(Female) Family Politics

I'm a big fan of Asa and I love both her albums. I've listened to both albums over and over again. She's such a great lyricist and all the words in her song make sense. She talks about life as she sees it - whether it is relationships, culture, family problems, politics, war and so on.

One of my favourite songs on her second album (Beautiful Imperfection) is Bimpe. I love the simplicity of the music and the beats, but above all, the song tells a story. It is the story of an unnamed  character, and Bimpe is her boyfriend (or husband)'s younger sister. But they do not get on at all. The narrator accuses Bimpe of overstepping her boundaries, of disrespect, saying bad things about her and of sticking her nose into her private affairs.

Now in Yoruba culture, a wife is supposed to respect all her husband's family members, even if they are younger than her. Perhaps this Bimpe takes advantage of that culture and is rude and disrespectful of her brother's wife because she knows that the wife cannot openly confront her. So in the song, the narrator is trying to send Bimpe a warning to back off and stop disturbing her relationship with her brother.

I tried to imagine myself in that situation.Thankfully, I have a great relationship with my hubby's sisters who are lovely people. But we hear so many horror stories of wife and in-law battles, or the political games that both sides try to play to keep the peace even if they don't get on well. I have friends who are happily married, apart from the fact that they don't like members of their husband's family. And I have friends who don't particularly like the lady that their brother is dating or married to. 

It also seems to be a woman thing, for some reason. I don't hear of wives having battles with their father-in-law or brother-in-law. It's usually the husband's female relatives that are hostile to his wife. I wonder why. Are we females so selfish and possessive that we feel we have to protect our "territory"? Do we see the new woman in a son or brother's life as a threat to our own position? Is there no room in a man's life for other women apart from his immediate family? Questions, questions.....

Anyway, back to Asa's song about Bimpe. Someone needs to tell her to chill and back off - that's what the narrator is saying. It almost sounds like "Your brother loves me, deal with it." I love the way the narrator even calls Bimpe out on some of her own issues - Bimpe is unmarried but she has a child out of wedlock. Bimpe has no manners, but she is looking for a husband to marry. Bimpe, fix your issues and stop minding other people's business!

My other favourite song on the album is "Ore", that's another very interesting story. We'll save that for another day....

Did I tell you I looooooooooooove Asa? Here's a photo of me posing like Asa. The photographer knew I was a huge fan, so he handed me the guitar to pose with. I wish I could actually play though!

(c) Tolulope Popoola

New Month, New Ideas

Happy new month! I can't believe I've been away from my blog for two whole weeks. And I can't believe the month of August is already over. It's like the year is almost gone once you get to the "-ber" months: September, October, November and December. Before you know it, 2008 will be over and we will be ushering in the year 2009. Scary!

I've been quite busy in the last two weeks. Since leaving my job, I've been working on the book and taking small steps to reach my target before the end of the year. Check out my writing blog to read some chapters and short stories. I will be putting up more short stories as I go along. Then my little sis came round, and we had lots of fun! It was really nice to see her again even though it was quite a short trip. The bubbly girl helped herself to my clothes and stuff sha, before boarding her plane back. But it's all good, that's what little sisters are for.

My cousin also had her engagement and wedding ceremonies which was a great time. Weddings generate so much excitement in the family as you can imagine. Lots of people flew in, people staying over and such like. It was cool though - I got two new aso-ebi outfits, I got to see family and friends that I hadn't seen in ages, got to dance and take loads of photos. She's off on honeymoon now as the new Mrs and my life is slowly getting back to normal.

I've got a few new ideas up my sleeve, about making the most of my time outside the 9 - 5 routine. It's like there are so many things that you don't notice when you are busy working and working for someone else. Or you are too inflexible to take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself. I was talking to a friend of mine who is absolutely fed up with her job and ready to quit any day now. She's thinking of business ideas to go into. I told her that once you have the ideas in your mind, take the plunge. It may seem scary at first, but really, what's the worst that could happen? You might fail once, but if you are determined, you will rise up again and learn from your mistakes. And then be better prepared to succeed. For me, I'm trying to build up my tough skin and be ready to face rejections from agents and publishers time and time again when I finish writing my book. I know from the experience of many other writers, success doesn't just land in the letter box. So I'm preparing for the worst.

Anyway, recently I had been thinking about that age-old question, "Why am I here?" that most of us have to ask ourselves at some point in our lives. I read the book "40 Days of Purpose" in 2006 and it did change my life. Maybe I need to read it again because I still have some questions I need answers to. But really I guess I'm just a bit impatient. I know I can only find my true purpose in God, but sometimes waiting is so hard. I want to know so many things right now and God is taking His time to reveal things slowly. Maybe I need to work on becoming more patient. Anyway while I was pondering these things I got a few things in my mind and I decided to write them down:

I am not here just to be a statistic - I am not an accident or mistake - I am not here just to live and die quietly - I wasn't born just to add to the population on this planet - I am not here to live a miserable existence - God had a good plan for me when He sent me to earth - I have gifts and talents that God has blessed me with - I can become whatever I dream of - There are goals to achieve and awards to win - I should make every single day count!

Hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

A Partridge in a Pear Tree!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me.... Twelve drummers drumming, Eleven pipers piping, Ten lords a-leaping, Nine ladies dancing, Eight maids a-milking, Seven swans a-swimming, Six geese a-laying, Five golden rings, Four calling birds, Three French hens, Two turtle doves, And a partridge in a pear tree!

I love singing christmas carols. I remember singing carols in primary and secondary school. It used to be fun. So I was quite pleased that my church is organising a midnight carol service on sunday. Christmas is really in the air now. I took the day off from work today (it was a half-day anyway). The weather is cold and foggy. My sister has arrived to spend her christmas with us. Some of my family came to visit us today and we had a nice time. And tomorrow hubby and I are going to buy some ingredients for christmas lunch. I have planned my menu. Who wants to come to my house for christmas? The menu consists of fried rice, beef stew, roast turkey, fried fish, fried plantain, prawn salad, yam porridge, salad, cake and ice-cream and many more stuff. I'm presiding in the kitchen whilst looking hot in my new christmas outfit. Here's to multi-tasking perfectly :-)

The year has really really flown by so quickly. I remember when it was just February! One of these days I'll write about the highlights of my year. God has been good.

Here's wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!