Thursday, September 7, 2006
Why do we have to grow up??!!
Recently I have been getting bogged down with the fact that I'm growing older each passing day, week, month or year. I turned 23 in May but somehow my mind is stuck in last year and I still think of myself as being 22. I know I'm not old yet. It's just that the worries I never had when I was 15 years old, have started creeping into my mind. Things like: I need to get my career on track, sort out my spending and savings, buy a house, keep my relationship with God and hubby going sweet, volunteer at church to prove that I am not lazy or self-absorbed ... etc etc.
Sigh. I wish I could be a kid again like 14 or 15. Actually I wish I could be 10 years old again, when all my needs were sorted out by mum and dad and I didn't have a care in the world beyond doing my homework.
Look at me complaining as if I can do anything about it. The truth is, Mother Nature and Father Time are conspiring against all of us to drag us further and further into adulthood. Oh gosh. Soon I'll be old enough to look at my little nephew and tell him about the 1990s and he will think "Gosh auntie you're so oooooold!"
Maybe I'm a bit odd but I never wanted to grow up so fast. I know most kids my age when I was little couldn't wait to be older. They were in a hurry to drive, wear make-up, go out alone, etc. By the time we were 12 years old, some of my friends were already claiming to be 14 or 15. I would wonder, "where are you rushing to? why the hurry to grow up?" I didn't understand it. Heck, I had figured out that if we are alive for 80 years on this planet, we would spend a maximum of 16 years being a child. From 17 upwards you are considered an adult. So why waste the brief childhood and rush into adulthood? I enjoyed being a kid, we had more fun. We didn't have cares and worries and so many responsibilities. Adults were boring. They always looked grumpy, they were always tired, they always seemed to be in a hurry and they were always trying to cramp my style.
I remember when I turned 13. My parents called me to their room on the morning of my birthday to have "the talk". You know the one... "you are now a big girl... we have to tell you some things about the changes you will start to experience.... you have to grow up and become responsible... you are a role model to your younger ones.... etc etc" I listened to the gist and I thought to myself, kai this is the beginning of the end. And it was!
Anyways, back to the present day. I guess I will be stuck in the 22-year old mentality for a while. I'm not ready to move on yet. If I admit it to myself then I might lose the battle to stay in touch with my inner child. So it will be for now... maybe when I have a child of my own, I will finally grow up.