina Castle, and took a short drive to Cape Coast to see Cape Coast Castle too. This castle was also purpose built for the slave trade and one fact that the tour guide pointed out to us was that the castle had dungeons for male slaves on one level and a church right above it! In those days, the slave masters still attended church services and called themselves Christians. I was wondering what they did to silence their conscience and perpetuate such wicked acts against their fellow human beings. I spent quite a long time in the museum at Cape Coast castle digesting a lot of information about the slave trade and its impact on Africa and history. There was a lot more information and artifacts at Cape Coast than Elmina Castle, but if anyone is interested in the history, I would recommend a tour of both. Here are some pics I took at Cape Coast:

I won't bore you with all the other grisly details that I saw and heard about during the tour of both castles, but its a trip I would recommend to everyone who wants to know more about Black history. At the end of that day, my sister mentioned that it made her appreciate the presidency of Barack Obama even more.

The rest of our holiday went well, the next day we visited Fort St. Jago before we left Elmina and went to Accra. We had fun in Accra, hanging out with two of our friends who took us to lunch, a short tour of the city and chilled out in a nice bar afterwards. By the time we got back to our hotel it was very late. And because we had to get up early in the morning, we decided to call it a night.

The next morning, we packed our stuff into the car and began the long drive back to Lagos. In all, it was a lovely experience and I would definitely visit Ghana again, but next time I'll fly!

On This Day....

2009-01-20T23:15:00.000Z

... I watched, along with millions of people around the world as Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America.

I was glued to CNN all day, from about five hours before the inauguration was due to begin. I watched as the crowds gathered and the mood was jubilant, people were talking about witnessing a historic moment, the CNN reporters were saying they had never seen anything like it, Americans from all over the country, all colours, all ages, rich and poor had come to see their new president take the oath of office. Several people had also come from all over the world - from the UK, Europe, even as far as Australia and the Middle East.

I agree it has been a really great day in history. Obama has made history. For generations to come, thousands of school children will read about him in their history books. College students will research his campaign and quote his speeches in essays. He will be remembered as the first African American to take the position of President of the United States. People will point to him and say "I can achieve the impossible".

For now, we wait and see how his administration will unfold. Personally, I don't envy him one bit. The weight of expectations on his shoulders is immense. He is carrying the hopes of his country and far beyond. He will be scrutinised and criticised at every turn. Already people are saying they were disappointed with his inaugural speech. No doubt he is a strong leader, but at the end of the day, he can't please everyone so some people will be disappointed. I'm not an American, but even I am crossing my fingers for him, willing him to succeed and exceed the expectations of the American people. Tonight the party continues, but tomorrow, Obama and his team will have to roll up their sleeves and get to work, delivering on all those promises he made. But I can bet that the next four years will be anything but dull.

In all this, commentators are saying Obama won because he was able to capture the hearts and minds of the younger generation. He was able to inspire people to trust him for the change they desperately wanted. I'm praying that such a leader will rise in Nigeria too. Obama has taught us that we can expect a whole lot more from our leaders. We should now see that we need leaders who can inspire a whole nation. We need leaders that we can believe in. We need leaders to change the old ways of doing things. And we need leaders who will lead with the interests of their followers at heart. God help us...

So as a new day dawns for the world, I say to everyone witnessing it - congrats! Hope we all take some lessons from these events, from the man and from the moment.

PS: I know I was supposed to do a post on my trip to Ghana but I had been so out of it with blogville. But look! Obama got me blogging again - lol! I'll be back with the update and photos soon, I promise.

Trip Summary and Observations

2009-01-09T23:56:00.000Z

Hey guys! Hope you've all had a great week and a wonderful start to the year. I think I need something to jolt me back into reality. I've been back from Lagos since last Wednesday but it seems my brain is still in holiday mode. It's been slow to get back into my usual routine, well until yesterday. A friend came to stay the night, so I had to get up and get active.

I've got lots of stuff to do. I feel like I carried over most of my goals from 2008, so I have to step up my gear a bit with accomplishing my targets. I have a few new goals for this year though, one of which is to finally start driving in the UK! Here's hoping I achieve that. I started the process last year but I got distracted towards the end of the year. I also want to take my writing up another notch, aim to finish my first novel this year and start working on a second one. But one thing at a time.... I still have a way to go with catching up on my favourite blogs and entries from the last three weeks, so I'll be back in full mode next week.

I had a great time in Lagos with family and friends. My schedule was really tight so unfortunately I didn't get to meet any bloggers like I did last year. I attended a few sallah parties, two weddings, the Farafina literary event (where I met Chimamanda - yay!!) a friend's bbq, two Christmas parties and organised a get-together with my sisters. Add to that, meeting up with friends, reunions, and a trip to Ghana, all adding up to a busy time. It was lovely though, doing everything in the searing heat of Lagos. As soon as we got off the plane, myself and my fellow passengers didn't waste time in shedding all the coats, sweaters and other layers of clothing. It was a relief to go out of the house without checking the weather report first. I tell you, being back in the cold weather is not fun! Since I got back, I have hardly gone out in the last week, apart from the very necessary trips to the supermarket and post office. Even when I do, I have to wrap up in so many layers. The contrast is so amazing.

Fortunately for me, I didn't have the huge culture shock I experienced in 2007 but sometimes I saw things that struck me as odd about the culture in Nigeria. When I point out something, I get strange looks from people.

One thing that became really obvious to me was the way people in Nigeria regard cars as the ultimate status symbol. I found it strange that in church people give testimonies about how God has just blessed them with a brand new car. Or people count cars as part of their assets, for example, "that man is very rich, he has five cars". Companies also reward their employees with cars as part of their remuneration package. On the roads, scores of new flashy cars abound, and it seemed to me that people would rather drive around a flashy car than eat good food or live in a fine house. Somebody even told me that the kind of car you drive determines the amount of respect you get wherever you go. I found this strange but amusing, because to me, a car is just a vehicle to get you from one place to the other. As long as it works we're good to go. I guess it's a Nigerian thing!

Something else I noticed was when I go into people's houses, the living room is usually very well kept, nicely decorated and tidy. But the kitchen and the loo/bathroom is usually a totally different story! I don't get it. Why would you not want every room in your house to be presentable. It's as if people forget that guests also see other parts of your house, not just your living room. Personally I'm even more particular about my kitchen and bathroom than I am about any other room in the house. But that may just be me.

I was looking forward to attending church again, because I had missed the lively and bubbly praise worship sessions in Pentecostal churches, something I don't get in my church in the UK. But when I went to church I couldn't help but compare the different styles of teachings. After the service I didn't feel inspired or empowered at all. I felt like somebody had just shouted some instructions at me from the bible, with no explanation of how I was supposed to become a better Christian. I felt like I was expected to meet those high standards on my own. I also got the feeling that the leaders of the church carried themselves as if they were a little higher than the members so I could never hope to be one of them unless I attain a certain level of perfection. Now I may be wrong but those were the things that struck me.

Amusingly, I knew what to expect with stuff like making rapid, and I mean rapid telephone calls, NEPA and their frequent power cuts, the traffic in Lagos and the delightful mosquitoes. I just prepared myself mentally before hand. Still, a trip to Nigeria is never without its surprises. I'll talk more about that, and my trip to Ghana in the next post.

Hope you have a really nice weekend.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T22:44:00.000Z

I'm back!

Happy New Year 2009 folks! I'm grateful to God for bringing us through year 2008! It was an interesting year and I look forward to a wonderful and exciting 2009! I pray that we all experience peace, joy, perfect health, success in all our endeavours, realise our goals and draw closer to God in 2009.

I had a great time in Nigeria over the last three weeks, I didn't want it to end! But I was missing hubby so I couldn't stay away forever ;) and I arrived back home last night.

My trip was quite eventful, we even managed to squeeze in a four-day trip to Ghana, which was lovely. I'll get down to writing all about it, and sorting out my photos as soon as I'm settled in. Right now I'm reuniting with hubby and acclimatising to the cold weather again. Sigh, Nigeria was so hot! I had been hearing that this has been the worst winter in recent history and I was so dreading it.

I'll be back with a proper update soon, in the meantime I wish you all a very blessed week, month and year!

Off to Lagos

2008-12-06T00:49:00.000Z

I'm in a real hurry as I type this. I'm travelling to Nigeria in less than 24 hours and I still have a ton of packing to do, all while trying not to carry excess luggage. Hubby is laughing at me at the moment because I tend to stuff too much into my boxes and then start worrying that I'll be charged for extras at the check-in desk.

I was ill last week, which was the last thing I needed because I hadn't started shopping, packing or getting ready for my trip. I couldn't do anything for two days. Doctor came round, said it was a virus and gave me a load of pills to chew on. I'm feeling much better now but I have to be careful not to stress myself too much. I cycled out yesterday and I started feeling dizzy so I'm definitely not pulling that stunt again until I feel 100 percent.

I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends again, and also a few bloggers. I also have four weddings and two reunions lined up already so I know I'm going to be out and about a lot. It should be fun! Well, anything to escape the freezing cold going on here at the moment :)

I'll be in Nigeria until early in the new year. I'll try to update my blog while I'm away but I can't guarantee that. So I'll just wish everyone a very happy month of December, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in Advance. (It's surreal to think that 2008 is almost over isn't it?)

I'll bring back goodwill, photos and gists :)

Later, friends!

I Believe In God

2008-12-01T12:04:00.000Z

I believe in God for many reasons, I don't even know where to start listing them.

God is the very reason why I breathe, why I exist and why I live. The whole world is in His hands. He made the planets, the sun, moon and stars. He created every living being and they are all for His glory.

God is the very foundation on which my life rests, without Him, I am nothing. He created me, formed me and knew me even before my parents.

God upholds me everyday, without Him, my feet slip and I fall down and can't get up. For several periods in my life I ignored God and went my own way. Who was I kidding? My life stopped making sense until I crawled back to Him.

God loves me unconditionally and I know this. That's why I can fall and rise up again because He gives me countless chances. He never gives up on me.

God is merciful. He forgives me when I sin and He receives me when I return to Him.

God communicates with me. Oh! I can't describe the joy and privilege of hearing my Heavenly Father speaking to me. And He listens to me too! How wonderful and amazing is that? I can tell Him anything bothering me. I can be open and honest with Him and He is not going to be shocked.

God is my confidence and I get my self-worth in Him. Growing up I struggled with self esteem issues, I thought I was not worthy to receive love from anybody. I hated myself and several times I wished I could be someone else. I tried to get over these evil thoughts by myself but I couldn't. Not until I turned to God and allowed Him to take those feelings away and He did! God showed me who I am in Him, that He loves me so much, enough to send His Son to die for me. Now how can I turn my back on such love?

God is my provider. I can't count the number of times I've been flat broke and God provided for me in the nick of time.

God is my refuge and strong tower. When I have the One who made the universe by my side, I don't have to be afraid.

God has great plans for me. He is my guide in life. He knows everything, including my future. So when I am confused, I simply have to ask Him for directions and He reveals which way I should go.

God is full of surprises. The more I get to know Him, the more He amazes me. I long to be in His presence everyday, to know Him more, to hear from Him more.

God is my everything really. He's my relationship adviser, He's my Creative Director, He's my Father, He's my friend, He's my Shepherd, He's my companion, He's my peace.

So those are a few reasons why I believe in God.

If you believe in God, I hereby tag you to write a post and tell the world why. If you don't believe in God, I challenge you to seek Him and give Him a chance to prove Himself to you. After all, you have nothing to lose and eternity to gain.

See why these other bloggers believe in God:

Chichi
~Mimi~
Jaycee
Believer
Simeone
Writefreak
Jewells
Rita

Have a great week!

Internet, Trusting God

2008-11-18T23:54:00.000Z

I’ve had one heck of a week. First my internet connection went down and I wasn’t able to do anything. You know how much we take the internet for granted now? Imagine for three days I was not able to check my emails, update my blog, read and comment on other blogs, log into Facebook, do several google searches, talk to my sister on yahoo messenger, chat with my other VIPs on googletalk, email my work to my friend for feedback, download the latest missed episode of my favourite shows, etc!

It makes me wonder: am I’m too dependent on the internet? Two days without it and a huge chunk of my career and social life is missing! I wonder what would happen if I had to go without it for a week. As it is now, I feel like so many bloggers have updated, it would take me forever to catch up so maybe I shouldn’t even bother. And it also gets me thinking about how much more dependent on the internet we will all become in future. Thankfully, the issue with my internet connection sorted itself out this afternoon and I’m in the loop again. lol

The second crazy thing that happened to me in the past week was: I got a job! And then promptly turned it down. It all started like a bit of a joke really. I applied for the job all right, and went for the interview last Friday. It seems the interviewers were totally blown away by my performance at the interview or something. They contacted me as soon as I got back home to say that I was successful and they would like to offer me the job. I thought about it and decided to accept. But then, I remembered that there was a reason why I had left the 9 – 5 in the first place, to do something else! So I called the company back and declined the offer. I thought everything was fine, until I got a job contract in the post this morning, asking me to report to the HR lady tomorrow morning! Now I’m confused – what should I do?

On another note, still related to that – I feel like God is testing my faith to see how much I trust Him. Part of the reason why I wanted to get a job again was because I was afraid of getting broke and having to rely on hubby for all my needs. In the past months I had been living on my income, and when I quit my job I started spending my little reserve. But now even that is melting away and I have nothing coming in at the moment. Hubby is not complaining one bit, but I’ll be honest, it’s scary for me not having any income! So I had sneakily started looking for a job again. Funny thing is, I didn’t have peace when I accepted the job offer and I knew from experience that once I don’t have peace about a decision, I’m only looking for trouble. I feel God is telling me to relax and He will provide for my needs somehow. It’s hard, but I guess I just have to trust the One who can do it.

Stay tuned for what I eventually do tomorrow. Hope you enjoy the rest of your week!

PS: The lovely Chika Unigwe has a new book out: On Black Sisters' Street. It's now available to pre-order from Amazon.co.uk and it's definitely worth checking out! You can pre-order here

Positive Stuff

2008-11-09T01:22:00.000Z

Hello blogville! I'm in a much better mood this week, for many reasons. It's been a defining moment in history for one! But apart from that, I've had several things happen to cheer me up.

First of all, I'm really glad to witness the fact that Barack Obama won the election! I know how significant his victory is to people of colour, to people who thought they can never break down some barriers. His victory has given hope to thousands of people all around the world that indeed, anything is possible. And that we can achieve our dreams, no matter how far-fetched they sound at the beginning. Imagine, a few short years ago, it would have been impossible to believe that a mixed-race, relatively young man of Kenyan descent would campaign and win the US presidential election by a clear majority. But it has happened right before our very eyes! My big congratulations to President Obama himself, and also to his family and the team behind him. For the first time in history, America has a black family living in the White House!

I'm sure they (Obama and his advisers) know the enormity of the task ahead of them. They must know that the eyes of the world will be on him, and every decision he makes will be scrutinised closely. They are definitely aware that Obama now has to prove a point to the rest of the world: that he deserves all the confidence the voters have in him to deliver on his promises. I just hope the American people who voted him into power, will be patient with him. It can't be easy inheriting the legacy of outgoing President Bush, with the heavy weight of expectations on his shoulders.

Now if I can dream, I hope for the day that my own country Nigeria, and indeed many other countries in Africa will have visionary leaders like Obama that we can believe in. I hope that one day the voice of the people will matter. I hope that one day soon, we will have leaders who want to serve the people, not rule and plunder them. I hope that one day, we will cast away the lust for power, ignorance, selfishness, greed and injustice, to give way for true democracy, peace and unity in our country. I await the day that I would say with even more pride: I am a Nigerian.

Okay, enough of politics! In other news.... last week, hubby and I went on a short break to the city of Porto and we had a lovely time. It was a nice change of scenery and a break from the usual humdrum which was exactly what I needed to get out of the gloom. It was fun hearing another language, trying different food, sampling another culture and exploring a new city. Porto is such a nice chilled out city, compared to London, it's definitely a breath of fresh air! The people are really nice and friendly too. More than once, seeing hubby and I poring over a map in confusion, people have walked up to us and offered to help us find our way around! We had fin walking over bridges, taking a river cruise, going on a tour of a Port Wime making factory and more. I would definitley recommend it to anyone looking for a place to have a relaxing city break for the weekend. Some photos:

I didn't plan this at the beginning of the year, but now I'm going to Nigeria this December by God's grace. How it all happened is still a bit of a mystery to me, but before I knew it, I found myself making plans and getting a ticket one day. Still, I don't mind though, going to Nigeria should be fun! I'll be seeing family and friends that I haven't seen for a year, so that's good. I might even meet up with some bloggers as well! If you are going to be in Lagos this Christmas, feel free to holla!

And finally, my writer's block has cleared, so I'm going to make the most of this time. I've finally updated my writing blog, and I'll be putting up a couple more stuff on it in the next week, fingers crossed. It feels good to be productive again!

Later blogville, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

America Votes

2008-11-04T10:47:00.000Z

America votes today! In a few hours or so, we'll be hearing all about the US election and the results as they trickle in. I have tried not to get caught up in the campaigns over the last months, but I'm now eager to see how it would all shape up. I've heard so many arguments for both sides, both for and against the Democrats and the Republicans. I've heard so many opinions about the candidates themselves, about their policies, their experiences, their qualifications and leadership abilities. But I have to admit, I'm excited about the prospect of Obama winning the election and becoming president of the United States. I like the way he has carried himself throughout the campaigns, first to become the democrat presidential nominee and later to become president. If I was able to, I would vote for Obama. So people and bloggers living in the States, use your voice, go out and vote!

Reflections

2008-10-26T21:24:00.000Z

I've been MIA from blogville a bit in the last few weeks. Usual reasons would be because I've been busy. But it would be untrue for me to claim that. In fact I've just had my least productive month ever. It's a long story and I don't even know if everything really makes sense to me at the moment.

Has anyone ever had a "wilderness experience"? Have you ever felt so disappointed and disillusioned with yourself and with God? Have you ever gotten tired of the Christian race? Do you feel sometimes like you are losing your faith and God seems far away? I have been feeling like that for some time. Towards the end of September, I hit a brick wall in some areas of my life. At first I was angry with God for a really annoying weekend that hubby and I had. Then everything went downhill from there. The anger slowly disappeared but was replaced by a feeling of gloom that nothing could shake. It felt like there was a huge dark cloud hanging over my head. Probably because by that time I was so far away from God that I couldn't even function properly.

So of course what happened next? I developed a severe case of writer's block and my brain went into meltdown. I lost the motivation to do most things I usually enjoy, even reading a good book. I felt like I couldn't do anything useful with myself. I couldn't pray and I couldn't write. When I wrote that "Totally Random" post, I was trying to force myself to do something I normally enjoy but it wasn't the same. So I just scrambled the words together and gave up. I began to operate on auto-pilot because it was like something had sucked out all my joy and enthusiasm for life. The funny thing was that all this was an internal battle and I seemed perfectly fine on the outside. Even when I was in church I would sing, clap, smile and do everything else, but inside I felt like a fraud.

About ten days ago, I actually started to get tired and fed up with feeling this way. In church last Sunday, the speaker said that sometimes he too got tired of the Christian race and felt like he had no strength to go on. I totally understood what he meant and I hoped that I would finally regain some hope, faith and strength. During the week I told a good friend of mine how I had been feeling. She really encouraged me with her words:

Our Lord is so loving that He won't let you go. He is faithful and even though it looks like nothing seems to be working out, there is no question He loves us. Keep reminding yourself that. Lord knows we may go through times like this and ...... He never forgets that we are human, we grow tired, weary and frustrated with issues.
Gradually I was able to draw some hope and strength from her and finally I was able to get on my knees again and talk to my heavenly Father. I actually read my bible and devotional again after ignoring them for more than a month. One of the readings even said that when God brings you out of a wilderness experience, it's because He is preparing you for the next level. I really hope so! I'm glad to report that I'm feeling much better now. Actually the fact that I'm able to type this is a good sign. Last week I couldn't have strung words together that made sense.

I'm still not sure what God is trying to teach me through this experience though. Sometimes we may get the full picture and sometimes we may never know why God takes us through some situations. I guess it's a test of faith or endurance and I failed woefully. Hmmm.

One thing I now appreciate more, is the joy and blessing of having a good Christian friend around. And I have to thank you too, Believer.

Sorry if this post makes no sense whatsoever. Have a blessed week :^)

Funny News - Blogger Plant

2008-10-21T19:07:00.000+01:00

Hi everyone! I've been MIA from blogville for a while. I'll be back soon to do a proper update. I just want to put up this story that I stumbled on today from the Telegraph news site:

Blogging plant posts daily news on its mood

A potted plant that posts daily news on its mood and health is believed to be the world's first botanical blogger.

Midori-san, which lives on the counter of a Japanese café, writes regular updates with the help of sensors attached to its leaves.

The detectors pick up electronic signals on the surface of the plant, which responds to light and human touch.

The data is then combined with weather and temperature information and translated into chatty blog posts using a computer algorithm.

"Today was a sunny day and I was able to sunbathe a lot... I had quite a bit of fun today," it wrote on October 16 from its cafe in Kamakura, near Tokyo.

A more recent entry was less perky: "It was cloudy today. It was a cold day."

Satoshi Kuribayashi, part of the team at Keio University behind the project, said that the aim was to reveal something of the hidden internal world of plants.

"We were initially interested in what plants are feeling and what they are reacting to where we can't see," he said.

Midori-san is a hoya kerrii, which are more commonly called "sweetheart plants" because of their heart-shaped leaves.

It joins a blogosphere that is thought to have several hundred million members across the world. More blog posts are written in Japanese than either Chinese or English, according to a 2007 study.

Interesting stuff! lol If you can read Japanese, check out the blog here: http://plant.bowls-cafe.jp/index.php

Have a great evening!

Totally Random

2008-10-05T00:28:00.000+01:00

This is dedicated to the one I love.

Thank you Mr Leo Sayer.

It's midnight. I'm sitting down on my bed. Utterly bored, yet restless. I have lots of things to say but I'm feeling too lazy to write. I'm too awake to go to bed thanks to several cups of tea. I'm tired of the conversation I'm having with a friend on yahoo messenger. I decide to blog but I've been staring at the screen in frustration for twenty seven minutes. I give up and try listening to music instead. This song by Leo Sayer come on. "Dedicated to the one I love". Hmmmm.

The one I love is sleeping beside me. I'm reminded of one of our dates in February 2003. Valentine's day. We had been quarrelling three days before. I've forgotten what the argument was about. It doesn't matter anymore, maybe it never did. I still love him though.

Another song comes up: "Clubbin" by Marques Houston. This song reminds me of my days as a student. Days of hanging out with my friends. It reminds me of going clubbing on the night after exams. And those wonderful summer barbecues, that turn to house parties that go on till 2.00 in the morning.

"Unfaithful" by Rihanna comes up. Even though it's a fairly recent song, it makes me think of my teenage years. It reminds me of complicated love triangles.

Another song come up....

Gosh I'm soooo bored! And I'm in need of inspiration. Can anyone help?

This is the most random post ever! I wonder if it even makes sense? I don't know jo, I'll post it like that. I blame writer's block.

Award and Gists

2008-09-23T10:02:00.000+01:00

Hi blogville people! Is it just me, or is this month of September flying by faster than all the previous months of the year? It's already the 23rd of the ninth month of the year for real! God is in control, that's all I can say.

I received a blog honour from Aloted - yay! She gave me the "Certified Honest Blogger" award. Thanks girl, I'm so grateful!
Okay so, this is my acceptance speech:

I would like to thank God, my wonderful hubby and Aloted for giving me this award. Thank you also to everyone who read and comment on my blogs, who have encouraged me and inspired me. And to all of you wonderful people that make blogville such a fun, entertaining and educative place to be! Thank you!

Here are the rules of the award:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!

So I'm passing on the award to the following bloggers in no particular order:

1 Good Naija Girl
2 Vera
3 Believer
4 Diamond Hawk
5 No Limit
6 Cherub
7 Jaycee

I think you all deserve this lovely award!

Last week I had to embark on a transformation of some sorts. Alas, it seems after three years of marriage, I had been letting myself slip in terms of my appearance and hubby pointed this out to me (in a nice way of course, lol). He said he noticed that I only make an effort to look fabulous when I'm going out, and I don't bother much when I'm at home. I guess it became more noticeable because I stopped going to work so I didn't suit up and make up every morning anymore! That made me realise that I needed to take quick action before I became a frumpy housewife! So I took his advice on board and decided to do something about it. First, I had a critical look at my wardrobe and discarded the old and ugly stuff in there, gosh it's practically empty right now! Next I went to the MAC counter to get a make-over and update my look before I get stuck in a rut. Now I'm updating my clothes and accessories gradually, keeping an eye on the trends in fashion magazines and shows. You know how, before we ladies get married, we vow never to let our appearance take a back seat? Well I've realised that most ladies don't plan to allow it happen, it just does. It takes an effort to keep it up when you've become comfortable in your relationship. Now that I've realised though, I have no excuse so I'm going to make the effort. Fingers crossed!

Apart from that, I've been keeping busy with my work and I'm quite pleased with the progress I've made. I've now written five more chapters of my book. I've put the first five chapters on my writing blog now. But I'll be adding some more short stories to it, as time goes on. I'm hearing from other experienced writers that I should finish writing the whole thing first before editing it, but it's hard! I keep reading every sentence over and over, trying to make it sound better. It's slowing me down though, so I guess I need to finish writing the first draft before I worry about editing it. It's a huge learning curve for me and I know I still have a long way to go.

I'm off to start my day properly now, so take care friends, till I come back or pass by your blogs too! Enjoy the rest of your week.

Second Blog Anniversary

2008-09-08T23:28:00.000+01:00

I've officially been blogging for two years!

I can't believe it, but it feels about right. Blogville is a weird and wonderful place to be involved in - all kinds of things going on with all kinds of people. Each person behind their own screen, typing and posting on topics that interest them. I've definitely enjoyed every ride, the good, the bad and the downright unbelieveable.

In the past two years:

I've started with one blog, and ended up with three!

I've spent countless hours in front of my computer, at all hours of the day and night, catching up on other people's writings.

I've been invited to read about people, sometimes so different from me, and yet, so similar in many ways.

I've had to imagine people dealing with situations that I have never faced.

I've been educated about opinions and experiences so different from mine.

I'm met many people I would never have met otherwise and I'm grateful for both the real and virtual friendships I've formed.

I've been inspired to dig deeper into myself and become a better person.

I've also been inspired to rekindle my love for reading and storytelling.

I've rejoiced with bloggers, cried with bloggers, prayed for bloggers, laughed along with bloggers.

So: many thanks to the bloggers who have made me laugh out loud with their funny and witty posts. Thanks to everyone who has dropped a kind word or two on my blogs, people who have encouraged me through their comments, people who have sent me emails with words of advice and comfort. I don't want to mention names, but you know who you are! Most of you I might never meet, but you have contributed to my life in many ways, thank you!

Many people start blogging, but for one reason or the other, they feel like they have to stop. For me it's like an open journal, it's an addiction I don't want to let go of, and it's a form of release. I hope I can continue to blog as long as there is life and I can access a computer! So here's to many more years in Blogville. Cheers!

New Month, New Ideas

2008-09-01T16:59:00.000+01:00

Happy new month! I can't believe I've been away from my blog for two whole weeks. And I can't believe the month of August is already over. It's like the year is almost gone once you get to the "-ber" months: September, October, November and December. Before you know it, 2008 will be over and we will be ushering in the year 2009. Scary!

I've been quite busy in the last two weeks. Since leaving my job, I've been working on the book and taking small steps to reach my target before the end of the year. Check out my writing blog to read some chapters and short stories. I will be putting up more short stories as I go along. Then my little sis came round, and we had lots of fun! It was really nice to see her again even though it was quite a short trip. The bubbly girl helped herself to my clothes and stuff sha, before boarding her plane back. But it's all good, that's what little sisters are for.

My cousin also had her engagement and wedding ceremonies which was a great time. Weddings generate so much excitement in the family as you can imagine. Lots of people flew in, people staying over and such like. It was cool though - I got two new aso-ebi outfits, I got to see family and friends that I hadn't seen in ages, got to dance and take loads of photos. She's off on honeymoon now as the new Mrs and my life is slowly getting back to normal.

I've got a few new ideas up my sleeve, about making the most of my time outside the 9 - 5 routine. It's like there are so many things that you don't notice when you are busy working and working for someone else. Or you are too inflexible to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. I was talking to a friend of mine who is absolutely fed up with her job and ready to quit any day now. She's thinking of business ideas to go into. I told her that once you have the ideas in your mind, take the plunge. It may seem scary at first, but really, what's the worst that could happen? You might fail once, but if you are determined, you will rise up again and learn from your mistakes. And then be better prepared to succeed. For me, I'm trying to build up my tough skin and be ready to face rejections from agents and publishers time and time again when I finish writing my book. I know from the experience of many other writers, success doesn't just land in the letter box. So I'm preparing for the worst.

Anyway, recently I had been thinking about that age-old question, "Why am I here?" that most of us have to ask ourselves at some point in our lives. I read the book "40 Days of Purpose" in 2006 and it did change my life. Maybe I need to read it again because I still have some questions I need answers to. But really I guess I'm just a bit impatient. I know I can only find my true purpose in God, but sometimes waiting is so hard. I want to know so many things right now and God is taking His time to reveal things slowly. Maybe I need to work on becoming more patient. Anyway while I was pondering these things I got a few things in my mind and I decided to write them down:

I am not here just to be a statistic - I am not an accident or mistake - I am not here just to live and die quietly - I wasn't born just to add to the population on this planet - I am not here to live a miserable existence - God had a good plan for me when He sent me to earth - I have gifts and talents that God has blessed me with - I can become whatever I dream of - There are goals to achieve and awards to win - I should make every single day count!

Hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Out of the Race

2008-08-14T03:29:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogville! It's been a while, and things move so fast on blogs these days. I've been quite busy in the last week. I've had a few posts stored up in my head, I just didn't have the time to come and update my blog. Now it's very early on Thursday morning, I'm very awake, so I decided to come and check up the updates on blogville. I was already having withdrawal symptoms all throughout the week, lol. I feel like I'm already out of the loop with gists on my favourite blogs.

Some things have changed since I last updated. My contract at work came to an end last Friday and I didn't renew it. So I've left my job (again) yay! My boss and colleagues gave me a nice send off with cards, flowers, champagne and some other nice stuff, which was great. I was actually not expecting them to give me anything since I had left the job before so it was a nice surprise. They really are a great company to work for with a nice culture. The only problem was the job itself! I heaved a huge sigh of relief when I walked out of the building and handed in my security pass. I don't think I can fully explain the feeling of a massive weight being lifted off my shoulders. Everyone was asking me what I'm going to do next and if I was ever going to come back (again!) but I didn't really want to say. I did tell two of my close friends over lunch and I promised to keep in touch and update them on my progress once in a while. I got home after leaving London on Friday afternoon and promptly crashed on my bed. Hubby came home much later and later he told me he had been talking to me but I didn't hear a thing. I was sleeping off the stress of commuting for six months!

Life seems a bit weird now, but in a good way. It feels good to be out of the 9 - 5! It felt good on Monday to ignore my 6.00am alarm clock and turn it off. It felt good not having to rush out of my house and dash to the station to catch the train into London. And it felt good to wake up not worrying about how on earth I'm going to survive another long, boring day at the office. I'm now looking forward to what the future holds. I have my goals for the rest of the year and many more ambitions I want to fulfil in the future so I'm asking God to hold my hand all the way. And already God is showing me things I might have missed because I had no time previously to consider.

I have to be very organised with my work though, because it is easy to get distracted with all the other stuff at home. I'm setting my daily and weekly targets and asking hubby to supervise, lol. I'm asking God for wisdom to balance my work with my other responsibilities. Especially when people expect you to be at their beck and call because you are at home, not at the office. Like yesterday, my neighbour popped round and asked if I would babysit her two kids while she went to the shops. I said it was okay because I wasn't working at that very moment. She came back in about three hours just as I was getting bored but it wasn't too bad. But she came in today again, wanting me to watch the kids again! I'm going to have to find a way to explain that I may be at home but I'm not idle and in need of something to do to fill up my time.

Well a few things are happening over the next two weeks; my cousin is getting married so there's a lot of excitement in the family. My sister is coming over from the US and I'm so looking forward to seeing her again. I haven't seen her since early 2007 so we have a lot of catching up to do. We're going to have a fun time together, even though she has also promised to clear out my closet. Sisters! Then we are going to have an engagement ceremony this weekend and the wedding next weekend so it's going to be a busy time! I'm going to be really disciplined with my time so I don't fall behind.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your week and the weekend!

PS: Has anybody been watching the Olympics? I feel as if it's been happening on another planet!

Summer, Success, Other News

2008-07-30T17:52:00.000+01:00

Thank you for your comments and kind wishes in my last post. I really do appreciate it, and I pray that God will continue to give us reasons to celebrate good things in our lives. Hubby and I had a barbecue last weekend to celebrate and it was great, with lovely weather, family and good friends, great food and music! Aloted (and her hubby) came and represented blogville, and we had a nice time. I've been in a good mood since last week, I've got so many reasons to smile! The sun is finally out, and I'm enjoying everything that comes with that. I feel alert and energised in the mornings when the sun shines into my window, everyone is wearing nice summer clothes and huge sunglasses outside and I can enjoy cycling everywhere. Plus I'll be leaving my job soon! I'm already counting down the days to when I leave. I can't wait, I'm so looking forward to it. It's like, this has been the slowest six months of my life. I can't wait to start the next chapter.

Speaking of the next chapter, I'm really glad that I don't have to go through this alone, God is with me. Last week I was feeling pressured and terrified at the thought of leaving my job again and not having that security of a monthly pay check that comes along with it. It's daunting to think that every success I will achieve now is entirely up to me. But God has been showing me that I'm not alone, indeed He is with me every step of the way. It doesn't mean that I won't have to knuckle down and work hard when I need to, it doesn't mean that my dreams will come true overnight, but it is an assurance that with God by my side, and my wonderful hubby supporting and encouraging me, and my family and friends (and blog friends!) keeping me going, I can do it! I read somewhere this week that there is a bigger correlation between self-confidence and achievement, than between IQ and achievement. Meaning that the more self-confident you are and the more you believe in yourself, the higher your chances of success! I can just feel my self-confidence going through the roof right now.... lol.

Last week I attended a book reading in London and it was a book written by Halima Bashir and Damien Lewis titled Tears of the Desert. The organisers had claimed that it was one of the very rare memoirs of a woman born and raised in the conflict-torn area of Darfur in Sudan, so my curiosity was piqued. The reading was quite an eye-opener. Prior to this, I'm ashamed to say, I knew very little about the conflict in Darfur. I just read little bits of information in the newspaper and on the TV without really registering what's going on. The book goes into detail about this young woman's life, how she grew up in a small, peaceful and happy village until the conflict started and tore her community apart. After the reading there was an interview with the writers, and there were questions asked for her to explain things on a clearer level. There was also a discussion on how people in the West can help to alleviate the suffering of countless thousands of people, refugees in their own country. At the end of the event, I bought the book and I have just started reading it and it's so powerful, yet full of hope. I would urge anyone who cares about the state of the world we live in to buy the book and educate themselves. And safe to say that I prefer knowledge to ignorance of what's happening in Darfur.

Well I hope the good weather lasts, it makes such a difference. I have some fun plans for the weekend - a high school reunion and a friend's birthday party so I'm looking forward to them. In the meantime, I need to do my blog rounds, so I'll catch you all later!. Hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Three-Year Celebration

2008-07-23T16:45:00.000+01:00

I'm celebrating today, but first I want to thank God who makes all things possible. God has been and continues to be very good to me and my family. I'm grateful for God's love and I'm grateful for my hubby too. He's the one person that I know that knows me so well, and loves me anyway. I'm so thankful to God for bringing him into my life. I met him six years ago, married him three years ago today! So I'm celebrating meeting and marrying the most wonderful guy in my life. He really complements me, makes me happy and supports me in every way. God knew what He was doing when he match-made us, cos I can't imagine being with anyone else!

Here's to many many many more years of happy married life! Love you honey!

I Need a Wife

2008-07-12T13:11:00.000+01:00

Yes I'm female and I'm married to a guy, excuse the tongue-in-cheek title. I've got so many things going on in my mind and I couldn't decide what to talk about. So I just decided to write whatever popped into my head today.

One day I popped into my local WHSmith and picked up a writers magazine. In it there was an article talking about how writers face time management issues with structuring their work around other daily activities, especially if they are full time writers and don't have the structure of the 9 - 5 routine. The article included a survey of writers, a mixture of both men and women, and the responses they gave. The majority of the male writers said that they had no time management problems as such, they just got up from bed in the morning, had breakfast and then went to their study to get on with work. The female writers seemed to have a more complicated day however. One of them said she has to get up, make breakfast for everyone, get the kids bathed, dressed and ready for school, go and drop the kids off, come back home, clear away the breakfast plates, do the washing up, sort out the laundry, and plan what to cook for lunch before she starts her writing for the day. She might need to also do some shopping to stock up the fridge. In the afternoon, she has to prepare lunch, pick the kids up from school, feed them, supervise them and play with them, or find something to engage them while she works. When dinner time comes around, she has to cook for the family and clear up before returning to her work. It's much harder for a female to work from home where there are a myriad of tasks that keep distracting her from her work.

The writer of the article commented that it must be nice to be a man and have a woman in your life to do all the domestic stuff for you while you just get on with your job. Somebody has to look after the home whether one or both parties are working. Nowadays there are some men who don't mind helping the woman out in the home sometimes, but it's still not automatically a shared responsibility. That got me daydreaming about how nice it must be to have someone who looks after me while I spend hours in my study writing.

(Daydreaming) I would like to wake up in the morning and my breakfast is ready for me on the table. My study has been cleaned, my clothes are washed, ironed and ready for me to wear to work. After breakfast I disappear into my study to write for hours on end and I don't come out until lunch time. When I finish working for the day, my dinner is on the table and I can just relax and watch TV. The children are tucked into bed and I go to wish them goodnight. My own bed is neatly laid when I go to sleep and when I wake up in the morning, the cycle continues. (End of daydream).

Unfortunately life doesn't work that way! For most working women, many of us have to juggle our jobs and careers with housework, whether we are single, living with parents, or married. And house chores have to be done - there is no getting away from them. I can understand why many women back in Nigeria have to get maids to help them with the housework and nannies to help with looking after young children. Personally, I don't think I would ever get a maid, because these things tend to become complicated, but once in a while I feel like I wouldn't mind having a wife to do my cooking and cleaning, to look after the kids and make sure that my home runs smoothly, while I sit in my study to write. It's nice to imagine.... LOL.

In other news, the Caine Prize Award 2008 was held last week. The shortlist was as follows:

Mohammed Naseehu Ali (Ghana) ‘Mallam Sile’, from ‘The Prophet of Zongo’
Henrietta Rose-Innes from South Africa ‘Poison’ from ‘Africa Pens’
Stanley Onjezani Kenani (Malawi) ‘For Honour’ from ‘African Pens’
Gill Schierhout (South Africa) ‘The Day of the Surgical Colloquium’ from ‘African Pens'
Uzor Maxim Uzoatu (Nigeria) ‘ Cemetery of Life ’ from ‘Wasafiri’ No52

And the winner was: Henrietta Rose-Innes from South Africa, with her story ‘Poison’ from ‘Africa Pens’. If you want to read any of the shortlisted stories, there are links on Molara Wood's blog: here

Meanwhile I need to go and check out Blogville Idols, seems like I'm missing out on all the fun and excitement going on. Hope you are having a great weekend!

More on Work and Careers

2008-06-26T00:26:00.000+01:00

I was in a cranky mood earlier today. My journey to work was awful - there was a problem on the trains so I had to stand all the way into Central London resulting in a back ache. I finally got on the tube and it was cramped, hot and smelly. Then I could feel a cold coming on so I had to go and buy some cold remedies because falling sick is the last thing I want right now. I got to the office and could not find a reason to be cheerful even though the sun was shining. I was thinking - I hate this job, I hate the 9 - 5 stuff, I hate commuting, etc. It was just one of those days that seem to start wrong and the clouds don't lift. Okay rant over.

My friend sent me an email saying "In all things give thanks". Initially I read it and pushed it out of my mind. Then I thought about it later and realised that I should give thanks for everything. Life is not always sweet or comfortable. There will be days I would wish I had stayed in bed instead. But God is in control, He is there to comfort me. If only I would reach out for Him. By lunch time I felt better and my mood cleared. I need to learn not to get so stressed by things I can't control.

Anyway I hope you all are having a good week so far. In my last post, I talked about my job and my commitment to stay till August and that's it. Now my boss called me a few days ago and asked me if I could stay in the job until January! It appears the girl I'm covering doesn't feel quite ready to come back to work and I don't blame her. Well I had quite an easy choice to make: and I've decided to decline the offer! It would go against everything I now know, if I stay in the job after August. I've got lots of other things to do and I feel the job is not worth my precious time anymore.

Besides, recently I have been thinking of my long-term financial goals. Like most people, I dream of being financially stable someday without relying on a monthly salary from "the day job". I know that I would probably never get that real financial freedom from my current job. Also, I don't see that happening with any jobs I would be considered suitable for in the current job market. So I have to broaden my scope and look beyond the next paycheck that would only be swallowed by rising expenses. I'm now making some long term plans and I have to work hard to make them come true. It's never too early to start planning for a worry-free retirement!

Last week, I was chatting with a friend of mine and she said she was considering starting a business she could be doing to earn more money while she works on her 9 - 5 job. Seeing as I had been thinking along the same lines, I was interested in the topic so we started talking and making suggestions. We went through a list of options, what could she start doing in her spare time to earn money and maybe turn into a full time career in the near future? We came up with: Photography, Cake baking and decorating, Make-up artist, Hair dressing, Web design, Events organising, Sewing, Designing Shoes and Handbags, Balloon and Flower decorating, Knitwear designer, Basket Weaving (don't laugh!), Personal Shopper, Designing Party Stationery like invitations, RSVP cards and stuff, Massage and Beauty Therapy, Fitness Instructor, Part time Journalist or Columnist, Fashion Stylist, Jewellery Designer, Interior Designer, Printmaking, Painting and Drawing, etc. At the end of the discussion she said she would think about the one that appealed to her the most.

The discussion got me thinking though. That list up there is just the tip of the iceberg, there are so many options out there that many of us haven't explored. How many of us have dreams of starting something or using our creativity but we never get round to it? If you have a passion for something, what's stopping you from pursuing it? Think of the ideas that pop into your mind sometimes and you think "Yeah I could do that!". But you procrastinate and let the idea go cold, and soon you forget about it and carry on with life as usual. But that attitude will not make dreams come true. You have to do something different from the norm, you have to step out of the dream and start working to make it a reality.

I think any of those ideas look promising. If anything appeals to you, I would say go for it! Maybe you would need to take a class to improve your skills. Don't let that be a deterrent. Gradually working towards your goal will give you a sense of fulfilment that you can't get anywhere else. You can do something now, start putting things in place, start your business small. Maybe start with family and close friends and gradually take it to the next level by expanding your customer base. Before you know it, you could have something worth quiting your job for in a few short years. Imagine earning money from your passion and better still, having financial independence and your time to yourself! I think that sounds infinitely better than being chained to a desk, slaving away at a job you hate in the hope of climbing up the slippery career ladder.

I discussed this topic with another friend of mine. She was saying that she would keep her job until she gets married and takes time off to have a baby, then she will think of something else to do. While this is good, I think it's another reason to procrastinate. That way you're still thinking in your mind "I'll do it later" or "Not right now". But will there ever be a perfect time for you to start aiming for your goals? It's better to start earlier rather than later in my opinion. That way you can take the risks and get the mistakes out of the way sooner. Then you can still bounce back and be on your way to a fulfilling and rewarding career.

Enjoy the rest of your week.

Rediscovering Myself

2008-06-15T02:01:00.000+01:00

If I'm honest, I have to confess that I didn't want to write this post. Seeing as I'm trying to be honest with myself, and have a record of what God is teaching me at every stage in my life, I have decided to put it in writing and share it. So here goes.

Sometime last year, I felt God was telling me to leave my job, leave the 9 -5, leave everything connected to my previous accounting career behind and focus on becoming a writer. I was so convinced about this that I prayed about it and I got the confirmation again and again. So about the end of June last year, took the plunge! I quit my job and waited for God to show me what to do next. I asked - "What should I start doing now?" Sure enough, God started opening my eyes and inspiring me so that I could start taking small steps on the path that He had called me to walk. Even though I knew I had a lot to learn and a very long road to walk before I started to see my dreams become a reality, I loved the peace that it gave me, knowing I was doing God's will. I travelled to Nigeria in October and at the end of 2007, I asked God what His plans were for me in 2008. At the beginning of the year, I knew He wanted me to focus on my writing and take it seriously. I was all geared up to do just that when I came back to England in January.

Then I got an email from my former boss asking me if I wanted to take my job back for six months while the girl that replaced me takes her maternity leave. I mentioned it on this blog and I was wondering if it was a good idea to take the job back, knowing it would distract me from what I was supposed to be doing. I prayed about it and waited for God to say yes or no, but I didn't hear anything and I had to get back to my boss in a week. I thought of all the reasons why I should or shouldn't go back to work and I justified it to myself that since it was only six months, it shouldn't be a big deal, and the money would come in handy while I do try to do my writing during my spare time. So I did not "trust in the Lord with all my heart" as Proverbs 3 v 5 says, instead I "leaned on my own understanding", so I said yes and went for it.

Big mistake. It wasn't long before I realised that I had made the wrong move. After a month back at work, I was bored with the job, angry with myself, frustrated with the stress, and tired of the commuting. Then to make matters worse, I was falling behind on the writing I was supposed to be doing in my spare time. Every time someone asked me "how's your writing going?" I always felt awful (thanks Believer, Mimi, GNG, Vera and Jaycee, lol) because I knew I wasn't as focused on it like I should have been. But it was too late by then because I had committed to stay in the job until August.
Then I was too proud to admit to God that I had made a mess and ask for forgiveness. Instead I grew colder and colder because I blamed Him for not answering me promptly when I asked if I should take my job back. Silly of me, I know. But I'm so grateful that God is a loving and forgiving Father who is merciful enough to overlook my mistakes, faults, shortcomings, what-not and draw me back to Him. Two weeks ago, I was in church on Sunday with a sullen attitude, when I was hit right in the face with a message titled "Listening to God". Suddenly I heard it loud and clear as if God was saying to me: "You silly girl, you should have listened to what I told you at the beginning of the year before you went off and did your own thing. Now, see how unhappy you are". I was hooked for the rest of the service. Afterwards, I went to meet the speaker to get the poem she read out during her sermon. She told me that God told her when she was preparing her message notes that she should print a spare copy of the poem because somebody would be needing it. I was so humbled when I left church that afternoon. I knew then what I had to do, so I went back to God and asked Him to forgive me and help me make things right again. All through that week, I had the poem on my table and I read it every day. And every time I saw it, the message sank into my head again: listen to God before you take any big step.

So I've made a mistake and learnt a lot of lessons. One of them is that nothing, absolutely nothing is worth straying out of God's will for. I've learnt that it's wise to postpone a difficult decision until I'm absolutely sure of what God says. I've learnt that I need to focus on what God has called me to do and not get distracted by other things that look tempting. I'm learning to be patient and work according to God's time-table and not mine. And I've learnt that even when I've messed up big time, God is always willing to give me a second chance to make things right again.

I thought I should share the poem too, because I'm sure it will bless somebody who needs to read it.

The Father's Voice

Listen my child,
Beyond the noise of other voices,
Other pressures,
Beyond your conscience, your knowledge
Listen for my voice.

The shepherd's voice pierces the babble,
And can be heard
But it can also be missed
By the attentive ear
Listen for my voice

My voice reminds you of my presence,
My love.
It helps guard you
From distractions from my way
Listen for my voice

The practice
Of listening for my voice
Will help keep you true to me
Focused upon me
Listen for my voice

And sometimes what you hear
Will astound you
But you will recognise the Truth
Because you know my voice
Listen to my voice.

Orange Prize: Winners Announced

2008-06-08T21:32:00.000+01:00

Here's an update from the previous post:

Rose Tremain was announced as the winner of the 2008 Orange Prize for her novel "The Road Home". It's a story of Lev, an immigrant from Eastern Europe, who travels to Britain to seek work. He is grieving the passing of his wife, while he leaves his land and everything to come to a new strange land. He wants to get a good job so that he can send money back home to support his mother and daughter.

Joanna Kavenna was awarded the Orange Broadband Award for New Writers for her book "Inglorious" which is about a character, Rosa who goes through a break down after the death of her mother. She quits her good job, her boyfriend breaks up with her and gets engaged to her friend, her debts begin to pile up and her bank is not helping matters.

I was at the readings for both awards and I actually bought the book "Inglorious" afterwards. I've started reading it and I'm intrigued to see what happens to the character as the story unfolds. I'll probably buy "The Road Home" as well because it sounds interesting. Mainly because I want to see how the writer portrayed English people through the eyes of an immigrant.

Hope you all had a great weekend and are looking forward to a wonderful week!

Orange Broadband Prize 2008

2008-06-03T01:35:00.000+01:00

The Orange Prize celebrates excellence, originality and accessibility in international women’s writing. As we all know, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie won the prize last year and brought a lot of recognition to Nigeria and Nigerian writers. The events for 2008 are upon us and this evening, I attended the readings of the books shortlisted. This year's entries are quite different from last year's but no less interesting. I enjoyed listening to the writers reading out their work and I'm finding it hard to judge which one will go on to become the eventual winner. The shortlisted writers are as follows:

Nancy Huston - Fault Lines more

Sadie Jones - The Outcast more

Charlotte Mendelson - When We Were Bad more

Heather O’Neill - Lullabies for Little Criminals more

Rose Tremain - The Road Home more

Patricia Wood - Lottery more

For more information, visit the Orange Prize website

I plan to attend the further discussions with the authors tomorrow evening, then I'll decide which of the books I'm going to buy. Hopefully I'll pick the winner! Let me know what you think about the books and the authors.

Motorbike Training, Amsterdam

2008-06-02T01:58:00.000+01:00

Hey bloggers and readers! Hope your week went well and you are having a really cool weekend. First of all, I want to send a big shout-out to my little sister who had a birthday recently. She's now a proper big girl and I'm so proud of the young lady she has become. I'm too overwhelmed with emotions to write an epistle about her, but she knows how I feel. Love you loads darling!

I've had a really great time in the last few days. I took the whole of last week off work. It was a huge relief not to be at a desk in the office all day, and coming home tired and grumpy in the evenings. I wanted to make the most of it, because hubby had a week off as well so we put our days into good use. Last Monday, hubby and I went to try our hands at motorbiking. I have always wanted a scooter or a motorbike (just for the something fun and different factor) and I had been bugging him to get me a scooter for a long time. So he finally agreed and then we found out that we needed to do some training before we would be allowed to get on the road. I thought it would be a breeze, by my, was I surprised. We got to the training centre and I spent the whole day just learning to balance on the bike properly, starting and stopping safely and stuff. Finally when I was given the chance to ride around the track, needless to say, I fell off a few times! It was still great fun though and I intend to continue practicing until I can ride a motorbike perfectly. However long that may be.

The rest of my week went great too. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I just chilled and lazed around. And then on Thursday, hubby and I popped out again for a short city break. This time we went to Amsterdam, a lovely city famous for its canals, bridges, cycling, friendly Dutch people and that district. We were there for three days and we had a blast. Being there has made me even more determined to learn a few European languages, so that is going up on my to-do list. I think I now prefer Amsterdam to Bruge or Brussels, but I'll make a few more trips before I decide on my favourite European city.

Here are some photos of Amsterdam:

Next time I get a chance to visit Holland, I'll try to see Rotterdam and The Hague as well. But for now, it's back to work for me and I'm so not looking forward to it. But I've got a lot of interesting things lined up for June so it should be a great month. Hope you have a lovely June too!

Asa's Songs: Awe, Bibanke

2008-05-27T01:50:00.000+01:00

It seems a lot of people were interested in hearing the gist behind Asa's songs after I wrote the review of her London concert. So here goes:

Awe: This is a story about a young man (Waheedi), his aunt and his lover. This young man grew up in the village and when he grew older and finished school, he left the village to go to Lagos. In Lagos, he stayed with his aunt, and she helps him to secure a job. For some time, everything is fine. He goes to work everyday, comes home everyday and he gets on well with his aunt. Then one day he met a woman. She is older than him but it doesn't matter, they fall in love. Their relationship is deep and passionate, they engage in trysts at every chance they get. And what do you expect? The woman soon got pregnant. She told Waheedi about the pregnancy and he vanished for three days. In the meantime, the woman goes to his house to look for him and met his aunt. She tells the aunt that she is looking for Waheedi and she is carrying his baby. His aunt is obviously not pleased to hear this. When Waheedi eventually turns up, his aunt confronts him and what she's saying is the basis of the song. She is asking:
"Where have you been for the past three days? How come that woman who is old enough to be your mother said she is pregnant and it's your baby?"
Anyway, when his lover finally gives birth to the baby, there are more questions than answers. The baby doesn't quite look like Waheedi and his aunt comments on this:
"How come you are dark skinned and the baby is light skinned?"
She also mentions how they are related through his mum and grandmother. She ends the song by telling him she has enough problems on her plate, so she is not in the mood to deal with his own issues too. And so the story goes on....

Bibanke: This is the story of love turning bad. Asa has said in interviews that she wrote the song based on the experiences of her mum, her sister and a friend. It is about love that started very well in the beginning. When everything starts off being rosy, she holds on to all the promises the guy tells her and she is sucked in by his words. So much so that when it turns bad, she doesn't want to let go. The guy starts toying with her emotions, disrespecting her, blowing hot one minute and cold, the next. But she holds on to the negative relationship, making excuses for the guy, keeping up apprearances on the outside, even though she is breaking down inside.
Eventually, the guy leaves her and her bubble bursts. She needs to cry and let out all the emotions she has been keeping up bottled up inside for so long. She cries and cries and refuses to be consoled. She asks everyone to leave her alone to cry, even if she cries a river or a waterfall. But through her tears, she is washing away the hurt and pain. She will cry until she doesn't feel the hurt and rejection anymore. Then she will leave the guy, their relationship and everything to God.

Interesting stories right? (Beware your private life ending up in an album if your friend is an aspiring singer!) I love Asa though, she rocks!

Asa's Concert

2008-05-14T13:36:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone! Hope you've been having a great week so far. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy belated birthday, much appreciated! My weekend was good, the weather was perfect for barbecues, going on a picnic and reading in the garden. And I got to do just that.

My week also started on a great note. On Monday evening, I went to see Asa play at the Carling Academy in London. Her gig was amazing! I knew I would enjoy her show because I love all the songs on her album, but she definitely exceeded my expectations.

I went with two of my friends, one of them had only heard three of her songs and he was so captured by her that he wanted to see her play live. And we were not disappointed. We got to the venue early and since I had bought our tickets ages ago, so we didn't have to join the long queue. We got in at 7.30pm and got a space right at the front of the venue (it was standing only) and we waited for the show to begin. The hall filled up quickly, most of the people in the audience were Nigerians, but there were also some French people and other nationalities there.

The show began with the opening act, Ben Onono. He sang four songs, one of them called Badagry Beach, another called Blue Moon, and he also played the piano brilliantly. After he finished, the audience clapped and cheered, and we waited expectantly for the main performer to come on.

Ben Onono

Some people in the audience started chanting "Asa, Asa, Asa". One by one, her band members came on the stage, took a bow and began playing their instruments. The crowd started cheering and then her back-up singer came on, smiling at us like she knew we were waiting for Asa herself to come on. Then we heard the beginnings of her song "360" and the crowd went wild. Asa came on stage singing the song and the audience joined in, singing all the words and screaming.

She was brilliant - in one word. She was dressed simply with minimum fuss and make up, but she had amazing stage presence and we were all mesmerized. She interacted with the audience, performed like the star she is, and brought all her songs to life. During a performance by the band, she danced and the girl can move! For most of the show, the audience sang along and she seemed pleased by the response she got. At some point, her back-up singer was staring at the crowd in surprise and amusement because we had taken over her job!

After the first song, she sang "Subway" and then before she started singing "Bibanke" she told us the gist about the song. It was deep. Next came a new song that is not on her album, something like "Iro Ko Da". She then asked a member of the audience to come and join her to sing on stage. So many people screamed and jostled for her attention, it was funny. She called two girls up to the stage and they sang beautifully. "Fire on the Mountain" followed and of course we sang along, cheered, clapped and whooped when the song came to an end.

She chatted a bit and then started telling us the story behind the "Awe" song, teasing us with the enticing bits about the young man, his aunt and his lover. I enjoyed that and I thought it was really good, because I love the song and I know what the words mean, but I hadn't really gotten the gist of it before. When she sang it all the words came to life and you could almost imagine the people that were in the situation she described.

The next song she performed was "Peace" which we all enjoyed. When she started "Jailer" and invited the audience to sing along with her, we all went crazy, jumping up and down, waving our arms, screaming the song at the top of our lungs, and it was great! We definitely rocked that venue!

Then she sang "Beautiful", but before then, she told us that the song was dedicated to all beautiful ladies in the crowd, and she tried to engage us to "sing" along with her, teasing us by saying we should sing very softly so that the guys in the audience would "feel" it. We cleared our throats and tried our best to copy her but most of us just descended into giggles. Then she sang the song and gave it so much depth and meaning, doing a nice dance in the middle, to the beat of the drums.

She said the next song "No One Knows Tomorrow" was going to be the last song. So we savoured it and when the song came to an end, she thanked the audience, took a bow and went off stage. Some people started to leave, but most people in the audience decided to hang around and started chanting "Asa! More, More!" Then she and the band came back on stage! She said they stopped the music because she is shy and when she mentioned her name, we did not encourage her. So we screamed ourselves hoarse and then she decided to perform a few more songs for us.

She sang "Eye Adaba" wonderfully well, then she also performed two songs: one by Nina Simone and another by Bob Marley. Lastly, she did a mixed medley of three of her songs and then the show came to an end. We cheered, clapped and screamed and she said we were making her miss home, so when next she comes to London she would love to see us again, and stop by our house for some egusi soup :-) She introduced us to her excellent band: there was Janet, her back-up singer, Jeff played the drums, Nicola played the Guitar, Rodi played Bass and Didier played the key boards. They all took a bow, while we all clapped and cheered for them.

In all, it was a great show and a really good performance by Asa. I think I'm now her biggest fan! Her band was great too, so the quality of the music was excellent. I wish she could do another show in London before the end of the year, I'll definitely be there. The only downside was that it started late and it was a Monday so most people had to leave immediately the show ended to get home.

Here are some of my amateur photos of the gig:

My Birthday, Appreciating Life and Writing

2008-05-08T18:19:00.000+01:00

It was my birthday last weekend. At the beginning of the year, I kept on remembering that I would soon hit the "quarter of a century" mark and I thought it was so scary. I kept thinking: "What have I been doing since I was born? Have I made my mark on the world around me? Am I accomplishing my goals? If I was to review my life thus far, is there a legacy I can leave? Is my life and inspiration to others? Am I really fulfilling my purpose?" and so on. I was discussing these questions with my sister one day and she said, "You have to look at the things you have achieved so far and count them as blessings, then figure out the next set of goals you want to aim for". That cheered me up and inspired me, so as my birthday approached, instead of having a panic attack, I was able to relax and celebrate the totality of my few years of existence on the planet. And I look forward to many more! I get that feeling of "make time count" now, because every second adds up so quickly that I know I must utilise the rest of my life well. Well, because I don't know how much of it I have left you see. Funny enough, I actually feel good about growing older every year now, but maybe you should ask me again in ten years.

Putting all these sober reflections aside, I planned to let my hair down and have a good time so I had a party! It's not everyday one gets to reach a milestone in life is it? So I invited hubby, a few old friends (and some new ones too!) to celebrate with me, including two of my favourite girl bloggers: Mimi and Aloted. It was my first time meeting Aloted because we narrowly missed each other in Nigeria during the Christmas/New Year period last year. We all had fun at the bar on Saturday, eating, drinking, dancing, taking photos and generally having a great time. I got loads of presents too and I can truly say I had a fabulous birthday party. (I have a wishlist if anyone still wants to get me a present .. lol).

I don't know if this is a sign of growing older, but I've noticed that I'm now appreciating the people around me a lot more than I used to. It's not as if I've ever taken my family and friends for granted, but there is definitely something different. I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently and afterwards, I felt so blessed to have her in my life. She's one of the people that I know will give me the last clothes off her back if I needed it. Then my mum came to visit as well and I have also started appreciating her more. Then my sisters... they are like God-sent angels and they have been so supportive lately. Then there's my hubby, it seems I now look at him through different eyes. He truly is an amazing person and I'm blessed to be his wife. I hope I never forget that in all things, it is the people that love me and the people I love that have the most impact in my life.

I'm still working on my writing and it's so slow! I'm now appreciating all those books I see on the shelves in stores. I can now imagine the writer, taking time everyday to write each word down one by one. I can visualise how many times they wrote something and tore it up because it didn't sound right. I can picture them editing and re-editing their work before they got to the final draft. I can see them adding or taking out a character or sub-plot. Gosh I now know that writing a good story is not as easy as it looks! Sometimes I wish it were easier and I could just transpose all the thoughts in my head somehow and it would make sense to anyone that comes across it. But I can't. I have to physically write it out and read it out to myself until I get it right. And even then, I should be open to criticism.

Anyway let me not bore you off my blog with my rants, who sent me eh? It's getting warmer in England now (finally!), the sun is out and so are the miniskirts and shorts, ice-cream and lunches in the park. I'm out of here to enjoy the rest of the daylight. Who am I kidding, I'm off to my class! Hope you enjoy the rest of your week and you have a lovely weekend!

Next Trip, Stress and Stuff

2008-04-28T19:17:00.000+01:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I last updated my blog. Time has flown by so quickly. It's not that I've had nothing to say or nothing has been going on in my life, quite the opposite in fact. I actually came to my blog determined to update it last week, I had so many things running through my mind. But after staring blankly at the screen for ages, I thought I'll give it a rest until I can bring myself to write.
The last month has been a particularly busy one. When I wasn't busy with work, I was travelling, and when I wasn't travelling, I was stressed out with my writing career. And upon all, I have been feeling ill with all kinds of unusual symptoms! I feel a lot better now health wise, I didn't go to work today so tat I could go and see the doctor. But I'm still stressing over some decisions that I have to make, and the answers seem to be eluding me. I guess I have to pray harder. Anyway on to the gist:

I've heard that once you get bitten by the travel bug, there is no cure! I've found that to be very true. It's like once you go on one trip, you want to go on more! So it is with this in mind, that soon after hubby and I came back from Belgium, we planned two short trips when we both had a break from work. We went to Sweden first, then Italy.
I'm getting used to Passport Control officers scrutinising my passport more closely when I arrive at airports. When we arrived in Sweden, we were in front of a queue that was moving quickly until we got to the desk. The lady stamping the passports spent less than 30 seconds looking at the red British and European passports, but when shown a green one, she checked on a list beside her desk and asked us many questions, before she was satisfied that we were okay to enter her country. Hubby and I just smiled when we finally got to the other side. It seems like when it comes to immigration matters, Nigeria is always on some dodgy list or the other so immigration officials have to ask us more questions.
We found our way from the airport into the main city centre by taking one of those airport transit coaches, that dropped us right in the Central Station. We walked around for a while, comparing the city of Stockholm with cities in UK and Belgium. I thought it looked quite different as the architecture of the old buildings were slightly different in Scandinavia compared to Western Europe. Again, we were glad to find that a lot of people speak English quite well. It was interesting to hear English spoken in a Swedish accent. I liked the language because it's somewhere between English and German so it was quite easy to guess what the signs and words on display meant. When we started getting tired and cold, we had lunch and then set off to find our hotel.
Either we suddenly became bad at reading maps or we were reading Swedish maps upside down, but it took us ages to find our hotel. We got lost a few times, but in the end we managed to find it. For the rest of the evening, I was too cold and tired to go looking for any more excitement so we just chilled indoors eating dinner and watching Swedish television until the next day.
The next morning we headed out to the town centre again, first we wanted to go to the Tourist Information Centre to get maps and guides to the city. But we couldn't find the office anywhere! So we decided to just wing it, and wander around on our own. What's the worst that could happen? We didn't get lost in the end, we managed to find a lot of interesting sights around Stockholm by following other tourists and checking the Street Maps in the city centre. Eventually we found the Old Town, the museums, Old Royal Palace, shopping area and a few other interesting sights. We stopped to have lunch at the Central Station and chilled out for a bit. We resumed our exploration of the city till evening, strolling through the city centre when we noticed a group of people of all races coming out of a church. Out of curiosity, we decided to pop in. It seemed like the Sunday evening service had just ended and people were meeting and greeting each other. It felt exactly like a church back in England, except that they were speaking a different language. A few people smiled at us, some people just looked at us with curiosity. We didn't stay long, we just strolled in and strolled out. It was a bit silly, but fun actually. On our way back to our hotel when it was nightfall, we finally found the tourist information office. Typical! After we had navigated our own way around the town. In any case, we noted the spot and decided it was still worth a visit the next day.
The next morning, we checked out of our hotel because we were flying out that night. We decided to make the most of our limited time in Stockholm. I wanted to browse the shops while hubby wanted to do other things, so in the end we split up and went separate ways. I went to the main shopping areas and noticed that there were a lot of H&M shops around, then it dawned on me that H&M is a Swedish company, so it made sense. I had fun wandering around, window shopping and mentally converting all the prices from SEK to pounds in my head. Eventually I bought a lovely scarf and a top and went to the tourist info centre to pick up a list of more attractions. But there didn't seem to be anything else I could do in a few hours so I met up with hubby for lunch, again in the main central station. We swapped gists of our adventures and while we relaxed, we were people-watching and noticed a difference between Stockholm and London. The people seemed to be a lot more laid back and chilled out compared to Londoners. Even at 5.00pm when we were expecting the hustle and bustle of rush hour, most people still strolled around casually. We took one last stroll around, but soon it was time for us to head back to the airport, so we said our goodbyes to Stockholm and got on the coach back to the airport. The next day we headed off to Venice... but that is another post for another day.

Here are some photos from Stockholm:

I'm excited at the moment though. I've got a birthday coming up soon and it's a milestone! I'm excited to be reaching another milestone in my life, but I'm thinking it's almost unbelievable! When was I a 9-year old running around and getting excited about reaching double figures? Now I'm a big girl! I'm planning to have a get-together with my friends next weekend. I'll let you know how it goes! Hope you enjoy the rest of your week!

PS: Thanks to the "update police" for checking up on me!

Asa (Nigerian Singer)

2008-03-28T17:09:00.000Z

I've mentioned this talented lady before but I don't think I did her enough justice. I've been listening to her album over and over again and I still can't get enough of it. It's so so cool. I first heard it when I was in Lagos over the Christmas period and I fell in love with it instantly. So much so that I went and bought two copies of her CD immediately, one for me and one for a friend. I played it non-stop until I got back to the UK. When I gave my friend her own copy, she fell in love with it instantly too. Last Sunday, I played it in the car and another guy heard the first three songs and wanted the album. Then he played it at work and his boss wanted it too! There's just something about her music that captures you and blows you away. The album has now been released in the UK (you can get it from Amazon ) and it's getting great reviews!

I'm such a big fan of hers, so you can imagine my excitement when I found that she will be playing a gig in the UK soon, London in May. (For more details see her page at MySpace ). So if you are an Asa fan in the UK, don't miss a chance to see her in concert. I plan to go and I can't wait to see her perform her songs live. My favourite songs from the album are "Bibanke", it's so soulful with a hint of sadness but the music lifts you up and "Fire on the Mountain", the music is simple, but lyrics are deep and they make you think.

Here's a video of her first single "Fire on The Mountain":

Belgium Trip

2008-03-27T21:09:00.000Z

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a nice time at Easter and didn't scoff too many Easter eggs. I usually like the Easter weekend because it cuts down two of my working weeks to four-day weeks! I had a good Easter break different from the norm, hubby and I went off to explore three cities in Belgium and we had a really nice time.

We arrived in Brussels on Friday and walked around a bit before going off to find our hotel. Unfortunately we didn't really get to explore it much because it was snowing most of Friday. It's quite a big city, very similar to London, and was quite easy to navigate around. We did notice that there were a lot less CCTV cameras in the Metro and the city centres than you would find in the UK. The people we met were quite nice and friendly. Initially, I had been worried about how we would get on since neither of us speaks French or Dutch, but it turned out most people also speak English there too, if you ask politely. When we first arrived, a man came up to meet us and said something in Dutch. Hubby and I shook our heads, then he spoke some rapid French, and we still shook our heads. Finally he spoke to us in English and then we could have a conversation! Experiencing that makes me want to rekindle my desire to learn a new language though! It would have been lovely to understand what people around us were saying. Maybe that should be on my to-do list for the later part of the year.

On Saturday we took the train for a day return trip to Brugge, which is a lovely tourist town just about an hour from Brussels. I preferred Brugge to Brussels, because it had a nice small town feel to it and there were more interesting things to see and do. It has a canal going through the main streets, and we went on a boat trip on it. There was also a bus tour and a horse-drawn carriage trip around the city, but hubby and I decided to walk around instead as advised by our guidebook. We discovered lots of interesting independent shops with the things that Belgium is known for: beer, lace shops, antique outlets and of course, not forgetting the famous Belgian chocolate shops. There were huge Easter eggs in the chocolate shops, all looking so tempting. I could stay in the chocolate shops for ages. Eventually when we got tired of walking around, we went to have a meal and chilled out for a bit before we continued our exploring. In the evening, we hopped on the train and headed back to Brussels. For dinner I tried the local dish "Mussels in Brussels" which is mussels cooked in a white wine and garlic sauce served in a huge pot with fries. It was different, but I enjoyed it, well I love seafood.

On Sunday morning, we took another train to Antwerp and that was nice too. It's also a big city with it's own Metro system and lots of interesting architecture from previous centuries. We explored the city centre as much as we could, walking around, mingling with lots of other tourists, taking photographs and noting down all the places of interest in our tourist guide. Our travel guide had said that it would not be possible to see all that Antwerp has to offer in one day though. And it was true because we wanted to go to the zoo and I wanted to see the fashion museum but we didn't have enough time. Before we left though, we got some souvenirs (Belgian chocolates!) from the shops to bring back home, and we had dinner, finished off perfectly with tasty Belgian waffles and ice cream! On Monday we had a little time to see Brussels before heading back to England. It was a short trip but it was fun and I would love to visit Belgium again in the not so distant future. For now though, I'm back in the UK, back to the real world – of more work and less fun, lol. I'm already looking forward to my next trip.
Here are a few photos from the trip:

I'm celebrating today: it's my mum's birthday and I just want to thank God for keeping her alive to see another year. The past year came up with unexpected things, but I'm just grateful that she is alive. I spoke to her this morning and she was really joyful too. I know she will live for many many more years... Amen. I'm rounding off my gist at this point; hope you have a lovely weekend!

Easter Time

2008-03-20T13:27:00.000Z

It's almost the Easter weekend - yay!! Easter has come earlier than usual this year. Until yesterday I couldn't get into the holiday mood much. I had been feeling a bit down last week since Sunday the 9th. I wasn't coughing or sneezing, but I had headaches and absolutely no energy so I was lethargic and fatigued. I had to take a few days off work to see the GP and he just said the usual stuff: you should eat healthy, take exercise and have lots of rest etc etc. So I rested at home for a while doing nothing. I didn't even have the energy to do anything useful with my time. But I started getting bored, so on Thursday I finally dragged myself to work but it wasn't until Sunday before I finally started to feel better.

The weather in England hasn't exactly been cheerful either in the last few days. Even though it's Easter and spring is supposed to be here, it still feels very much like winter, which doesn't help. There are lots of nice spring and summer clothes in the shops now, but as the temperature stubbornly refuses to go up and weather forecasts are predicting snow and other woes over the Easter weekend, everyone is still wrapped up in their winter jumpers, scarves and gloves. I'm tired of wearing black, brown and grey already! I can't wait for the warmer weather so that we can all start to wear nice spring and summer colours like green, yellow, white, pink, orange, blue etc.

With Easter almost here, it means Lent is almost over too! I think I've benefited a lot from giving up Facebook in the last month. I suddenly found that I have more time to do other important stuff when I am at my computer (lol). I needed to get it out of my system for a while, so I've proved that I can survive without checking it 10 times a day! Now I hope I can have a healthy relationship with Facebook because I've realised it's a useful tool, but I should never let it control my time.

Hubby and I are hopping over to Belgium to spend the Easter break. I haven't been there before so I'm looking forward to it. Travelling has always been one of my hobbies but I had left it dormant for so long to pursue other things. So this year I have decided to revive my interest in seeing the world, broadening my mind and learning about other people and places. I think travelling is a great way of getting an education outside of classrooms, films and books: you are actually there in the adventure, experiencing things for yourself. I have been daydreaming for years about travelling all over the world and I don't want to postpone doing it anymore. So now is a good time to start, one city at a time.

I hope you are planning to enjoy the holidays too. Let's not forget that it's not all about chocolate Easter eggs and bunnies though. It's about reminding ourselves that Jesus came to earth to make the ultimate sacrifice of love: He gave His life for us! So He is the reason for the season. Hope you have a great Easter break!

"Phone-versation"

2008-03-04T22:37:00.000Z

I've been quite busy in the last week, hardly doing anything apart from going to work, attending my classes and a bit of writing here and there. I'm looking forward to something to break the monotony. Maybe a party, a holiday or some great news. Fingers crossed...

I was in a taxi the other day and the driver received a call on his mobile. He's not allowed to put the phone to his ear whilst driving, so he put the call on speakerphone and the following conversation ensued:

Cab Driver: Hello?

(There was this very excited female voice on the other end)

Excited Voice: Hi Rob! Guess what night it is!

Cab Driver: It's Friday night. Does that mean it's my turn to buy the coffee and donuts?

Excited Voice: No! It's Donald's turn. But that's not why I'm calling!

Cab Driver: Ok, so what's the reason for your call?

Excited Voice: I asked you to guess what night it is!

Cab Driver: I don't know, you tell me.

Excited Voice: It's Traffic Light Night!!!!!

(At this point I was curious too and I listened with interest)

Cab driver: What's that then?

Excited Voice: You know, Red, Amber, Green!

Cab Driver: That's good, so you know your traffic lights.

Excited Voice: No, it's for the party tonight!

Cab Driver: Oh the party?

Excited Voice: Yeah, it's the dress code! You wear Green if you are on the pull and you are hoping to meet someone, Amber is if you are not sure but you are open to offers and Red is a definite No, No, No!

(I'm thinking this is fascinating)

Cab Driver: Oh right, so what time does the party start?

Excited Voice: It starts at 10 o'clock. All of us are going, so are you coming?

Cab Driver: I'm still on the beat, but I'll finish in an hour.

Excited Voice: Great! We'll be at the bar. So what will you be wearing?

Cab Driver: I don't know yet, but I'll go home and get changed and meet you there. Just make sure there's coffee and donuts.

Excited Voice: Okay!! Byeeee!!

LOL! I thought that dress code is a brilliant idea. I repeated the conversation to hubby and after we had a laugh over it, he said if he got an invitation to that party, he would wear green just to confuse people. I said I would turn up in Amber. I think some guys would go for the girls wearing Red just for the challenge....

Hope you enjoy the rest of your week!

Wrong Blogger Connection

2008-02-21T19:03:00.000Z

Her blog was one of the first blogs I came across soon after I joined blogspot in 2006. She came to my blog to leave a "Welcome to Blogville!" comment, so I decided to pay her blog a visit. I enjoyed reading her archives so much that I immediately bookmarked the link. She came across as a very down-to-earth, fun-loving and intelligent person, with a great sense of humour. I started visiting her blog regularly, leaving comments and urging her to update.

From her posts, I got to know more about her. We seemed to have a lot of things in common. We were about the same age, she was a Christian like me, we had similar hobbies and interests. I found out that she lived in Lagos, had just finished her service year and was working in one of the new banks. She was single and looking to meet Mr Right. Her many tales of disastrous dates she went on kept her readers hooked. Sometimes though, she wrote inspiring and encouraging posts that everyone could identify with. Her blog became very popular in blogville and I even forwarded her link to some of my friends who were not bloggers to read.

One day I wrote a sad post and she sent me an email after reading it to cheer me up. I was very grateful and soon we started corresponding by email and we became blog-pals. Then one day I got a Facebook friend request from a name I didn't recognise. I ignored it, until the same person sent me a message, and it was my blog pal! Somehow she had tracked me down and discovered my identity. I didn't mind at all, and I was actually flattered that she took the trouble to search for me on Facebook, and that she was willing to reveal her own identity too. I accepted her friend request at once, and we became Facebook pals as well. I went through her albums and I saw that she was really pretty. It turned out we even had a mutual friend who had gone to the same university as she did. We kept in touch regularly, writing on each other's walls and leaving comments on each other's photos and stuff.
Then towards the end of last year, I sent her an email:

"Hey girl, guess what? I'll be coming to Lagos for the Christmas and New Year break! I should be around for three weeks. Do you want to meet up?"

I got a reply a few hours later. She sounded excited and her reply was:

"Wow girl that's great! We must definitely see o. Let me know exactly when you'll be landing. I can't believe I'll soon meet you, gosh it feels like I've known you for ages already. My number is xxxxxxx. Give me a call when you land in my town"

I looked forward to meeting her, as I thought it would be one of the highlights of my trip.

I arrived in Lagos one Wednesday morning and was met by my aunt and uncle I would be staying with. Immediately I could, I got a sim card and bought credit to inform my friends, including blog-pal that I was in town. I had so many people to see, places to go and things to do in the three weeks I would be staying for. My aunt was also planning to celebrate her 50th birthday party on Boxing Day. She wanted it to be a grand affair so I joined her and my cousins with the running around and preparations.

After a few days, I noticed that my aunt and her husband were not on very good terms. They seemed to be either snapping at each other half the time, or ignoring each other completely. I asked my cousin about it, one afternoon, when we were in the car together.
"Kemi, what's going on with your mum and dad?"
She looked at me and I could see she wasn't keen to explain. "Well they are having some problems"
"I noticed. What kind of problems?"
She concentrated on the road ahead of us. "I can't explain right now" she said. "I'll give you the full gist later".
I was curious but I could sense her reluctance and I decided to let it go, hoping that my aunt and uncle would work their problems out.

Meanwhile I had been speaking to my blog-pal regularly and we finally arranged a time and place to hook up. We decided to meet at the Silverbird Galleria. I was so excited to meet her that I got my cousin to drop me there an hour early. While I waited for her to arrive, I browsed the media store, bought some books and a magazine. Then I went to the top floor, bought some popcorn and browsed the mag to while away the time. Soon I got a text from her and I texted back, telling her to meet me at the top.

I recognised her immediately I saw her from her facebook profile. She was even prettier in person. We greeted each other like we were long-lost friends, which in a funny way, we were. Soon we were chatting away about this and that over lunch . We got on so well that no one observing us would guess that we were just meeting each other for the first time. I took some photos with my camera and I promised to put them on Facebook later. After the meal, we saw a movie and afterwards, she had to leave as she had a long journey back home. I wanted to meet her again if it was possible.
As we walked down the stairs, I asked her, "Are you free on Boxing Day?"
"Uhm, let me see, I've got a wedding, one of my colleagues from work. Why?"
"My aunt is celebrating her 50th birthday that day"
"Oh I see, whereabouts is the party happeneing?"
I told her the venue of the hall we were using.
"Oh that's not too far from the reception venue. I'll see if I can leave the reception early to come for the party, but I'll let you know"
"It would be great if you could make it" I said.
Outside the galleria, we hugged each other goodbye and then she got into a cab, while I waited for my cousin to come and pick me up.

On the day of my aunt's party, my cousins and I were so busy helping to set up everything and attending to guests, that I almost forgot my blog-pal sid she might come. I did notice that my aunt and uncle seemed to have put their problems aside, at least for the benefit of the guests. They were smiling and posing for the cameras throughout the party and my uncle didn't leave his wife's side for one minute. They even looked the part, when they were on the dance floor together.
While I was busy serving a particularly fussy woman, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and I saw my blog-pal smiling at me. I was so glad she could make it.
"Hi girl!" I said. "Please take a seat, I'll join you shortly"
But then she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't stay. I have to go"
I was surprised and I said "Ah ah, you've just come now. Wait for me I'm coming"
She shook her head and took my arm. "I can't stay, I'm in a hurry. I just came to see you"
I asked a steward to attend to the woman I was serving and walked outside the hall with her. She looked uncomfortable as we made our way out of the hall. I was slightly disappointed that she couldn't stay, but I said okay and I saw her off to the exit . She waved at me and promised "I'll call you tomorrow!"
So I hugged her and waved goodbye.
I turned back to go into the hall and as I was taking the stairs at the entrance, I saw my cousin walking towards me as fast as her tight Ankara skirt and high heels would let her. She had a very angry and disgusted look on her face.
"What are you doing with that girl?" she demanded. "Where do you know her from?"
I told her that blog-pal was a good friend and a very nice girl.
My cousin looked as if she was about to slap my face.
"That girl is my dad's girlfriend!" she shouted. "She's the one causing problems in their marriage! How dare you invite her to my mum's party?"
I stared at her in shock. I could not reconcile the words she was saying with the lovely person I had just said goodbye to.
"Wh-what do you mean?" I managed to stammer.
"I said she's my dad's mistress! And you're telling me she's your friend?"
"I'm so sorry, I-I didn't know", I croaked.
"You better hope my mum didn't see both of you together" my cousin hissed and turned her back to me, walking away.
I stood there, still reeling from the information I had just heard. It just didn't make sense. I couldn't believe that the girl I had been reading her blog for months, become virtual friends with, and hung out with a few days ago, was the same person dating my uncle and threatening my aunt's marriage.

I had the feeling that I wouldn't be hearing from her again.

Disclaimer: This story is not completely true. It's a mixture of real events and some of my over-active imagination.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T16:45:00.000Z

Happy Valentine's Day to you! Hope you have a nice day, perhaps with an unexpected gesture from a secret admirer or your partner. I'm having a lovely one with my permanent valentine. Hubby tricked me this morning and at the end of it I discovered a bunch of roses, chocolates and a card, which was really sweet! Unfortunately though, the rest of my day is going to be somewhat dry. I'm at work all day and I have a class to attend this evening so I won't be back home until very late. But we've got some groovy plans for tomorrow and the weekend. I love celebrating valentine's day although I don't think we need one day in the whole year to remind us to love or appreciate each other. We should do that at every opportunity shouldn't we?

Today reminds me of how we used to mark valentine's day in secondary school. Then it was fun to anticipate getting a card and presents from your "secret admirer" or your boyfriend. Well for most girls it was fun especially the pretty and popular girls back in school. Meanwhile for the guys, it was a competition to see who would get the most impressive things for the girls. Guys would save up for months to buy the cutest teddy bear, the biggest box-card, the odd bottle of wine, chocolates and tinned cookies. And if a girl was lucky, her admirer would be a rich guy that could afford to get her picture frames and personalised jewellery. There were often touching love letters to go with the gifts which the lucky recipient and her friends would laugh over and dissect every single word.

Unfortunately for the guys there were no guarantees. I remember one poor chap who tried to impress a girl with a card and chocolates, but she sent it back to him because he was too 'razz' in her opinion. Then there was another guy who had spent all his money on expensive stuff for a girl. He went all out to impress her with dozens of stuff, but we later heard that she slapped him the next day! And who can forget about the guys that would suddenly stop talking to you at the beginning of February and resume the friendship three days after the 14th? Classic moves!

Anyway back to the present, when I went out for my lunch break this afternoon, there were long queues at all the supermarkets, full of guys clutching cards, chocolates and roses. It was all very amusing. And a guy in my office is cracking me up now, saying valentine's day has turned into nothing more than a con by retailers to charge extra for flowers, cards and dinner in restaurants. While I agree with him to some extent, I still think it's up to individuals and couples to make of it what they want to. Funny enough, I read somewhere that couples are more likely to have a big row and break up around this time. That's probably due to dashed hopes and unreasonable expectations.

Well that's about it for my ramblings today. I hope you enjoy the day and the rest of your week.

February, Lent and Other Gists

2008-02-05T22:53:00.000Z

Hey everyone! I hope you are having a great week. It's February and not just that, it's the fifth day already! Time is really flying by. This year, February has 29 days so make the most of the extra one! I trust that you had a great time in the last month and are looking forward to the rest of the year. Even if January wasn't so great, well there is the rest of the year to look forward to.

Usually about this time, a lot of New Year resolutions have been forgotten or discarded. If you made any resolutions at the beginning of the year, are you still keeping them? Or have your resolutions been swept under the carpet, in the busyness of day-to-day life? Filed somewhere between "I'll come to that later" and "I don't have time"? Or perhaps you've just simply forgotten about it and gone back to business as usual. It is really hard to make changes in life and procrastinating is one of the main stumbling blocks to progress. Sometimes I've made resolutions with all seriousness and before I know it, I've found myself slipping back to my old ways. It takes time and concerted effort to change or break a familiar pattern or habits. So if you really want to change something, keep at it and if you fail once or twice, don't give up. Pick yourself up and start again.

Speaking of resolutions, the period of Lent is upon us again. It seems to have come earlier this year hasn't it? Anyway, this afternoon my friend and I were talking about what we could give up for 40 days. At first I thought my life is pretty boring - I don't watch much TV, don't drink, don't smoke, don't eat too much chocolate, etc - so what could I give up? Then I thought, well I do spend too much time on Facebook. So that's what I'll be doing, no Facebook for me for the next 40 days. I'm actually looking forward to it. I think I will find that not going on facebook for a while will free up my time to do more productive things! I'll let you all know how it goes.

Update on my last post: I'm back at work! Yeah I decided to take up my previous employer's offer and I started again yesterday. When I walked into the reception yesterday morning, everyone was like, "Hey, welcome back!" "Did you have a good time off?" "How come you're back?" etc etc. It feels funny and yet familiar to be back at my old job, seeing my old colleagues and getting familiar with the things I used to do a few months ago. It's only till August though, so I'm not planning to put down any firm roots. There's no way I would stay in the job permanently, knowing what I now know. I would never be fulfilled in my career being an accountant again so I have to keep up with my writing. Someone said to me "Now you are back and soon it will feel like you never left". I smiled when she said that, but in my mind I knew it will never be the same. I've tasted what it feels to be free of the "dead-end job" trap and I know that I never want to be stuck in it for the rest of my life. Life is too short to be wasting my time in an unfulfilling job! That's what will motivate me to continue pursuing my other career goals because my dreams, goals, passion and skills are not in this profession. I'm doing this because I need some liquidity! I had actually forgotten about the journey to work aspect, so it's been funny getting back into the rush hour commuting malarkey again. That's the one part I definitely won't miss when I leave in the summer.

As Lent begins tomorrow, it's Pancake Day today! I'm making some, and I plan to eat them with bananas and whipped cream, absolutely delicious. Have fun eating yours and enjoy the rest of the week. Stay blessed.