For the past month, I've been having a debate with myself over my career path. As I wrote in this post ages ago here, I have been questioning my choice to become an accountant. I knew I was seriously becoming bored everyday at work - not with the company, but with the job itself. I have lost all motivation to continue studying for the professional accounting exams. I knew I didn't relish the thought of working as an accountant for the rest of my life. I knew I just drifted into the profession because it was such a "safe" bet, afterall there would always be jobs for accountants with the relevant qualifications and experience. But now I have to face it: I am definitely in the wrong job. Everyday I wake up and I feel like I am wasting my time. Why am I going to work in an office doing a job I don't like when I could be finding fulfilment doing something else? Added to this, is the fact that I detest the restrictive structure of the average workplace: You must be in by 9, you have an hour for lunch, and you are out by 5pm if you are lucky. That's eight hours dedicated to the company everyday. Plus 2 hours of commuting and before you know it, you've spent 50 hours of your week either working, getting to work or coming back from work. That's 200 hours a month! And to get no fulfilment out of such an important chunk of my life is essentially depressing.
Something else that I thought about was that I knew I had learnt the skills to become an accountant in school, but there was a part of me that was inactive - my creative talents. I haven't been using them and there lies the danger: I am not realising my potential in my current career. I have the ability to do much more, but I am wasting time in the wrong profession. And the longer I stay in my job the harder it will be to eventually leave.
Last month, hubby asked me if I would consider giving up my full-time job and do something else from home. I initially thought it was a crazy idea. Why would I leave my job and my social life in the city? What would I be doing at home? I don't have any kids to look after yet, so I would get bored quickly. And I absolutely hate being bored. I had experienced the "sitting-at-home-doing-nothing" period when I had just graduated and was job-hunting. And I didn't want to experience that again.
But when I thought about it, I realised that the only thing stopping me was fear! Fear of quiting my job, fear of losing some income, fear of failure in a new career, fear of the unknown basically. If realised that if I left my restrictive 9 - 5 job, I would actually have time to do the things that I really want to do! Like learning that language, writing that book and getting the publishing deal, going for that course and learning a new skill, travelling to that place I want to discover, etc. I realised that I didn't have to stay at home and do nothing, I could still be very productive in a career outside of the rat-race. So now what do I do? Take the plunge.
I'll admit I'm really scared because I've never done something like this before. It's taking a lot of my thought right now. I'm going to have to quit my job. I'm going to have to start from scratch. I've been praying about it because it is not a decision to take lightly. I also need hubby's support and he's agreed to support me 100% and I'm so grateful! While I'm finding my feet, it's going to be confusing for a while. So it's alright to be scared and worried, I think. But I can't continue to deny myself the opprtunity. At least they say "it's better to try and fail than not to try at all". And now's the time to do it before I have kids and continue procrastinating and then it becomes too late. So here goes..... I'll be keeping you updated.