Faith vs Common Sense

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to." ~ George Seaton

For a while I've been pondering on faith, and its implications for the way I live my life every day. Sometimes when I'm at a crossroads and I need to make a decision, I often have a dilemma. Should I go with common sense or should I walk by faith? Do I go with my instincts? Should I make a list of pros and cons and use pure common sense to make a decision? Should I weigh all the options and go with the most "logical" conclusion? Should the way forward be the most "reasonable" one?

However, as a Christian who has decided to make God the CEO of my life, I've sometimes had to step back and wait for a different direction. The bible says: "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". The bible also says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding."

There are many examples of God asking His people in the bible to make decisions that totally make no sense. God called Abraham to leave all that he knew, his father's house and go to a strange land. God told Noah to build an ark when there was no sea or river around him. God told Gideon to go to war with only 300 men when they were facing an enemy army of over 100,000 soldiers. Each time, it required true faith to for each of these people to override their common sense and obey God.

Still, it can be really scary when common sense clashes with what you believe God is telling you to do. If God says: quit your job and become a full-time missionary in some remote village, what immediately comes to mind? Questions and doubts of course. Like: how will I survive without a regular income? What about my career? Will I be safe there without my family and friends around me? Etc.

Even the strongest amongst us wrestles with doubt sometimes. It's normal, it's natural, it's part of being human. But from my little experience, I'll say that in the end, common sense has its place but faith triumphs over it. As long as your faith is in God and what He has called you to do, you cannot go wrong.

• Common sense relies on your own limited abilities. Faith relies on God's unlimited ability.
• Common sense stops when things get rough. Faith keeps going when common sense is exhausted.
• Common sense says you should play it safe. Faith challenges us to step beyond our comfort zone
• Faith says one failure does not mean the end. Common sense says you should give up if it doesn't work the first time.
• Common sense limits you to only what you know. Faith empowers you to stretch your imagination.

Thanks for reading!

FG

Five Years

Last weekend, hubby and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. I honestly can't believe it's been five years already since I donned a white dress, walked down the aisle and said my vows. I can also honestly say that it's been the most awesome decision I've ever made.

Looking back now, I can't imagine how different my life would have been if i hadn't gotten married in 2005. Sometimes I try to visualise myself in a different setting, maybe living in a different place, doing a different job and so on. No matter what, I still choose my life now any day. My life now makes complete sense because God arranged it that way. So I've got a lot of things to thank God for, everyday. Sometimes I'm short of words to express how grateful I am when I think about His blessings towards me.

Hey so I've been married for just over 1825 days! In practical terms, it probably means I've cooked over 2000 meals and done more than 1000 washing machine loads of laundry. In that time, we've moved house three times and changed cars four times. We've been on nine holidays together, watched more than 300 movies together, laughed over a million and one things together. We've both made career changes, wrestled with our faith sometimes, made mistakes, but come out stronger. We've enjoyed the good days and learned from the rough patches. We've dealt with each other's flaws and learnt to appreciate each other's strengths. It's been a journey of discovery about myself and about him. I'm wiser now, than I was five years ago, and that's a good thing!

To celebrate, we had a photoshoot - cos looking at our wedding album a few months ago I realised it was so out of date! Then I organised a surprise party for hubby (it was also his birthday) and he fell right into it! lol, he swore to retaliate though, which I don't really mind. It was fun planning the party, making calls and sending texts right under his nose and he didn't suspect a thing! I guess he trusts me! I'm grateful for our friends that came (one of them is a blogger) and kept it a secret from him.

In everything, I'm grateful to God and so looking forward to the next 5, 10, 15 and more years of happy marriage!

FG

New Month and Updates

Hi everyone! Welcome to the month of June! Sheesh, I can't believe I didn't update this blog for over a month. That's not because I didn't have anything to say, but I've just been so busy! Where do I even start from now? May was quite an eventful month, even though I feel like it flew by and I couldn't slow it down long enough to finish doing all I had planned.

On a personal note, I'm thankful I had a good month, I have many many reasons to be grateful to God. He remains faithful, the only One in my life that has never and would never let me down. I'm grateful for another year added to my life, and the many joys I have enjoyed. I'm grateful for my family and friends, for my health and for peace of mind. I'm grateful for provision and protection, for God's mercies, favour and guidance. I'm grateful for answered prayers, and even pending ones.

In other news:



I've started working on a new novel. My previous WIP manuscript has gone up in smoke. While it was a painful decision to throw it away, I have had time to reflect on it and I reckon, no knowledge is wasted. I've learnt a lot while writing it and I dare say, that my writing has improved. I may return to it much later in the future, but I would have to do so much work to edit it, that I fear it may not be worth the trouble.


Myself and some of my fellow writers (of the In My Dreams It was Simpler series) were interviewed for The Mantle. It was a fun experience, and we were thrilled to be approached by Shaun Randol, the Senior Editor to do a joint interview. You can read the two parts of the interview by clicking the links below:

The Mantle Interview (Part 1)
The Mantle Interview (Part 2)

I've got a feature in this month's edition of Reconnect Africa Magazine, also based on the series book. It turned out really interesting, so do check it out here:

Feature on ReConnect Africa

And finally, our group blog In My Dreams It Was Simpler has been nominated in three categories for the 2010 Nigerian Blog Awards! If you haven't already, head over to the Nigerian Blog Awards link right now to vote for us! We are in the Best Group or Collaborative Blog, Best Writing or Book Blog, and the Nigerian Blog of the Year categories. We are up against some tough competition, but it's great that we got recognised for our work! Do pop over there now to cast your vote. For us, of course. LOL

Have a lovely weekend and a blessed month!

FG

Bald Head and My Birthday

I think I'm going to shave off all my hair and rock a bald head for a while - like Nnena here.

I've been toying with the idea since last month and I've been 50-50 about it, but after today, I'm more like 90-10 in favour of shaving my hair off. All the stress, required care and work necessary to maintain long, healthy black hair is getting too much. Maybe I'm lazy, but I would rather take convenience over stress any day. I mean, I've practically stopped doing any physical shopping since I could buy things online. You name it, clothes, books, shoes, gifts, gadgets, even my weekly grocery shopping, I get them delivered to my doorstep. The last time I had to go shopping with a friend, I got bored and impatient after twenty minutes. Life is too short - I could be doing better things with my time, instead of trawling the shops, bumping into people who just stop walking randomly, loaded with heavy bags, dealing with long queues at the tills and over-helpful staff in the changing rooms.

Anyway so what brought this on? This morning, I went to the salon to have my hair put in short, kinky twists, my favourite hairstyle. By the time I left the salon, I was tired, poorer, and grumpy with a sore neck. I'm sure my blood pressure would have gone up a notch or two as well. First of all, the stylist was trying to convince me to have a weave instead. I was like "What? Are you the one that will dictate the style I want to do?". To cut a long story short, we started the hair. We hadn't gone far when we had another row because she tried to run a blazing hot blow-dryer through my hair. Then she stopped my hair halfway and started someone else's. When I had enough I got up and was about to leave, when the manager pleaded with me to be patient. Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant experience and I was so fed-up by the time they finally finished my hair, that I never want to do it again. Well, not for a year or two anyway.

Okay, rant over. On to more beautiful gist:

It's the Bank Holiday weekend! And it's my birthday! Yep, that's right - I'm going to be a year older by the time I come back to update this blog. Usually I try to do something to celebrate, but this year I haven't made any plans. We tried to get tickets to see a show in the West End, but we left it too late, and all the good ones were sold out! So I guess it will be a quiet one at home. Hubby is even threatening to use the extra day off to study so I may just sleep through the day. lol

However, if anyone wants to throw me a surprise party or send me presents or buy me a birthday cake, then I won't say no. You will be more than welcome!

Have a great weekend blogville!

PS: Before you go, check out our latest installment on the series blog HERE

And check out my poem, published on Femme Lounge HERE


xxx

Social Issues: Domestic Staff

If you follow TTEC on Solomosydelle's blog, you may have come across some of the recent posts on "Househelps and Sexual Abuse" which have been featured lately. I found those posts quite worrying, and they got me thinking about the way the vast majority of middle and upper class Nigerians treat their domestic staff - people like housemaids, gatemen,/security men, drivers, gardeners and so on. The other day, I was discussing the issue with some friends and we all agreed that, in general, they were treated in an appalling way.

From what I've observed, they are treated like second-class citizens in the homes where they work. They often don't share the same living quarters with the rest of the family. Or they are given the worst spaces possible. They use a different set of utensils to eat, for some reason. They are given cast-offs of the children's clothes to wear.

Then they are spoken to in awful ways. Sometimes I would visit a friend and she would be speaking with me nicely and politely, and then turn around to use a harsh and intimidating tone on her housemaid, and call her abusive names. I don't understand it. Sure you can use a stern tone when you are giving instructions to an employee but is there a need for the constant stream of abuse? Would any of us take that kind of attitude from our managers at the office?

Which brings me to my next point. Domestic staff have little or no employment rights. They don't have regular working hours, due to the nature of their work. But then they also don't have any benefits. They don't have holidays, they don't get days off, they don't have anything called a social life. They don't get sick days off or sick pay. Sometimes they don't go to school and can't learn any skill while they are working for their masters. I'm sure none of us professional ladies would ever imagine working for a company that didn't give us any time off or holidays, or allow us any social life. We would protest, but we give the same treatment to our own employees. I have even heard women complaining bitterly when it's Christmas time, and their maid wants to take a couple of weeks off to go and visit her family. It's like, she's not human right? She doesn't need time off to go and see her family. Never mind that madam has taken time off from her own job so that she can enjoy her own Christmas holiday.

Furthermore, the physical violence towards them is just... I don't know. Women who won't raise a hand to strike their own children seem to see no qualms in beating their maids to a pulp at the slightest offence. For some reason, the maid always deserves a beating whenever she makes a mistakes, whereas their children do worse things, but they don't get beaten. Why? What makes it different? Would any of us tolerate physical abuse at work? Why do we think it is okay to hit our domestic staff?

The funny thing is that these mistreatments are not limited to any type of woman. I have witnessed women from all spheres of life mistreating their domestic staff. Even women who should know better, like pastor's wives, lawyers or human right's activists. We can speak out against so many injustices in the world, but for some reason, we seem to turn a blind eye to the ones we do right under our nose.

We can argue that we can't trust them, they are rogues, thieves and what not. But for the amount of money they are paid, and the useful service they provide to us, most of our domestic staff don't get treated well. So of course, they don't have much of an incentive to behave properly.

Has anyone tried to put themselves in their maid's shoes? You are taken away from your family and sent to the city to work for a strange family. You could be scared, lonely and homesick, but you have to put all those emotions aside and get on with it. Then you have to endure working from sunrise to sunset every single day of the week. If you are really lucky you will end up working for a nice family that will treat you well. But the majority are treated harshly by everyone in the family - from the madam, to the oga, to the children. And you dare not complain. In fact, who will you complain to? Who will believe you, if you say your madam is mistreating you, or your oga is making sexual advances towards you? The best you can do is to run away. But where does that leave you? Out of a job, broke and lost in a big city.

I hope we can all start making some small changes to the way we treat our maids. It may just be a small change we make everyday, but it would make a whole world of difference to someone. I would like to imagine a world where housemaids can point to the time they spent with their madams and say that those years were one of the best times of their lives.

Food for thought.

Anyways, have a great week ahead!

FG

Happy Easter

Happy new month! I hope you had a good month in March, and are looking forward to bigger and better things in April. I honestly don't know where the time went! It was like I blinked and March flew past me. Somebody please tell April to slow down and not fly by so fast... by the way, did anyone get sucked into an April Fool's prank?

This week, I've learnt to be thankful for electricity. Last Monday, there was a power cut in our area that lasted for over 14 hours. It was so unusual for that to happen, we didn't have any back-up in the house! Our place operates on electricity so I couldn't cook, do the laundry, or heat the house. We had to go and get a torch light and batteries in the evening. It was such a relief when the power came back on!

I've finished reading Love in Paradise by Lara Daniels,  Egg-Larva-Pupa-Woman by Ogo Akubue-Ogbata (which the writers both kindly sent to me) and In Dependence by Sarah Ladipo Manyika (which broke my heart). I'm now reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. Loving them all, and I promise to review them later. 

The Easter weekend is upon us! I'm looking forward to a relaxing time with hubby, we might visit a couple of family and friends, generally eat more than usual, and reflect on the reason why we celebrate the season. I'm thankful that Jesus came to earth to die for us, and I'm so glad that He accomplished His mission on earth, and He redeemed us. I've been very good so far, I haven't indulged in Easter eggs (yet). But we'll see!

Before you go:

Read about our Amazon Book Launch, courtesy of The Bookaholic. And if you need convincing, check out an excerpt of our book In My Dreams It Was Simpler on The New Black Magazine HERE

Don't forget to check out our blog tomorrow for a new installment - right HERE, make sure you don't miss it for anything.

Wish you all a lovely Easter weekend!

FG

Books on My Desk

My books arrived from Amazon! So I've now got six books on my desk to devour. I've already started reading "In Dependence" by Sarah Ladipo Manyika. I might do a review of it when I'm done.

Apart from reading, I've been getting back into the swing of writing again. I've had to abandon my book manuscript for now. I hope to start working on another one very soon. Will keep you all posted.

And finally: I want to apologise to you guys for the closure of our "In My Dreams It Was Simpler" series blog. One of our writers was indisposed, and we were also making some changes to the story. Thanks for being patient with us! The blog has reopened now, and the series would be updated tomorrow so do check it out!

Have a lovely weekend ahead!

FG

Books Books Books!

This might sound kinda sad, but I'm so excited because I've just bought some books! Lol, I love reading, and now that I'm a writer it's become part of my job to read. My book shelf is now groaning under the weight of stuff, but that won't make me stop buying books! I've been eyeing so many books for a while, my Amazon wish-list has been calling my name, so I just decided to go ahead and treat myself this month.

I bought:

Blonde Roots by Bernardine Evaristo

On Black Sisters' Street by Chika Unigwe

I Do Not Come to You by Chance by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

In Dependence by Sarah Ladipo Manyika

And finally: In My Dreams It Was Simpler

 (Yep, I bought a copy of our own book! It's for research purposes, lol)

I can't wait for all of them to arrive in the post! I'm eager to bury my head in crisp pages of literature... transporting me to places far away... introducing me to new people... bliss...

I think I'm sorted for the next month or so, but knowing me, I might just buy a few more sooner!

PS: Check out my interview on The Bookaholic Blog! (better late than never)

Enjoy the rest of your week!

FG

I'm Human

I'm Human

If you pinch me, I will react

If you annoy me, I will get angry

If you hurt me, I will cry

If you cut me, I will bleed

After all, I'm only human.

I try to be a better person everyday

Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard

Sometimes I get it right

Sometimes I get it wrong

But it's okay because,

After all, I'm only human

I make mistakes, I have my flaws

I'm not perfect, I'm not pristine

I'm not a robot or a machine

I have emotions that I express

And that's perfectly fine,

Because I'm only human

I'm not an angel, I'm not God

I get tired and irritable

I have moments of strengths

But also moments of weakness

I cannot see the future

I cannot promise not to fail

After all, I'm only human

I will fall, but I will rise

I will do my best once again

I will admit when I'm wrong

I will say sorry when I offend

But this I know for sure

I am only human

(c) FG

I Hear Voices

No, I'm not mad.

When I got the rejection letter from the publisher I submitted my novel to last year, I decided to put the manuscript away for a while so that I could get some distance and hopefully clarity on it. I haven't looked at the work since December. Now I'm hearing my characters whispering to me, asking me why I abandoned them for so long. They want me to come and clear up the twists I've left in their lives. One of my protagonists especially, is asking for a slight change in his life. I'm considering it.

Weird, huh? Most fiction writers would know what I'm talking about. It's funny having your own made-up characters come alive and start taking over your sub-conscious. Weird and a bit scary. Anyhow, I love my job, so I'm not complaining. I just wish they would let me do it on my own terms... okay, okay, I've got to go and finish re-writing that chapter...

Take care folks!

PS: Before you go, check out my interview on Femme Lounge

PPS: Our series blog will be updated tomorrow! Make sure you check it out!

xx