Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I Like Being Me

She was my friend, from way back in secondary school. Back then I was an awkward, insecure teenager not sure of who I was. She was the pretty and popular one, the confident one, the one with all the social skills. Everyone liked her – from the principal, to the staff and to the students. Everyone wanted to be her friend. I was the painfully shy and quiet one that hardly ventured out of my shell and the few close friends I had. I used to wish I was like her, I wished I had some of her beauty and her popularity. Fortunately, I wasn’t jealous of her and she was a very nice girl, so we got on brilliantly in spite of our obvious different personalities. We were very close friends throughout secondary school days; we had secret codes that only two of us could understand. She was the only person I could willingly allow to read my diary, which is saying a lot as I was quite a guarded person back then.

We remained friends after secondary school. We even went to college together, becoming friends with another girl and together the three of us formed a close knit group. After college I came to the UK to study and she remained in Nigeria, but we still kept in touch. The distance was never a problem, she came over once a year and a simple phone call was all it took for us to resume our friendship where we left off.

Okay, fast forward to last week. I logged onto yahoo messenger and she was online so we started chatting. We had been talking about normal girly stuff for a bit when I mentioned that I cut my hair off cos I wanted to start over and that’s when the conversation changed.

She said: “I don’t have the courage to do half of the things you do”

I was like “What? What things?”

She said: “You do brave things. Like cutting your hair and starting over. I could never do that”

I said: It wasn’t a big deal. I just didn’t like my permed hair anymore”

She said: “It’s not just that. You travel a lot, you eat all kinds of foods when you travel, and you quit your job to become a writer”

I said: “lol, that’s just me becoming more adventurous”

She said: “I wish I was like that. You’re my role model”

I can’t remember what I typed next cos in my mind I was like “REALLY!”

Thinking about our conversation later, something interesting struck me. I couldn’t believe that I had spent a lot time when I was younger wishing I was more like her, but all the while she was wishing she was more like me! It was quite a revelation to me that she could even think of me as her role model, something I had never even imagined myself to be, except maybe to my little sisters.

I’m glad I’m no longer that awkward, insecure teenager. I am now secure in who I am. It’s such a blessing to realise that I am the best person to be. God made me, ME for a reason and I’m not meant to be trying to be anyone else. It’s when I stop trying to be someone else that I appreciate who I am. And that’s when I find out other people want to be like me.

17 comments:

  1. awwww...this is a very lovely post.i felt like this with my bestfriend and sometimes i still feel that way.

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  2. rethots11:13 PM

    We never know who and who admires us or takes us as their role models, until we disappoint them.

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  3. Life is very funny.....

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  4. Had a very similar post recently. I totally feel you and know where you're coming from. Its good to celebrate who you really are :) Such a great feeling and very refreshing when you feel like this..Have a nice weekend :)

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  5. for some reason i think this is a cute post...awww at you and your friend

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  6. I can identify with the awkward painfully shy teenager. Somehow we seem to break away from that mould. I just tell people who know me now I am making up for lost time. lol!!

    No matter what phase we are in life, love yourself always cause God loves you just the way you are.

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  7. life can really be so funny. they people we admire sometimes admires us even more.

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  8. such is the mystery of life.....more reason why we need to appreciate ourselves and enjoy our lives without so much self-criticism and depreciation

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  9. Yep. Love yourself.

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  10. Is that a beautiful message or what? I love this! Imagine: being yourself is all you have to be. I find it so easy to forget that.

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  11. Love this post...:)

    I am also glad to be me!!!!

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  12. If this was FB, I would click the "Like" button. lol cute!

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  13. I love this post!!!

    You never know who you are making an impact on.

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  14. Awww this is so cute!! I know how she feels tho...I'm not brave enuf to do half the things u do!!

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  15. As they say, such is life. She is a very nice friend to acknowledge that..

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  16. interesting...I've learnt from this...thanks for sharing...

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