University of Life

Sometime ago I pondered about this modern world of ours. Something is really wrong. There is a break down of society as a whole. We read of shootings and stabbings daily in the newspapers. We hear of gangs of youths carrying knives and guns to defend themselves with. We hear of marriages breaking up everyday - divorce rates are soaring and people are choosing not to get married anyway. We hear that stress at work is a major killer and cause of many serious diseases. We see the picture of the ideal family unit broken almost beyond repair. We see people sacrificing everything in the pursuit of happiness that just seems to elude them. Why is it so? I think it is mostly because we have placed the emphasis on the wrong things.

From the moment we are born, we are thrust into a society that places so much importance in education and defines us by success in our careers. How? We'll take the life of this typical child. From the day he is born, his parents bought him the best 'educational toys' that aim to give him a headstart in learning skills. His parents do all they can to enroll him in the best nursery school where he is to learn basic skills in speech, reading and writing. After that, he goes on to primary school where he is taught a wide range of subjects to give him a knowledge base that will be useful in future. Fast forward to three years of secondary school and then he is expected to make certain choices in his subjects that will start to define his future career. By the time he is finished with secondary school, success means achieving a place at university to study a degree. This degree will be his ticket to a life-long career. He may need to continually update his qualifications for example, getting a Masters qualification, taking some examinations etc. Success is measured by his job and how much he earns. Assuming he finished education at 24, he spends the next 40-odd years of his life working 9 - 5, Monday to Friday to earn a living. If the UK government have their way, he would be working until he is in his 70s before he can retire and claim a pension. But is that all?

Now I think education is a good thing. I think every child on this planet should be given an equal chance to succeed with a certain level of education. But I find it worrying that we place so much importance on just that - education and career. Is there not more to life than acquiring a degree? Would having a brilliant career make everyone's life fulfilled?

I read something in 'My Daily Bread' a while back. A survey was conducted about what people would want to reflect on in their final moments on this earth. What would they look back on and count as achievements? Strings of degrees? An impressive CV? Hefty bank accounts? List of awards and certificates? No. The main response people gave was they they would want their loved ones around them when they were on their death-bed. Furthermore, the biggest regret expressed wasn't "I wish I had spent more time at work". It was "I wish I had spent more time with my family". Family and loved ones always took priority over education and achievements.

Now if this is true, how come we still have this dysfunctional world? How come we spend the vast majority of our lives either in education or working endlessly pursuing material wealth? How come you can go to university to study virtually any subject in academics or research but there is no university that teaches us about the real-life challenges we face? You can study to become a Financial Analyst but who teaches you how to cope with the grief of losing of a loved one? You can study to become a doctor but where do you study to become a good husband or wife? I can graduate with a Bcs in Mathematics but where can I get a degree in Good Parenting Skills? Those are the things that really challenge us as individuals and no amount of education can help.

If I could change the world, I would shake up the current set-up. I would not be happy in a world where the majority of hours in the week,  is all but committed to working, working, working. A world where the main driving force is money, money, money. When do we have time to actually live? When do we have time to grow and learn to become better people? Why won't we have a society that is crumbling?

Thankful for 2009

Wow, 2009 is almost over! Did the year fly by quickly or what? Can anyone believe that all the hype about entering the new millennium was actually TEN years ago? Soon it will be 2010 and another decade will begin. Time flies, they say, and it seems like it is spinning even faster nowadays.

This time last year I was looking forward to the year 2009 with hope and expectations. I had a long list of hopes , dreams and ambitions. I had a list of prayer requests and petitions that I placed before God to help me achieve by the end of the year. Now it's the last day of the year, and I am really grateful to God. Nope, I didn't get everything on my wish-list. But I have gained so many wonderful things in this past year, and I have received so many blessings from God, that I cannot but be grateful.

I'm thankful to God for my blessings. I have been overwhelmed many times when I think about how good God has been to me. I can't list them all but I can mention a few:

I'm thankful for my family: mum, dad, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, etc. Sure, once in a while somebody gets on my nerves but I know I love them, and I cannot do without them.

I'm thankful for the simple joys of peaceful sleep. I have slept and woken up everyday in the last 365 days.

I'm thankful to God for meeting all my needs. I never had to go hungry or beg for anything in 2009.

I'm thankful for the good times that I enjoyed, and the not-so-good times where God was my strength and hope.

I'm thankful for laughter and fun in my life. There are too many sad and lonely people in the world today.

I'm thankful to God for adding another year to my life. I celebrated a birthday in perfect health, surrounded by good friends and family.

I'm thankful to God for the many wonderful new friends I made this year. Especially my fellow bloggers who have become my friends and sisters. Aloted, Believer, Writefreak, Nolimit, Diamond Hawk, GoodNaijaGirl and more. And to my writing mentors: Abidemi Sanusi and Dr Tade.

I'm thankful for another peaceful, happy and fulfilling year of marriage. I know I am so blessed and privileged to share my life with a man that makes me happy, believes in me, loves me, supports me and wants the best for me.

I'm thankful because I'm older and wiser now, than I was a year ago.

I'm thankful for protection and safety. I went through 2009 without any accidents - amazing.

I'm thankful for the trips around Europe I enjoyed during the year.

I'm thankful for the progress I made with my work this year. And the opportunities I have to explore further in the coming months.

I'm thankful to my co-writers on our blog series: Latifa, Jaycee, Icepick, Flourishing Florida, Diamond Hawk, Ayodele, Writefreak and Rayo. Thanks for believing in my idea and working with me.

I'm thankful because I've moved closer to God this year.

I'm also thankful for the many lessons I've learnt this year:

I've learnt to depend on God more than ever

I've learnt that respecting my husband is the key to a peaceful marriage

I've learnt to be more patient

I've learnt to appreciate the important things in life

I've learnt not to compare myself with anybody

I've learnt that I should choose carefully whose opinions I take on board

I've learnt to receive criticism graciously

I've learnt that a positive attitude wins in the end, even in the face of overwhelming odds.

I've learnt that pride and sacrificial love are not compatible.

I've learnt to be humble and content with what, who and where I am at the moment.

For 2010:

I want to be completely in tune with where God wants me to be, what God wants me to do and at His perfect timing.

I want to be more and more like Jesus everyday.

I want to achieve my potential with my writing.

I want to become a better wife, sister, daughter and friend.

So help me God.

Now I'm counting down to 2010........................!!!

Happy New Year to everyone! May 2010 be the best year ever in all aspects of our lives!

I'm off to church in a few hours. How will you see in the new year?

More Internal Musings

Yesterday around 6.00pm, I was on the concourse at Liverpool Street station. This might sound like a rather random or mundane bit of information for me to be blogging about. But right there, in the hustle and bustle, the crush of commuters, the sea of suits and ties surrounding me, I suddenly realised that I was no longer a part of them. Yes, them. The City of London workers. The impatient mob of commuters, rushing for trains, jostling and elbowing anyone in their path, every determined step they take, timed to perfection to catch their train, with the platform number programmed in their head, a quick snatch of the evening newspaper to read on the train, and a satisfied smile if they find a seat in the carriage nearest to their exit at their destination. Some of them, on the phone speaking to husbands, wives or children, telling them "I'm on my way home now honey, just about to catch the 6.18 train". Some of them making plans or changing plans with friends they were supposed to meet up with after work.

I used to be among that crowd and yesterday, I paused for a few moments on the concourse and thought how different my life is now. I have been out of the 9 - 5 for fifteen months, and by yesterday I already felt like an outsider. Not that at I'm complaining at all. I used to think that was the only way to live, that was the only way to work - being an accountant working in Central London, facing commuter hell Monday to Friday. I wrote this post in October 2006, and at the time, I was fed up with the lifestyle and I knew I could not carry on with the 9 - 5 indefinitely. I was thinking that I needed to find a job where I didn't have to commute like that everyday. It has been three years since I wrote that post, and I am so glad and grateful to God, that my little dream is coming true. Even if it's something as small as having the freedom to work from home. I may not have the millions (yet), but my quality of life is already vastly improved. Hmmm, I may revisit this topic in another three years' time.

So what was I even doing in Liverpool Street in the thick of the evening rush hour? I was on my way to a Creative Writing class at the Southbank Centre. I had attended one last month and I enjoyed it very much, so I was looking forward to learning new ideas yesterday. And I did. The tutor talked about blogging, writing short stories for traditional print publications, and also writing for an online audience. I made a note of many of the good points he raised, and I will be implementing some new ideas. One idea I'm taking further is our blog series, so keep an eye on it and I'll be letting you all know what's coming next.

I can't believe the year is drawing to a close so quickly. I was almost alarmed when I looked at the date today and saw it was 19th of November. It's like I blinked and seven months of the year just flew by me! The thought makes me feel like I have to redeem the time wisely, everyday I have to achieve something. It may be learning a new life lesson, it may be finding a better way to do something, it may be gaining a new level of knowledge about myself, it may be drawing just that little bit closer to God and having more of His grace rubbing off on me, it may be encouraging a friend, it may be becoming a better wife. Everyday, I feel like I should be a better person when I go to bed, than I was when I woke up.

Okay, I'm off to make the most of the remaining minutes of this day, I'll be back soon with another update. Enjoy the rest of the week.

FG

Reflections

I've been MIA from blogville a bit in the last few weeks. Usual reasons would be because I've been busy. But it would be untrue for me to claim that. In fact I've just had my least productive month ever. It's a long story and I don't even know if everything really makes sense to me at the moment.

Has anyone ever had a "wilderness experience"? Have you ever felt so disappointed and disillusioned with yourself and with God? Have you ever gotten tired of the Christian race? Do you feel sometimes like you are losing your faith and God seems far away? I have been feeling like that for some time. Towards the end of September, I hit a brick wall in some areas of my life. At first I was angry with God for a really annoying weekend that hubby and I had. Then everything went downhill from there. The anger slowly disappeared but was replaced by a feeling of gloom that nothing could shake. It felt like there was a huge dark cloud hanging over my head. Probably because by that time I was so far away from God that I couldn't even function properly.

So of course what happened next? I developed a severe case of writer's block and my brain went into meltdown. I lost the motivation to do most things I usually enjoy, even reading a good book. I felt like I couldn't do anything useful with myself. I couldn't pray and I couldn't write. When I wrote that "Totally Random" post, I was trying to force myself to do something I normally enjoy but it wasn't the same. So I just scrambled the words together and gave up. I began to operate on auto-pilot because it was like something had sucked out all my joy and enthusiasm for life. The funny thing was that all this was an internal battle and I seemed perfectly fine on the outside. Even when I was in church I would sing, clap, smile and do everything else, but inside I felt like a fraud.

About ten days ago, I actually started to get tired and fed up with feeling this way. In church last Sunday, the speaker said that sometimes he too got tired of the Christian race and felt like he had no strength to go on. I totally understood what he meant and I hoped that I would finally regain some hope, faith and strength. During the week I told a good friend of mine how I had been feeling. She really encouraged me with her words:

Our Lord is so loving that He won't let you go. He is faithful and even though it looks like nothing seems to be working out, there is no question He loves us. Keep reminding yourself that. Lord knows we may go through times like this and ...... He never forgets that we are human, we grow tired, weary and frustrated with issues.
Gradually I was able to draw some hope and strength from her and finally I was able to get on my knees again and talk to my heavenly Father. I actually read my bible and devotional again after ignoring them for more than a month. One of the readings even said that when God brings you out of a wilderness experience, it's because He is preparing you for the next level. I really hope so! I'm glad to report that I'm feeling much better now. Actually the fact that I'm able to type this is a good sign. Last week I couldn't have strung words together that made sense.

I'm still not sure what God is trying to teach me through this experience though. Sometimes we may get the full picture and sometimes we may never know why God takes us through some situations. I guess it's a test of faith or endurance and I failed woefully. Hmmm.

One thing I now appreciate more, is the joy and blessing of having a good Christian friend around. And I have to thank you too, Believer.

Sorry if this post makes no sense whatsoever. Have a blessed week :^)

End of 2007

Happy New Year in advance to all the bloggers and readers out there! I hope you had a lovely time at Christmas and you are looking forward to a lot of good things in 2008. It’s my last post in 2007 and I pray that the New Year will be a year of peace, joy and fulfilment for us all. Amen.
I had been unable to blog for a long while because I've been so busy running up and down. And then I came down with a bout of malaria the week before Christmas. It was horrible being ill during that week because I missed out on so many fun events happening around me including a wedding of two of my very good friends.

I had planned to write a completely different post, but in a moment of reflection this morning, I started thinking about the past year. So 2007 has drawn to a close, it proves again how quickly time flies. This year I had many ups and down moments in many aspects of my life. There were times when I felt so close to God and I could feel His love surrounding me on every side. And then there were times that I felt that God was very far away or He was ignoring me. I had times of happiness, hope and peace, and there were also times of utter despair and discouragement. But through it all, God remains faithful. And it is during the frustrating and difficult times that I have grown, and moved up to a higher level in my faith and journey with God.

Still, I have many things to be thankful to God for in 2007. I’m thankful for life, health, my mum’s life, my wonderful hubby, my new career, my family and in-laws, my friends, my experiences and my many answered prayers.

At the beginning of the year I had plans of how I wanted things to turn out but some things have turned out very differently. In some aspects, the course of my life has changed completely. In many ways, I have grown and I’m grateful for that. I feel like I’m in my purpose now and I can move forward confidently, knowing that I’m going in the right direction.

I’m sure that most people have goals, ambitions, aspirations and targets for 2008. I have mine too, some in my spiritual life, some in my career, some in my personal life. I’m realising though that some things are up to me, while some others are totally out of my control. But I’m promising myself that I will do all that I can to achieve the goals I want, and leave the ones I can’t control to God.

Okay enough of my sober reflections; I hope you are all having fun during this festive season. In Nigeria, it is full-on wedding season. I’ve lost count of the number of invitations I’ve received in the last two months, as in they are just too many. Last week, a friend of mine had six weddings in one day and she had to attend all of them. There are several other events happening too, my friends have been dragging me to high school reunions, engagements, house warming parties, cinema trips, concerts etc. I’ve been having a great time though so I’m not complaining. I went for the Sound City Blast Party just before Christmas and I enjoyed myself so much. There is talk of a blogger party happening early in the new year too. I’ll try to attend that because I want to meet some of my favourite bloggers.

I'm still trying to decide if I should go for a watch-night service tonight to usher in the new year, or I should just have a long conversation with God in my room. (It's funny, recently the way I approach prayer changed: it's not a religious ceremony, it's more like a conversation going on in my mind with my Father. It's fun, you should try it!). Whatever you decide to do, I hope you step into 2008 in peace and joy. I know it's going to be a great year!!

Happy Year 2008!!

If......

If I knew what I know now at 15, would I make different choices ?
If I could rewind and freeze time, would I stay in the past?
If I could rule the world for one week, what decisions would I make?
If I knew how many days I had to live on earth, how will I live them?
If I don't try to conform with the world around me, who would run out of excuses?
If I had a choice before birth, would I have chosen to be me?
If I had the vision of me in 20 years' time, what would I advise my 23 year old to do?
If I hold the key to happiness, would I share it with others?
If I never procrastinated or broke my promises, how much of a better person would I be?
If I never put in 100% effort, I would never know what I am capable of.
If I don't dream it, I would never achieve it.
If I can make a difference in the world around me, I should
If I have never truly grasped the meaning of love, I haven't lived
If I smiled at one stranger everyday, I would have even more friends.

Sober Thought

Life is funny. When you're at the top of one stage, you're at the bottom of another.

Changes

It is said that "Change is the only constant thing in life". How true that is. We never seem to be content with the way things are, we are always looking for something to change. If it is a positive change, then all for the better.

Lately I have been thinking. I definitely need to make some changes in my life. Some big and drastic changes. The big change seems to be coming from the direction of my career. In secondary school and college, I studied Economics because I enjoyed the subject. Then at uni I drifted into Accounting, and soon found myself graduating with an Accounting degree, getting accounting jobs and studying for professional accounting qualifications.

But now, I've started having doubts as to where I would be in 30 years time if I remain an accountant. I noticed that I am not so fulfilled in this profession anymore. I like my current job because it is not too stressful, I like the company and the people I work with, but something is just not right. There is nothing fulfilling about it.

I met a lady last weekend who is an accountant and working on a major finance project for her company. She was telling me about her job, talking about the project she is working on, describing every single detail. She sounded so passionate and enthusiastic. She said "I love accounting, and I love working on exciting projects". In my mind I was thinking, "Wow! She actually loves her job!". Afterwards, I searched myself, I definitely cannot say that I love accounting with so much passion. To me it's just a profession I trained for and a job to keep some money coming in. Nothing more. I don't actually derive fulfilment or pleasure from any aspect of my job. If I was to leave the job, I won't miss it one bit.

After more soul searching, I came up with some more thoughts that have been nagging my mind for a while. I had ignored them previously because I thought there was no way out. Things like: my work-life balance is rubbish, I hate working the full-time 9 - 5 route because it's so inflexible, I am answerable to layers of management people above me, I can only take so many holidays in a year, I can only get so much money for my sweat; I am working to make someone else rich, and there seems to be a limit to how much I can progress in a certain time. Plus there are so many strict rules, rules and rules! Rules of dress code, conduct in the office at all times, office politics, office gossip etc etc.

All this has led me to one conclusion: I am definitely not suited to working in an office for the rest of my life. I would go mad. So what do I do now?

I feel like God is telling me that I am not fulfilling my purpose. I can sense that I will have to make some drastic changes soon. The only thing holding me back is: fear. Fear of failure and all the things associated with it. That, and the feeling that I have wasted all my schooling years doing something only to discover that I'm not happy with it. Dad wouldn't be too pleased with that one. But we'll see...... watch this space.