Social Issues: Domestic Staff

If you follow TTEC on Solomosydelle's blog, you may have come across some of the recent posts on "Househelps and Sexual Abuse" which have been featured lately. I found those posts quite worrying, and they got me thinking about the way the vast majority of middle and upper class Nigerians treat their domestic staff - people like housemaids, gatemen,/security men, drivers, gardeners and so on. The other day, I was discussing the issue with some friends and we all agreed that, in general, they were treated in an appalling way.

From what I've observed, they are treated like second-class citizens in the homes where they work. They often don't share the same living quarters with the rest of the family. Or they are given the worst spaces possible. They use a different set of utensils to eat, for some reason. They are given cast-offs of the children's clothes to wear.

Then they are spoken to in awful ways. Sometimes I would visit a friend and she would be speaking with me nicely and politely, and then turn around to use a harsh and intimidating tone on her housemaid, and call her abusive names. I don't understand it. Sure you can use a stern tone when you are giving instructions to an employee but is there a need for the constant stream of abuse? Would any of us take that kind of attitude from our managers at the office?

Which brings me to my next point. Domestic staff have little or no employment rights. They don't have regular working hours, due to the nature of their work. But then they also don't have any benefits. They don't have holidays, they don't get days off, they don't have anything called a social life. They don't get sick days off or sick pay. Sometimes they don't go to school and can't learn any skill while they are working for their masters. I'm sure none of us professional ladies would ever imagine working for a company that didn't give us any time off or holidays, or allow us any social life. We would protest, but we give the same treatment to our own employees. I have even heard women complaining bitterly when it's Christmas time, and their maid wants to take a couple of weeks off to go and visit her family. It's like, she's not human right? She doesn't need time off to go and see her family. Never mind that madam has taken time off from her own job so that she can enjoy her own Christmas holiday.

Furthermore, the physical violence towards them is just... I don't know. Women who won't raise a hand to strike their own children seem to see no qualms in beating their maids to a pulp at the slightest offence. For some reason, the maid always deserves a beating whenever she makes a mistakes, whereas their children do worse things, but they don't get beaten. Why? What makes it different? Would any of us tolerate physical abuse at work? Why do we think it is okay to hit our domestic staff?

The funny thing is that these mistreatments are not limited to any type of woman. I have witnessed women from all spheres of life mistreating their domestic staff. Even women who should know better, like pastor's wives, lawyers or human right's activists. We can speak out against so many injustices in the world, but for some reason, we seem to turn a blind eye to the ones we do right under our nose.

We can argue that we can't trust them, they are rogues, thieves and what not. But for the amount of money they are paid, and the useful service they provide to us, most of our domestic staff don't get treated well. So of course, they don't have much of an incentive to behave properly.

Has anyone tried to put themselves in their maid's shoes? You are taken away from your family and sent to the city to work for a strange family. You could be scared, lonely and homesick, but you have to put all those emotions aside and get on with it. Then you have to endure working from sunrise to sunset every single day of the week. If you are really lucky you will end up working for a nice family that will treat you well. But the majority are treated harshly by everyone in the family - from the madam, to the oga, to the children. And you dare not complain. In fact, who will you complain to? Who will believe you, if you say your madam is mistreating you, or your oga is making sexual advances towards you? The best you can do is to run away. But where does that leave you? Out of a job, broke and lost in a big city.

I hope we can all start making some small changes to the way we treat our maids. It may just be a small change we make everyday, but it would make a whole world of difference to someone. I would like to imagine a world where housemaids can point to the time they spent with their madams and say that those years were one of the best times of their lives.

Food for thought.

Anyways, have a great week ahead!

FG

As The Year Draws to a Close

Hey everyone! Hope you had a Merry Christmas and you are rounding up 2009 on a great note. I had a nice time over the Christmas period, with time spent hanging out with family and friends. And of course, lots of things to eat, and the exchanging of gifts. Apart from the small hitch of some of my Christmas shopping being delayed in the post, and hence some people not getting their presents, it was all good.

That is, until I heard the news about the Nigerian terrorist. Until that Boxing Day, I never thought I would hear of a Nigeria attempting a suicide bombing... ever. In fact, for many hours, I was at a gathering of friends and we were all speculating that perhaps the guy was not even a real Nigerian, and was just an imposter posing with a Nigerian passport. Until CNN, Sky News and the BBC released (and keep releasing) further details of who he is and the stories surrounding how he became a terror suspect. I have read countless blogs, articles and commentaries about the story and all the angles, even some wild, crazy speculations. All I can say is, the guy did Nigeria as a nation and all Nigerians no favours at all. It's hard enough trying to shake off the negative images we already have as fraudsters, a corrupt nation, a failed state, etc now we have to deal with the added 'terrorist' tag. I can just imagine how much more difficult it will be for ordinary, decent, honest and hardworking Nigerians to get a visa, or travel around the world. I know how I feel every time I travel around Europe and my passport is given extra attention at immigration desks, and I am subjected to extra scrutiny. This latest incident will only make it worse. Sigh.

So what can I do? As one person, I can only continue to uphold Nigeria's name by showing the rest of the world that one individual's actions cannot and should not define who the rest of us are, as a nation. I will continue to proudly declare that I am a Nigerian, and no, I am not fraudulent, neither do I have any intentions of blowing up airplanes.

Moving on, I am thankful to be alive to see 2009 coming to an end. It really did fly by so quickly! Thankfully, I'm ending the year with many many many reasons to be grateful to God. I've grown older and wiser, learnt many lessons, received tangible and intangible blessings, made new friends, travelled to new places, enjoyed some new experiences and fulfilled some dreams. Yes, it's been a wonderful year.

I'm looking forward to 2010, it looks like it's going to be a very interesting year. Here is wishing everyone a wonderful year 2010! May we spend the year in perfect health, may we move many steps forward in achieving our dreams and may we all be far better people in 2010 than we've ever been. Happy New Year in advance!

Trip Summary and Observations

Hey guys! Hope you've all had a great week and a wonderful start to the year. I think I need something to jolt me back into reality. I've been back from Lagos since last Wednesday but it seems my brain is still in holiday mode. It's been slow to get back into my usual routine, well until yesterday. A friend came to stay the night, so I had to get up and get active.

I've got lots of stuff to do. I feel like I carried over most of my goals from 2008, so I have to step up my gear a bit with accomplishing my targets. I have a few new goals for this year though, one of which is to finally start driving in the UK! Here's hoping I achieve that. I started the process last year but I got distracted towards the end of the year. I also want to take my writing up another notch, aim to finish my first novel this year and start working on a second one. But one thing at a time.... I still have a way to go with catching up on my favourite blogs and entries from the last three weeks, so I'll be back in full mode next week.

I had a great time in Lagos with family and friends. My schedule was really tight so unfortunately I didn't get to meet any bloggers like I did last year. I attended a few sallah parties, two weddings, the Farafina literary event (where I met Chimamanda - yay!!) a friend's bbq, two Christmas parties and organised a get-together with my sisters. Add to that, meeting up with friends, reunions, and a trip to Ghana, all adding up to a busy time. It was lovely though, doing everything in the searing heat of Lagos. As soon as we got off the plane, myself and my fellow passengers didn't waste time in shedding all the coats, sweaters and other layers of clothing. It was a relief to go out of the house without checking the weather report first. I tell you, being back in the cold weather is not fun! Since I got back, I have hardly gone out in the last week, apart from the very necessary trips to the supermarket and post office. Even when I do, I have to wrap up in so many layers. The contrast is so amazing.

Fortunately for me, I didn't have the huge culture shock I experienced in 2007 but sometimes I saw things that struck me as odd about the culture in Nigeria. When I point out something, I get strange looks from people.

One thing that became really obvious to me was the way people in Nigeria regard cars as the ultimate status symbol. I found it strange that in church people give testimonies about how God has just blessed them with a brand new car. Or people count cars as part of their assets, for example, "that man is very rich, he has five cars". Companies also reward their employees with cars as part of their remuneration package. On the roads, scores of new flashy cars abound, and it seemed to me that people would rather drive around a flashy car than eat good food or live in a fine house. Somebody even told me that the kind of car you drive determines the amount of respect you get wherever you go. I found this strange but amusing, because to me, a car is just a vehicle to get you from one place to the other. As long as it works we're good to go. I guess it's a Nigerian thing!

Something else I noticed was when I go into people's houses, the living room is usually very well kept, nicely decorated and tidy. But the kitchen and the loo/bathroom is usually a totally different story! I don't get it. Why would you not want every room in your house to be presentable. It's as if people forget that guests also see other parts of your house, not just your living room. Personally I'm even more particular about my kitchen and bathroom than I am about any other room in the house. But that may just be me.

I was looking forward to attending church again, because I had missed the lively and bubbly praise worship sessions in Pentecostal churches, something I don't get in my church in the UK. But when I went to church I couldn't help but compare the different styles of teachings. After the service I didn't feel inspired or empowered at all. I felt like somebody had just shouted some instructions at me from the bible, with no explanation of how I was supposed to become a better Christian. I felt like I was expected to meet those high standards on my own. I also got the feeling that the leaders of the church carried themselves as if they were a little higher than the members so I could never hope to be one of them unless I attain a certain level of perfection. Now I may be wrong but those were the things that struck me.

Amusingly, I knew what to expect with stuff like making rapid, and I mean rapid telephone calls, NEPA and their frequent power cuts, the traffic in Lagos and the delightful mosquitoes. I just prepared myself mentally before hand. Still, a trip to Nigeria is never without its surprises. I'll talk more about that, and my trip to Ghana in the next post.

Hope you have a really nice weekend.

Off to Lagos

I'm in a real hurry as I type this. I'm travelling to Nigeria in less than 24 hours and I still have a ton of packing to do, all while trying not to carry excess luggage. Hubby is laughing at me at the moment because I tend to stuff too much into my boxes and then start worrying that I'll be charged for extras at the check-in desk.

I was ill last week, which was the last thing I needed because I hadn't started shopping, packing or getting ready for my trip. I couldn't do anything for two days. Doctor came round, said it was a virus and gave me a load of pills to chew on. I'm feeling much better now but I have to be careful not to stress myself too much. I cycled out yesterday and I started feeling dizzy so I'm definitely not pulling that stunt again until I feel 100 percent.

I'm looking forward to seeing family and friends again, and also a few bloggers. I also have four weddings and two reunions lined up already so I know I'm going to be out and about a lot. It should be fun! Well, anything to escape the freezing cold going on here at the moment :)

I'll be in Nigeria until early in the new year. I'll try to update my blog while I'm away but I can't guarantee that. So I'll just wish everyone a very happy month of December, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in Advance. (It's surreal to think that 2008 is almost over isn't it?)

I'll bring back goodwill, photos and gists :)

Later, friends!

Positive Stuff

Hello blogville! I'm in a much better mood this week, for many reasons. It's been a defining moment in history for one! But apart from that, I've had several things happen to cheer me up.

First of all, I'm really glad to witness the fact that Barack Obama won the election! I know how significant his victory is to people of colour, to people who thought they can never break down some barriers. His victory has given hope to thousands of people all around the world that indeed, anything is possible. And that we can achieve our dreams, no matter how far-fetched they sound at the beginning. Imagine, a few short years ago, it would have been impossible to believe that a mixed-race, relatively young man of Kenyan descent would campaign and win the US presidential election by a clear majority. But it has happened right before our very eyes! My big congratulations to President Obama himself, and also to his family and the team behind him. For the first time in history, America has a black family living in the White House!

I'm sure they (Obama and his advisers) know the enormity of the task ahead of them. They must know that the eyes of the world will be on him, and every decision he makes will be scrutinised closely. They are definitely aware that Obama now has to prove a point to the rest of the world: that he deserves all the confidence the voters have in him to deliver on his promises. I just hope the American people who voted him into power, will be patient with him. It can't be easy inheriting the legacy of outgoing President Bush, with the heavy weight of expectations on his shoulders.

Now if I can dream, I hope for the day that my own country Nigeria, and indeed many other countries in Africa will have visionary leaders like Obama that we can believe in. I hope that one day the voice of the people will matter. I hope that one day soon, we will have leaders who want to serve the people, not rule and plunder them. I hope that one day, we will cast away the lust for power, ignorance, selfishness, greed and injustice, to give way for true democracy, peace and unity in our country. I await the day that I would say with even more pride: I am a Nigerian.

Okay, enough of politics! In other news.... last week, hubby and I went on a short break to the city of Porto and we had a lovely time. It was a nice change of scenery and a break from the usual humdrum which was exactly what I needed to get out of the gloom. It was fun hearing another language, trying different food, sampling another culture and exploring a new city. Porto is such a nice chilled out city, compared to London, it's definitely a breath of fresh air! The people are really nice and friendly too. More than once, seeing hubby and I poring over a map in confusion, people have walked up to us and offered to help us find our way around! We had fin walking over bridges, taking a river cruise, going on a tour of a Port Wime making factory and more. I would definitley recommend it to anyone looking for a place to have a relaxing city break for the weekend. Some photos:

I didn't plan this at the beginning of the year, but now I'm going to Nigeria this December by God's grace. How it all happened is still a bit of a mystery to me, but before I knew it, I found myself making plans and getting a ticket one day. Still, I don't mind though, going to Nigeria should be fun! I'll be seeing family and friends that I haven't seen for a year, so that's good. I might even meet up with some bloggers as well! If you are going to be in Lagos this Christmas, feel free to holla!

And finally, my writer's block has cleared, so I'm going to make the most of this time. I've finally updated my writing blog, and I'll be putting up a couple more stuff on it in the next week, fingers crossed. It feels good to be productive again!

Later blogville, hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Only in Nigeria

I think I've given up asking some questions. Every time I make an observation, I get funny looks from the people around me. Like the day I was in traffic and I asked "Don't people know the roundabout rule?" or when I asked "How come the roads don't have pavements?". So I have decided to stop asking. It doesn't mean I have stopped observing though, it just means I am making a mental note in my head to jot down later.

I'm currently reading Teju Cole's book, "Everyday Is for the Thief" and it rang so true, almost as if I wrote it myself. His descriptions are so vivid and the observations about life in Lagos are on point. I guess some things may not be so obvious to someone who lives in this wonderful city, but to outsider eyes, there are many things that immediately strike you as odd or interesting. If you haven't read it, I would encourage you to do so.

Well apart from that, I'm enjoying Lagos with it's many ups and downs. I feel like I have to "re-learn" my culture. Which is something I find really strange. While living in England, I felt like I was trying so hard to hold on to everything that made me a Nigerian. But now that I'm back in Nigeria, I feel somewhat like an outsider. And I haven't even been away for that long! I can imagine that there are other people like me who feel that way, who have been outside the country for much longer. Do you experience a culture shock when you went back home after a few years? I don't even know whether that's a good or bad thing.

I think a lot of people who migrate don't know or expect the full extent of changes they will go through in a foreign country. You know you experience a different climate, different food and so on. But you don't really expect the changes that happen within you. How you start seeing things differently. How you start adopting the view and cultures of your new surroundings. And then suddenly when you visit your home country you feel like you are seeing things for the first time.

Well I would end my little moment of "deep thinking" here. Just until I come back online. Stay blessed and favoured!

Many Thanks, Other Stuff

Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers about my mum. I'm really grateful and I pray that God will bless you in return! Mum is doing much better now and I'm trusting God to fully heal her. She has already improved a lot since she arrived and I can see the difference. Hubby and I are going to see her tomorrow and we are going to her physiotherapy session together. I'm glad I can go with her, we may even have a small bonding time by going shopping afterwards! That is if she feels strong enough to brave the shops on the high street. I'm excited about that, I must admit.

Well my writing's been going well so far. I'm working on a short story at the moment and it's harder than I thought! I thought you know, it's just a short story of no more than 5000 words - how hard can it be? But I've realised it is hard. I have to tell the whole story and come to a conclusion in a short space so it's not easy at all. So that's my first learning experience about writing a short story. I'm still working on a novel as well so my head is full of different characters and story lines right now, really cool! I've actually started dreaming about the characters too, is that weird?

In the past week I've "met" and spoken to some amazing people who are writers and I've been awed, challenged and inspired. I feel like I've got so much to learn about how to continually improve my writing, how to carry out research, seek out inspiration and overcome writer's block. I formed the "Nigerian Writers" group on Facebook and I've met more writers that way and it's great! I'm developing a new obsession: stalking other Nigerian writers and their work. I'm not just interested in Nigerian writers though, I think I'm just particularly curious about how they express themselves through their writing.

Speaking of Nigeria, I've just heard about the currency reforms the Central Bank is proposing. They are proposing a revaluation of the naira so that the current denominations will be a hundredth of their value ie N1oo.00 will be worth N1.00, the N20 note will be the highest in circulation etc. I've read about the supposed benefits the revaluation will have. It will reduce the amount of notes that people have to carry around, it will make the exchange rates with the Dollar and Pound Sterling more comparable and so on. But I just can't help wondering: Did they not change the Naira notes a few months ago? Why didn't they reform the value then? Why do the new notes need to be phased out again? Are there not more pressing economic problems to sort out first? How about lowering inflation and creating more jobs? Would revaluing the naira make any difference to the average trader in the market or the average salary earner? I very much doubt it, but we'll see.

I know I shouldn't look back and regret things I can't change, but sometimes I can't help wondering why I had spent all that time at uni studying the wrong degrees, and then graduating and doing the wrong career. I feel as if all those years were a waste and I'll never get them back. An acquaintance of mine called me recently, we went to uni together and I knew her through a mutual friend. She was calling to invite me to an event and then she just asked: how is work? I told her I had left my job. She asked to why and what I did now. I told her I was now a writer and she was like wow, just a few days ago, she was thinking of leaving her job to follow her dream of starting her own business but she was afraid. I told her not to give in to her fears anymore because further down the line, she could end up regretting not taking the plunge earlier. She said she would think about it, I really hope she goes for her dream!

This summer has been such a dampener, it's so annoying. Imagine, it's raining in the middle of August! Hubby and I had planned a day out last week, but the weather forecast had predicted rain so we decided to move it to this week. Well it's been raining this week too, so we've had to cancel our outing. Sigh. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, I should think of the green grass and the lovely flower hedges enjoying all the rain. Hope you are all enjoying the summer where you are.

419 Scammers Busted

I saw this video on youtube and I was quite upset. What is the problem in Nigeria? High unemployment and poverty. That's why many graduates turn to scams to try and get rich. I think it is unfortunate but not enough reason to turn to criminal activity.



Nigerian 419 Scammers Busted

The truth is, it is embarassing to all Nigerians. At least it looks like something is being done about it now. I think it is time for honest and decent Nigerians to stand up against these rascals ruining our country's image everywhere.