Changes

It is said that "Change is the only constant thing in life". How true that is. We never seem to be content with the way things are, we are always looking for something to change. If it is a positive change, then all for the better.

Lately I have been thinking. I definitely need to make some changes in my life. Some big and drastic changes. The big change seems to be coming from the direction of my career. In secondary school and college, I studied Economics because I enjoyed the subject. Then at uni I drifted into Accounting, and soon found myself graduating with an Accounting degree, getting accounting jobs and studying for professional accounting qualifications.

But now, I've started having doubts as to where I would be in 30 years time if I remain an accountant. I noticed that I am not so fulfilled in this profession anymore. I like my current job because it is not too stressful, I like the company and the people I work with, but something is just not right. There is nothing fulfilling about it.

I met a lady last weekend who is an accountant and working on a major finance project for her company. She was telling me about her job, talking about the project she is working on, describing every single detail. She sounded so passionate and enthusiastic. She said "I love accounting, and I love working on exciting projects". In my mind I was thinking, "Wow! She actually loves her job!". Afterwards, I searched myself, I definitely cannot say that I love accounting with so much passion. To me it's just a profession I trained for and a job to keep some money coming in. Nothing more. I don't actually derive fulfilment or pleasure from any aspect of my job. If I was to leave the job, I won't miss it one bit.

After more soul searching, I came up with some more thoughts that have been nagging my mind for a while. I had ignored them previously because I thought there was no way out. Things like: my work-life balance is rubbish, I hate working the full-time 9 - 5 route because it's so inflexible, I am answerable to layers of management people above me, I can only take so many holidays in a year, I can only get so much money for my sweat; I am working to make someone else rich, and there seems to be a limit to how much I can progress in a certain time. Plus there are so many strict rules, rules and rules! Rules of dress code, conduct in the office at all times, office politics, office gossip etc etc.

All this has led me to one conclusion: I am definitely not suited to working in an office for the rest of my life. I would go mad. So what do I do now?

I feel like God is telling me that I am not fulfilling my purpose. I can sense that I will have to make some drastic changes soon. The only thing holding me back is: fear. Fear of failure and all the things associated with it. That, and the feeling that I have wasted all my schooling years doing something only to discover that I'm not happy with it. Dad wouldn't be too pleased with that one. But we'll see...... watch this space.