Saturday, September 30, 2006

Questions and Answers

I took this from Zaiprincess' Blog and filled in my answers. You can do the same!


1. What time did you get up this morning? 9.00am. It's Saturday!!

2.Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. Much more versatile

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? My Super Ex-Girlfriend

4. What is your favorite TV show? Desperate Housewives

5. What did you have for breakfast? Grilled sausages and Eggs

6. What is your middle name? Unique Yoruba name... lol

7. What is your favorite cuisine/meal? Chinese

8. What foods do you dislike? Goats cheese, raw steak (once had a nasty experience..)

9. Your favorite Potato chip? I prefer Plantain chips, proper Naija stlye

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Jamelia's "Something About You"

11. What kind of car do you drive? None yet

12. Favorite sandwich? Smoked Salmon and Cream cheese bagel

13. What characteristics do you despise? Jealousy, Back-stabbing, Lying

14. Favorite item of clothing? Nice jeans and satin top

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? The Maldives

16. What color is your bathroom? Cream

17. Favorite brand of clothing? None, I collect them all

18. Where would you want to retire? Spain or Switzerland

19. Favorite time of day? 5.30pm - The end of the working day!!

20. Where were you born? Lagos baby

21. Favorite sport(s) to watch? Soccer and tennis, but I also like gymnastics

22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? Hmmm...

23. Person you expect to respond first? Anyone

24. What laundry scent do you use? Comfort

25. Coke or Pepsi? None

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night owl

27. What size shoe do you wear? Do you want to buy me some?

28. Do you have pets? Nope

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? I'll let you know when it happens

30. What did you want to be when you were little? A singer or fashion designer. What happened????????

31. Favorite Candy Bar? Lindt Chocolates

32. What is your best childhood memory? Going out with my daddy, reading Enid Blyton books, my 10th birthday, gisting with my sisters, etc

33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Mostly admin, research or accounting jobs, thank God.

34. What color/type underwear are you? That's for me to know

35.Nicknames: Errrm.....

36. Piercings ? Ears

37. Eye color? Brown

38. Ever been to Africa? Been there? Born there!

39. Ever been toilet papering or rolling? Nope

40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes, it hurt, but I got over it

41. Been in a car accident? Once, escaped unhurt

42. Croutons or bacon bits? Bacon bits

43.Favorite day of the week? Used to be Thursday, now it's Saturday

44. Favorite restaurant? Chinese restaurant nearby

45. Favorite flower? White roses and tulips

46. Favorite ice cream? Tiramisu

48. Favorite fast food restaurant? Benjys

49. What color is your bedroom carpet? Brown

50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never failed it

51. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? My good friend in Nigeria

52. Which stores would you choose to max out your credit card? Debenhams, ALDO, H&M, Zara, Topshop, Monsoon... just let me win the lottery....

53. What do you do most often when you are bored? I dream about winning an Oscar or the Booker Prize

54. Bedtime? 11pm these days

55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? Hubby perhaps?

56. Last person you went to dinner with? Hubby

58. What are you listening to right now? Unpredictable - Jamie Foxx

59. What is your favorite color? Purple

60. Lake, Ocean or river? Ocean, it's 5 minutes away

61. How many tattoos do you have? None.

62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Chicken of course

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Sisters in "Bomb Threat" Drama

My silly sisters were the cause of a recent scare at the Arundel Mills Mall. When they told me the story, it was so funny, I nearly collapsed cos I was laughing so hard. But my sister said it was not funny at the time o! They were questioned by the police, fire department and Anti-terrorist squad and they were nearly arrested and fined thousands of dollars.

They had gone to the mall for some last-minute shopping as one of them was flying back to the UK later that night. When they got tired of carrying her luggage, they stashed the bags under a bench and wandered off. Unknown to them, security cameras had seen them dropping the stuff and walking away.

They came back 30 minutes later, to find that the whole mall had been evacuated, the shops and cinema had been closed down, there was a yellow "Do Not Cross" police line, there were cops and firemen everywhere, tv reporters running about, people were panicking... a full scale drama. When they asked around, some people said there was a fire, some said there was a bomb. As they attempted to cross the police line to retrieve their luggage, a policeman asked them where they were going. They said they wanted to go in and get their bags that were still inside. The policeman asked them where their bags were. Eventually the story came out that it was their luggage that caused the panic. They were taken away for questioning. Their bags had been opened and policemen were taking pictures of the contents, ready for destruction. Fortunately they got the bags back just before they were destroyed.

Read the news report and watch the video HERE

The police didn't like it cos they wasted their time, but I found it really funny. I'm sure that has taught them a lesson never to leave their luggage unattended. My sister's nickname is now "Bin-Laden". LOL

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Changes

It is said that "Change is the only constant thing in life". How true that is. We never seem to be content with the way things are, we are always looking for something to change. If it is a positive change, then all for the better.

Lately I have been thinking. I definitely need to make some changes in my life. Some big and drastic changes. The big change seems to be coming from the direction of my career. In secondary school and college, I studied Economics because I enjoyed the subject. Then at uni I drifted into Accounting, and soon found myself graduating with an Accounting degree, getting accounting jobs and studying for professional accounting qualifications.

But now, I've started having doubts as to where I would be in 30 years time if I remain an accountant. I noticed that I am not so fulfilled in this profession anymore. I like my current job because it is not too stressful, I like the company and the people I work with, but something is just not right. There is nothing fulfilling about it.

I met a lady last weekend who is an accountant and working on a major finance project for her company. She was telling me about her job, talking about the project she is working on, describing every single detail. She sounded so passionate and enthusiastic. She said "I love accounting, and I love working on exciting projects". In my mind I was thinking, "Wow! She actually loves her job!". Afterwards, I searched myself, I definitely cannot say that I love accounting with so much passion. To me it's just a profession I trained for and a job to keep some money coming in. Nothing more. I don't actually derive fulfilment or pleasure from any aspect of my job. If I was to leave the job, I won't miss it one bit.

After more soul searching, I came up with some more thoughts that have been nagging my mind for a while. I had ignored them previously because I thought there was no way out. Things like: my work-life balance is rubbish, I hate working the full-time 9 - 5 route because it's so inflexible, I am answerable to layers of management people above me, I can only take so many holidays in a year, I can only get so much money for my sweat; I am working to make someone else rich, and there seems to be a limit to how much I can progress in a certain time. Plus there are so many strict rules, rules and rules! Rules of dress code, conduct in the office at all times, office politics, office gossip etc etc.

All this has led me to one conclusion: I am definitely not suited to working in an office for the rest of my life. I would go mad. So what do I do now?

I feel like God is telling me that I am not fulfilling my purpose. I can sense that I will have to make some drastic changes soon. The only thing holding me back is: fear. Fear of failure and all the things associated with it. That, and the feeling that I have wasted all my schooling years doing something only to discover that I'm not happy with it. Dad wouldn't be too pleased with that one. But we'll see...... watch this space.

Baby Palava!!


Being a Nigerian, you know what your culture expects from you at every stage in your life. But, boy! does it get very annoying sometimes.

I got married last summer, right in the middle of my Masters degree (studying for a masters and planning a wedding at the same time, absolute fun!!). Finally, that put an end to the "when are you getting married?" questions. But wait o. It didn't end there. It seems like the minute I was out of my wedding gown, the next thing everyone started asking is "So when are the babies coming?". Hold on! I need to finish my degree and get a good job, we need to plan our finances and even get used to being married first before rushing to have babies. Calm down everyone.

Now barely a year later, the questions have started again. Last week I called my uncle to say hi, and the first thing he asked me was, have you called to tell me you have given birth? (!!!). My in-laws have been asking if there are any problems, my aunties have been sniffing, my cousins, my friends, my sisters, my sister's friends have been chatting........even my mum (who last year said she wasn't in a hurry to become a grandmum) has been using "style-style" to ask about plans for babies. See me see peace o!

At the moment, I'm not even ready for all that. I have just started getting used to the responsibilities of combining career and wife duties. I am not ready to start nappy duties as well. Even if I was ready to start popping out the babies, hubby and I can only do so much. The rest is up to God isn't it? Out of all the people chasing you to launch the babies sef, how many of them will come and live with you to look after him/her? Besides, once you start giving parents the feeling that they can dictate to you, then it will never stop. They might just come one day and say they want 5 grandchildren (I laugh and shudder to even imagine that).

All of them should leave me alone jare. I'm still young, not even 24 yet, I am not a baby factory, and I cannot make babies on my own. When God is ready to give me the child, then I will be ready to accept. No one else dare dictate!

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Wise Words


A friend sent this to my email box:

*A Soulful Relationship* by Reverend Ronald McFadden

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples.. and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together. Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on their voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interests. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion. " Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight. Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Hmmm, wise words indeed.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

A "Normal" Day

Today was a normal day in the life of the girl called me. Nothing special. My day went like this:

I woke up at the usual time after "snoozing" my alarm twice. Finally got up, had a shower, got dressed in a rush and left the house. Hubby dropped me off at the station and I took the train to work. I had no time for breakfast as usual. Read the morning newspaper on the train. Got to work, greeted my colleagues, made a cup of coffee and settled in for the day's activites. Ages later I looked up at the clock and it was only 10.30am! I thought the time was dragging really slowly. Eventually it was lunch time. Went to the shop and decided to choose the healthy option and have Thai Chicken soup instead of a burger. Work dragged on sha, but finally it was time to go home. Said goodnight to co-workers. I left the office, got on the train back home. It was packed as usual, but I managed to get a seat. Got home and was greeted by hubby. He had even started preparing a meal! Had dinner while gisting with hubby about our respective days. Checked my emails, read some blogs and chatted with my friend on MSN. Decided to go to bed before midnight. So, it was just a normal day really. Or was it?

I seem to have taken a lot of things for granted today. If I analyse my "normal" day closely, I see that I have indeed been given countless blessings. I have decided to acknowledge some of them. Perhaps this will prevent me from complaining when I am feeling discontent:

Today, I was able to hear my alarm and open my eyes. Today I was healthy enough to get out of bed. Today I was able to wash myself. Today I have a job to go to. Today my husband is still alive and we are together and happily married. Today I had a safe journey to work. Today a bomb did not go off in my city. Today I had money to buy lunch. Today I didn't get sacked. Today I had a safe journey back home (I even have a home to go to!). Today nobody in my family died. Today I did not have any accident or injury. Today my husband didn't lose his job. Today I enjoyed communicating with my friends, I have good friends. Today our house was not repossesed. And it didn't catch fire. Today I am safe in the knowledge that I am God's child and He will never leave me or forsake me. Today I had angels watching over me. Today I can go to bed safely knowing that the angels are going to watch over me and my family as we sleep.

So this was my day. I have had a wonderful day. I thank God, without whom my day would not have been so smooth. Please God, help me to ask less and thank you more. Help me to grumble less and praise you more. Help me to want less and appreciate more.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Our years on earth


Our speaker in church told this story one Sunday:

At the beginning of creation, God called man, a bull, a monkey and a dog to tell them about their time and purpose on earth. God spoke to the bull first and said: "You bull, you have 50 years to live on earth. Your strength is your main character. You will work very hard all your life but you will get little reward for it. You will toil and sweat for the benefits of others. You will be used in the farm to pull trucks and tractors and plough the fields." The bull said to God, "If my life will be so miserable, then I don't need 50 years on earth. Please let me give you 30 years back and live for 20 years on earth". God agreed to this.
Next God spoke to the monkey, saying "You will have 40 years to live on earth. All your life will be to amuse others. You will jump about, dance and make faces at people and they will laugh at you". The monkey said to God, "If that is all I will do, then I don't need 40 years on earth. Let me give you 20 years back, so I will live for 20 years" and God agreed.
God then called the dog and said, "You will have 30 years to live on earth. All you will do is to sit in a house and bark at people around. Whenever people are coming in or going out, you will bark at them". The dog replied, "That sounds boring. I don't need 30 years to do that. Please let me live for 15 years and I will give you 15 years back" and God agreed.
Finally God said to the man, "My child, you will have 20 years to live on earth. Your days will be full of fun and enjoyment. You will have no worries. All your needs will be taken care of. Your job is just to enjoy all the pleasures of life. And after 20 years, you will come back to heaven to live with me". The man said to God, "Only 20 years!! Why did you give me only 20 years on earth? You have just described a life full of pleasure and yet you gave me only 20 years to enjoy it. Tell you what, let's make a deal. Since the bull has given you 30 years back, the monkey has given you 20 years back, and the dog has given you 15 years back, why don't you give those years to me? Then I will have a much longer time to live on earth to enjoy myself". God asked the man,"Is that what you really want?", and the man said yes. So God granted him the extra years.
And that is why man's life is thus: The first 20 years of our lives are full of fun and pleasure. All our needs are met and we have no worries. For the next 30 years of our lives, we work very hard, we get stressed, we toil and sweat and we grow tired and weary. We have no time for enjoyment. The next 20 years of our lives, we are laughed at by younger people, we spend our time entertaining and making faces at our grand-children. And for the rest of our lives, we have nothing to do, so we just stay in the house and bark at people going out and coming in.

LOL!!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Cool Weekend

I have this sweet little niece. She's actually hubby's niece, but since she met me, she's become my best friend. She's fashied her uncle's side. Hubby is jealous but I can't help it if his niece prefers to hang out with me now........ I met her 4 years ago and she took to me instantly. Even her mum doesn't understand our special friendship. She told me one time that she now uses my name to bribe the girl. Stuff like: "If you eat your veggies aunty will come and play with you" or "If you are naughty, I won't let you wear the skirt aunty bought for you". Mums and their tricks sha.

Anyways I love the little babe. She is sweet and well behaved. And she is a right little madam. At her young age she already knows more about fashion and make-up than most teenagers. She told me she wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up. And she made sure she was a flower-girl at our wedding telling me well in advance, even before her uncle proposed!

We spent the day together yesterday. I picked her up and we had a nice girly day out. We planned to see a movie. However, it dawned on me that going to the cinema with an eight-year old seriously limits your film choices. So we went bowling and had pizza afterwards instead. It was fun though. She told me all about her club of which she is the leader, how she solves quarells between her group of friends in school, the boy that has a crush on her etc. I listened to her stories and made comments. I then imagined her in another 8 year's time. She will be one interesting teenager. I can't wait.

Today was cool too. For a while I had felt God was distant from me and I couldn't reach him. But today as I stepped into church I felt God's presence again. That was very comforting. You know you just feel at peace when you feel God's presence. It reminds you that the Rock of your life is there right beside you. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is right by your side. Nothing is more comforting than that. I guess I need to learn how to trust that He is still there in the background when I can't feel Him around. That requires a different level of knowledge and trust. I will get there soon, amen!

So, a new week begins tomorrow. May God guide and protect all of us. Have a good week.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Underneath the Exterior

It's so true, you cannot judge a book by it's cover. People can be soooo different in reality from how they appear on the outside. This was brought home to me again this week. There's this girl who works in my department at work. I see her everyday but we have never exchanged a word. She never smiles, never socialises with the rest of the department, always takes her lunch alone and leaves the office without saying goodbye to anyone. She has been with the company for a year but no one knew much about her.

But yesterday I met this girl in the kitchen and we started talking. After lunch we spent the rest of the afternoon sending emails to each other and I learnt so much about her. Turns out that she is a nice person and she is funny too! And she has led a very interesting life, she can speak 6 languages including Arabic, German and French. She's also thinking of leaving the company to set up her own business. I think I've made a cool friend. Today she even came to my desk to have a chat, and we emailed each other again. It just goes to show that there is usually more to people than meets the eye initially.

On a completely different note - I have a question: Would you tell your good friend that her fiance was cheating on her? Even as you watch her happily plan the wedding? Hmmm.... tough one. A friend of mine said she attended the wedding of her good friend recently. Everyone (including my friend, her mum, and many of the bride's friends) knew the groom had been sleeping with another girl. But nobody wanted to tell the unfortunate bride because they didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Who knows how the bride would react if she had been told? The worst part of the story was that the girl the groom was cheating with was also invited to the wedding, and she boldly went to congratulate to couple and give the bride a hug! My friend called it "the hug of death". I accused her of not telling the bride about the sorry state of affairs long before the wedding day. Her defence was that the bride probably knew but deliberately chose to ignore it because she was desperate to hang onto the guy. Ah! God help all of us.

Secretly though, I wondered if I would have the courage to tell the bride if I knew her. Would I risk my neck and our friendship or watch my friend get married to someone who would never be faithful to her (no point hoping he will change after marriage)? I can't answer that question. I think I would prefer not to know. At least then I won't have that responsibility.

Friday, September 8, 2006

It's the weekend!

It's been a busy week. Going to work, and also resuming at college where I listen to my teacher droning on and on about accounting stuff ...... At least it's nice to know I can have a lie-in! Kind of anyway. Knowing me, I won't go to bed until 3am and then wake up at 8am because the other half of the bed is cold.

Hubby is away this weekend on official matters so I have the house to myself. I'm missing him, but I'm also enjoying my own company. I didn't have to cook dinner tonight, I won't have to cook anything special for breakfast and I can crank up my music without worrying about disturbing him.

Don't get me wrong, I love him very very much and hanging out with him is one of my hobbies. But I think it's healthy to take a break from each other once in a while and experience being "me" sometimes and not just half of a couple. Like most ladies I know, I like my space and I need some regular "me" time to reflect and recharge my batteries. I also need to keep my passion going for the things I'm interested in. I'm sure he feels exactly the same way when I go off on a trip on my own. We appreciate each other when we are reunited and we have more stuff to talk about. Win-win all the way.

Oh hang on... he's calling me....lol he says sleeping in a hotel room alone is not fun. I agree. Come back soon love.

Anywaysss for those in Nigeria to celebrate the Independence Day you can check out this concert happening in October HERE I must say I'm quite impressed. If Beyonce, Ciara and Snoop are going to perform at a concert in Nigeria, that's a good thing isn't it?

Anyway take care all, and have a good weekend. Try not to do something you would regret.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Why do we have to grow up??!!


Recently I have been getting bogged down with the fact that I'm growing older each passing day, week, month or year. I turned 23 in May but somehow my mind is stuck in last year and I still think of myself as being 22. I know I'm not old yet. It's just that the worries I never had when I was 15 years old, have started creeping into my mind. Things like: I need to get my career on track, sort out my spending and savings, buy a house, keep my relationship with God and hubby going sweet, volunteer at church to prove that I am not lazy or self-absorbed ... etc etc.

Sigh. I wish I could be a kid again like 14 or 15. Actually I wish I could be 10 years old again, when all my needs were sorted out by mum and dad and I didn't have a care in the world beyond doing my homework.

Look at me complaining as if I can do anything about it. The truth is, Mother Nature and Father Time are conspiring against all of us to drag us further and further into adulthood. Oh gosh. Soon I'll be old enough to look at my little nephew and tell him about the 1990s and he will think "Gosh auntie you're so oooooold!"

Maybe I'm a bit odd but I never wanted to grow up so fast. I know most kids my age when I was little couldn't wait to be older. They were in a hurry to drive, wear make-up, go out alone, etc. By the time we were 12 years old, some of my friends were already claiming to be 14 or 15. I would wonder, "where are you rushing to? why the hurry to grow up?" I didn't understand it. Heck, I had figured out that if we are alive for 80 years on this planet, we would spend a maximum of 16 years being a child. From 17 upwards you are considered an adult. So why waste the brief childhood and rush into adulthood? I enjoyed being a kid, we had more fun. We didn't have cares and worries and so many responsibilities. Adults were boring. They always looked grumpy, they were always tired, they always seemed to be in a hurry and they were always trying to cramp my style.

I remember when I turned 13. My parents called me to their room on the morning of my birthday to have "the talk". You know the one... "you are now a big girl... we have to tell you some things about the changes you will start to experience.... you have to grow up and become responsible... you are a role model to your younger ones.... etc etc" I listened to the gist and I thought to myself, kai this is the beginning of the end. And it was!

Anyways, back to the present day. I guess I will be stuck in the 22-year old mentality for a while. I'm not ready to move on yet. If I admit it to myself then I might lose the battle to stay in touch with my inner child. So it will be for now... maybe when I have a child of my own, I will finally grow up.

Settling In

Hiya! I've finally decided to start a blog. I had been hearing of "weblogs" everywhere, but I didn't want to join the herd as it were. Until I did a google search one day and the results led me to some Nigerian blogs. I started reading them and found them so interesting. One click led to another and now I'm hooked! Okay, I love writing so that helps. Here's to where this blogging thing will take me. I like the idea of having a diary, so I should enjoy putting my thoughts down here.
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