Playing Hard to Get

My weekend was brilliant! From Thursday to Monday I had a great time. My dad and favourite uncle were around, and I spent most of the time with my family. Catching up with gist from back home, recording our adventures for future reference, going out to a restaurant for dinner, it was all fun. My dad came to stay with us for 2 days and he said hubby and I made him feel old. LOL. Then on Sunday, hubby and I stayed overnight at a hotel in London. Had a nice time. That made my commute to work much easier. Couldn't ask for a better start to my week! The only fly in the ointment now is the fact that I've got exams next week, so I have to start swotting hard. I've discovered that exams and blogging are totally incompatible. Oh dear. I'm seriously rethinking these exams. I'm beginning to feel like I'm going in the wrong direction. Food for thought.

This gist is about a friend of mine who is "playing hard to get" for this guy. Now this friend is someone I have known for a long time, so I know her quite well. The guy is a friend of ours as well. Any fool can see that the guy is besotted with my friend and he has been in love with her ever since I can remember. She on the other hand, has not made up her mind. They hang out together, he gives her really expensive gifts, they go on holiday together etc, but when I ask her about them, she says they are just good friends. Of course I know the guy is more than just a friend. As it is now, no other guy can ask her out because she is really not available. She spends all her free time with this guy. But still she says she doesn't like him "in that way". And she claims that they are not in a relationship. I don't get it. Is she blind? Undecided? Or just playing hard to get?

Playing hard to get used to be fun in our teens. At the time your friends tell you that it is not cool to agree to go out with a guy immediately he asks you out. You should front for a while, make him beg, spend his daddy's cash, take you out, beg your sisters, and do everything he possibly can, before you finally agree to be his girlfriend. And the longer you can front, the better. The 'reasoning' was that the guy will appreciate you more, if you are not easy. And you mustn't just fall into his lap. Hmmmm, that was fun then, those teenage years. But now that I'm older and hopefully wiser, I think that reasoning is flawed. Would a guy necessarily love you more if you front for a long time? Does it prove that he will appreciate you more? Does it guarantee that he won't cheat on you? Does it mean that when you finally agree to go out with him, things will be perfect? Nope.
So why do we girls front? Personally I don't believe in fronting. To me it's simple: you either like the guy or you don't. And the decision is made. OK fine, you may think he has some but not all of the qualities you desire in a man, and you are waiting for the guy that ticks ALL the boxes. OK fine, you may not want to hurt him by turning him down flat, but stringing him along and keeping him hoping is not nice either. It's different if you have already told the guy that there is no chance you will go out with him, but he keeps on pestering you. Even if that is the case, there are ways to cut him off gently. If I was a guy, I probably won't have the patience to wait for a girl that is fronting. If I ask someone out and she fronts too much, I would just move on. And I know a lot of guys who think like that.
Anyhoo, back to my friend. I think it's very unfair for her to string the guy along for so long without giving him any direct answer. In my opinion, he must be a really patient guy (either that, or very optimistic!) for him to stick around while she decides to be or not to be his girlfriend. I don't know whether this one is "shakara", fronting, or indecision. At 23, I think we are old enough to know what we want from our boyfriends and relationships. So why do we still front?