Thursday, September 14, 2006

Underneath the Exterior

It's so true, you cannot judge a book by it's cover. People can be soooo different in reality from how they appear on the outside. This was brought home to me again this week. There's this girl who works in my department at work. I see her everyday but we have never exchanged a word. She never smiles, never socialises with the rest of the department, always takes her lunch alone and leaves the office without saying goodbye to anyone. She has been with the company for a year but no one knew much about her.

But yesterday I met this girl in the kitchen and we started talking. After lunch we spent the rest of the afternoon sending emails to each other and I learnt so much about her. Turns out that she is a nice person and she is funny too! And she has led a very interesting life, she can speak 6 languages including Arabic, German and French. She's also thinking of leaving the company to set up her own business. I think I've made a cool friend. Today she even came to my desk to have a chat, and we emailed each other again. It just goes to show that there is usually more to people than meets the eye initially.

On a completely different note - I have a question: Would you tell your good friend that her fiance was cheating on her? Even as you watch her happily plan the wedding? Hmmm.... tough one. A friend of mine said she attended the wedding of her good friend recently. Everyone (including my friend, her mum, and many of the bride's friends) knew the groom had been sleeping with another girl. But nobody wanted to tell the unfortunate bride because they didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. Who knows how the bride would react if she had been told? The worst part of the story was that the girl the groom was cheating with was also invited to the wedding, and she boldly went to congratulate to couple and give the bride a hug! My friend called it "the hug of death". I accused her of not telling the bride about the sorry state of affairs long before the wedding day. Her defence was that the bride probably knew but deliberately chose to ignore it because she was desperate to hang onto the guy. Ah! God help all of us.

Secretly though, I wondered if I would have the courage to tell the bride if I knew her. Would I risk my neck and our friendship or watch my friend get married to someone who would never be faithful to her (no point hoping he will change after marriage)? I can't answer that question. I think I would prefer not to know. At least then I won't have that responsibility.


  1. LondonBuki12:45 AM

    I don't know what I will do... I once told a friend(ish)that her man was cheating on her and it back-fired, a couple of weeks later... she was back with him and abusing the life outta me. I have one or two friends I hope and believe I will tell but I pray I will not be in that kind of situation sha.

  2. Haba! No one wanted to be the bearer of bad news? At least the girls mother should have told her now! So they rather she destroy her life and her husband potentially open her ot a liftemie of disease and heartache because they are afraid to save the life of someone they claim to love.


    I think that lost friendship is worth it oh. you may hate me now, but I let you know something you HAD to know. I guess its easier said than done.

  3. @ Tori, don't mind them o. I really felt sorry for the poor bride that nobody had the nerve to tell her. Although I had a friend whose boyfriend was cheating on her amongst other alarming traits he displayed. Several times, she came to me crying and I told her to leave the guy . They are still together now and I am like the "home-wrecker". So you don't know if it helps really.

  4. this case 'm afraid but, not exactly sure i'd tell her, although, this depends solely on the level of our relationship. However, in a real situation, then and only then will i know what to do. A nice blog but, a tight senario.
    Yeah, almost everyone's nice by nature only that too often we don't go that extra mile to really get to know them.


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