Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm Upset


In the past two weeks I've been feeling rather down and discouraged. I love my family but sometimes they get on my nerves!

It all started when my mum came round to visit for a few days. I suspected something was up when she told me over the phone that she and I had a lot of "important things to discuss". If I had known I would have done all I could to avoid the discussions. But she's my mum, isn't she? I can't exactly ban her from coming to visit me in my house.

So she came, and promptly started talking about babies, or the lack of them in my house. Gosh! I wanted to tell her to shut up, it was that bad. I know she's worried, concerned and what not, but can she please just drop it! It's not up to her, it is something she can't control. Usually when we talk on the phone, I can switch off the conversation when she mentions babies, but I can't exactly shut her off when she's in front of me. She got me so upset that I retreated into my shell and hubby had to ask me what was wrong. When I told him, he promptly went to tell my mum to stop bothering me. But by then I was already very upset.

*sigh*

That wasn't all, oh no. She kept asking me about "when I would start working again". I explained I am working, the fact that I work from home doesn't mean I'm idle. But she kept going on and on. Especially when hubby and I told her we would be moving back to London soon. She and my aunt just said, "Oh good! So you can start working again!"

*shaking my head*

I got so tired of explainingto everyone, I actually got quite depressed. I even started considering taking a job again, just so that they can shut up and get off my back. By the time my mum left, she had done a fairly decent job of making me feel like a failure. But I came to my senses after praying about it and God helped to see things clearly again.

Oh dear God, please help me to shut out negative voices and focus on what You have called me to do.

25 comments:

  1. Mums!!! Hmm. No mind them jare. You are not a failure and I love the fact that your husband told your mum off. To thine own self be true. All other voices are just that. Voices.

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  2. aaawww... sori lovey! dont mind them jare1 jus be urself! only God knows the right version of that, so as long as he's d one steering ur boat, everyone else can say watever they want,it dont matter!!

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  3. FG darling. Dont let them use their 'Good intentions' to discourage you. Be strong and listen to your heart. Your husband sounds like a wonderful and supportive man. Lean on him and take your strength from him. God keep you!!

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  4. when every1 esle condemn you...He who created you will always be there for you. You are not a failure. Everything will happen in good time...babies will come and your mum will see the product of your hard work.

    I totally relate with this...my own wahala is getting a bf n getting married... but God always console n guide me.

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  5. I'm really sorry to hear you were upset by your mum.
    I hope you're feeling better now...don't ever forget that you don't have to take it in...you can't control what they say but you sure can control how you react to what they say...
    You are a success...best believe it!
    so you're moving to London?YAY!!!:-)

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  6. He makes all things beautiful in His time, so rest assured that He has not forgotten you, and keep living life at full crush. Relax..

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  7. I guess its a perfectly natural response to be upset; especially considering the apparent tenacity with which the issues are being pursued by your peeps.

    Your last line nailed it -- shutting out all negative voices and doing waht He has called you to do is the only way that makes sense..

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  8. I think our parents tend to look at the current generation in the light of their own generation. They were not adequately informed that so many things have changed.

    Somehow, we have to be diplomatic about it. To be harsh to them is to hurt their old age. And to allow too much negatives is to be infected with sadness. We must learn to strike a balance and if possible, avoid the condition that make provocative comments possible.

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  9. Sending you some big hug from here, I know you feel sad and depressed, mum...we all love our mums but marriage, babies, somethings are private and for you and hubby to decide when baby making is right. Just let her know you both have your own plan. Mummy loves you so much, it's in our Nigerian culture to have babies after big white wedding...I know how you feel, you not a failure, you special and you have lots of people in blog world that know you ain't no failure. Keep your head high and do what you want to do, this is your one life to decide on what makes you happy. Take your time sister. later

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  10. I like the ending.

    You'll be fine, FG.

    Remember, lots of us are rooting for you.

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  11. e yaa.. Im sorry to hear this.. so unlike you.. Cheer up.. irony of it is that its the ones who loves us that hurt us most when you expect them to understand..Pele.. It is well ehn.. I wish I could take u out for a coffee now.. :) I dont like seeing positive people when they are down.. I trut u're ok now..

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  12. {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}

    pele dear... your mom is just doing the best she knows to do... Thank God that you have a very supportive hubby... and you know what... even though our parents think they know what's good, better and best for us... God is the ultimate one.... so you know what you have settled between you, God and your husband... stay true to that... it's all good...

    sending some sunshine your way...

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  13. I'm sure that just like a lot of other mums, she feels she's doing whats's best for you. I'm sure that if she knew she was causing you so much pain, she wouldn't go on the same way....Take heart..."it shall come to pass". A lot of us have to endure this one way or the other from our "loving mums"...
    God has beautiful plans for you and in HIS own good time, He'll unfold them one after the other. Afterall, His ways are not our ways. Just hang in there, your miracle is on its way..."men (and women) will see it and glorify your father in heaven..."
    Plenty plenty love.....

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  14. Pele dear, mummy was just concerned that's d way I see it and I like the way ur hubby handled it by telling ur mum to stop bothering.

    Dearie u know u are not a failure, don't even think dat close at all.

    We do have these adults in our lives and we really can't help it. I am sure the best way they feel they can show concern is by bugging us always with wat we consider as none of their business.

    Nothing do u joo! takia

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  15. I believe God has heard your prayer, from now on the positive voices will be stronger than ever. God will hold you by His own mighty right hand, and trust me...there's no better hand to hold. *Hugs*

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  16. hey hun. it is ok. when we go through trials and fire, He is there to walk with us and at the end, when we come out as refined as gold, those who scorned us will rejoice with us.

    *kisses*

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  17. "Oh dear God, please help me to shut out negative voices and focus on what You have called me to do."...I say Amen to that...

    sorry u felt upset, but ur mum was genuinely only being concerned as any gud mum wld...my mum does same (stylishly)...thank God ur hubby is supportive (as is mine)...keep the faith burning dear...

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  18. dont let the negative voices overshadow the good ones, keep praying to god and all will be alright

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  19. parents sha..

    Pele dia..it is well u r certainly not a failure. Hugs from moi!

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  20. I'm sorry you had such stressful moments with your mom and aunt...it is not easy. But you have struggled to make the decisions you made and the only one who needs to understand why you're doing things is your husband, and he's already on your side. You will persevere, and one day it will make sense to the naysayers and doubters. It is hard though to completely shut them out because they are family. You will be ok...pele.

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  21. You know how Mama's are...don't worry. Reading your stuff, I reckon you have a wonderful mind, so one thing I'm sure you're not is a failure. You'll be okay.

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  22. Well..you're not my twin by chance...lol..i can TOTALLY relate! It is well, you're not a failure!

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  23. Anonymous7:23 PM

    Typical African parents man. I know how you feel although its not babies everyones on my neck about but getting married *sigh*.

    Your not a failure. God has great plans for you....allow Him to guide you.

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  24. ...most difficult in life is to make a descision and stick by it. But, it sure is very pleasant, not necessarily 'cos the descision is 'right' but, 'cos 'tis something we thot through.

    It may not be easy, but, stick with it we always have to.

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  25. maybe u might find a good use for this season and teach us from your experiences as you've done with your blog- a girls journey down the aisle.God wont put more on you than you can bear, this story is for glory FG!

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