Tuesday, April 24, 2007

More On Marriage

Recently there has been a lot of talk going on around blogville about marriages and infidelity. I've just read Vickii's post, then I read Uzo's post, then I read T-Minx's post. I've also read a lot of the comments from both sides of the debate as it were. Is marriage still relevant in our society? Is there any need for the vows "till death do us part"?

Well I'm a firm believer in the institution of marriage. I think it is the best relationship two people can have, if it is approached in the right way. I believe that marriage was instituted by God and He meant for us to enjoy it. The problems society has with marriage (and why marriages are under threat) is because we have taken God out of the picture, and so His ideas don't seem relevant anymore.

I don't believe that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage. None of us is perfect, so no relationship can ever be perfect if it is made up of two imperfect people. I do believe however, that if we recognise the purpose of marriage, then we would see that it is more than just a love contract or a ceremony in church. It is a covenant where we solemnly swear to "honour, love, respect and cherish" our spouse before God and man.

We mustn't forget that we are human though. So we sometimes forget to keep our promises. Who among us has never broken a promise? When you get married, you spend 5 minutes saying your vows and you have to spend the rest of your life carrying out those promises. How well that marriage goes depends on how faithful the husband and the wife are to the promises they have made.

Ladies imagine your long-term boyfriend comes to you with a large diamond ring and these words:

My darling, you have been the best thing that happened to me. I want to take our wonderful relationship to the next level. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you everyday. I want to have children with you, grow old with you. I promise I will always make you happy, I will be true to you and be faithful to you. If you give me this chance, I will spend the rest of my life making you happy. Will you marry me?"

Of course, the lady will say yes!

Now consider if the guy had said:
My darling, you have been the best thing in my life since I met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you everyday. I want to have children with you, grow old with you.But I can't promise to be faithful to you. I don't know if I will be able to make you happy everyday. You can't expect me to do everything to make you happy. I will expect you to meet my needs all the time but I can't promise to meet your needs. I might cheat on you if the opportunity arises. Will you marry me?"

What do you think the girl would do? She will tell him to take a hike!

As Uzo said, there are no guarantees that getting married will make the relationship any more successful than if the parties involved just lived together. I agree whole-heartedly. What underpins any lasting relationship is commitment. If that commitment is lacking, then a marriage certificate is worthless. So should we give up on marriage then? Is marriage then irrelevant? No, no, no. Life itself is a risk. We all take chances with our decisions. I definitely believe that marriage is the ideal committed relationship for all parties involved: the man, the woman and the children produced in that union.

On the subject of cheating, truth is, infidelity does happen a lot in marriages. I avoid making general statements like "All men are cheaters" or "There are no good men around". Those statements are biased because those are the only examples the speaker has seen. Women do cheat too, perhaps not in the physical betrayal of sleeping with someone else, but in their minds. Anyway the point I am making is, most people look at infidelity from the woman's point of view. Should she take him back after he has cheated on her?

Speaking for myslef, I honestly can't answer that question. I wouldn't know until I've been in that situation. Besides every relationship is different so what might work for one woman, will not work for another.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Cupid Update

It seems like everyone likes a good love story! Sorry I haven't updated since. I didn't call my friend until last night. I wanted to give the two of them some time. Here's how that evening went:
I had decided to have the picnic with my friend so I left my place and headed down to hers. We were feeling too lazy to cook or prepare any picnic food, so we just bought some KFC wings, grabbed a beach cloth, a couple of drinks, cameras and our sunglasses, and headed to the park. Since the weather was so nice, the park was full of people but it was still cool. We stayed there gisting till about 7.00pm. As we were leaving the park, hubby and his guys called to find out what the plans were. I told him that they should meet us at a bar around 10.00pm. We got back to her place, she got changed and we went to pick up one of her other friends and drove down to the bar. Soon after hubby and his friend came in. While they were at the bar, my girl was checking the man out. Eventually the guys joined our table and they got talking. The conversation seemed to be flowing well. After about 15 minutes, hubby and I excused ourselves and melted out of sight. But by the time we were leaving the bar, we saw them swapping numbers!
I called her yesterday to find out what's been happening. She said they had been calling and texting each other and they've tried to arrange a date to meet up. So things are looking good. We'll be keeping our fingers and toes crossed!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Playing Cupid

Hey bloggers! How's it going? Hope you all are having a great weekend! Mine's been good thus far. I had plans to attend the Festival of Life last night. Then I remembered that I was having a function at work that wasn't going to end until very late, so there was no way I was going to be able to do both. Please if anybody attended it, come and tell us how it went.

Anyways today I'm going to be playing cupid for two of my friends. In the past I've tried to avoid hooking people up. Because if things don't work out, both parties come and start disturbing me and I'll never hear the last of it. Have you ever had that kind of experience? I always end up feeling guilty as well. This time I'm making an exception. These two people seem like they will act maturedly if things don't work out. (At least I hope and pray so). They met each other briefly last year at my get-together but they didn't get the chance to take things further. Since then the guy has been bugging me to hook him up with my girl friend. At first I didn't take him seriously. At the time anyway he was just coming out of a messy relationship and his ex was causing drama in his life. There was no way I was going bring my girl into that kind of situation. But he has been persisting that he really wanted to get to meet this girl. I informed the girl and she seems interested. So this evening I'm finally going to hook them up. Hubby and I will bring them together, and then retreat and watch from a safe distance. Fingers crossed! If something good comes out of it, good, fine, brilliant. If not... em... we'll have to deal with it. I can't really do Cupid's work for him.

Meanwhile in Nigeria, today is election day for governors and state assemblies. I'm praying that it all goes peacefully. I hope people turn out to vote, cos there is nothing worse that voter apathy, and then complaints later that the government is rubbish. Whatever happens, what we want is that Nigeria undergoes positive changes in the near future. We want is peace, prosperity and progress.

I'm off to start my day. The weather looks good outside, so I'm going for a spot of shopping and chilling in the park with my picnic basket and a good book till evening. Enjoy the rest of your weekend whatever you do!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Random Gists

I had a great Easter break, it went too quickly! I had time to rest, chill out with hubby, tidy up my house, and attend my dad's birthday party on Monday. I wish we had more 4-day weeks like that. I remember Easter three years ago, when "The Passion of the Christ" was in the cinemas and everyone was talking about it. Had a chance to see it again this time and it was still very moving. Well now the Easter break is over, and I've had to resume back at work. My department is drowning in paperwork at the moment, all the Easter eggs in the supermarkets are half-price, and the Easter cards have been removed from the card shops... lol.

Help me o, fellow bloggers, I'm dismayed. I was at a family get-together last week and everyone was saying that I look like "I'm enjoying married life" which just really means I've put on some weight. What! With all my healthy eating and brisk walking, it seems I'm fighting a losing battle. What more can I do..................???

I had popped into Sainsbury's after work to pick up a few items. I got to the till and I was supposed to pay about £17 for my items. When the cashier swiped my Nectar card, he told me I had accumulated some points and asked, Would I would like some money off my shopping? Who would say no? He did the maths and I ended up paying less than £5 for my stuff! I was so excited because I had been having a boring day and that cheered me up considerably!

Recently my mum has been making funny comments about babies. She has even been advising me on the best methods to concieve! It would be funny if it wasn't so mortifying. I've told her to calm down. I guess she is just so keen to become a grandmother. She is not thinking that babies cost money and effort to look after.

Sometimes don't you just think that fulfilment eludes us on purpose? I have a friend who had been working in a bank for about a year. She told me that she felt there were not enough opportunities for progress there. So she left and got a job at a different bank. Three months down the line, she's even more unhappy because the new job is very boring. That's life, the grass always looks greener on the other side. So how do we find real fulfilment and contentment?

Let me stop rambling on and on for now. I need to go and reformulate my lose-weight-and-get-fit plan. I'll be back to browse blogs. Blogging takes up so much of my online time. Anyways, enjoy the rest of your week.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Happy Easter!

Thanks everyone for the comments on my last post, I really appreciate the encouragement.

I have been looking forward to this Easter weekend. To be honest, I was mostly thinking of the time off school and the two Bank Holidays of Good Friday and Easter Monday. The relief of time off work is great! I know, I know... that's not what Easter is about. I was surprised when I read in the Metro newspaper the other day that a large percentage of young people in the UK do not know the reason why Easter is celebrated. An even further lower percentage in the survey said they would be attending church on Easter Sunday. I'm saddened - and this is supposed to be a Christian country! Anyway sha, that got me thinking about why I celebrate Easter too. I have felt my spiritual life stagnating a bit in the last few months. So my prayer this Easter is that I would rediscover Christ in my life in a new way. Whilst trying to avoid eating too many chocolate eggs and bunnies. LOL.

Didn't have anything planned for today, so I was just been chilling at home, browsing blogs and stuff. Until hubby decided to arrange the storage cupborad. Since we moved, I dumped some boxes of stuff there that I never got round to sorting out. As he was sorting out our stuff, he brought out a bag containing all my old photos. I have just been rooting through the photos in there- ranging from secondary school days, to college and university days. There are photos of my friends that I still talk to, photos of people I've lost touch with, photos of people I would consign to the dustbin of history, photos of my 18th, 19th and 21st birthday parties, graduation photos, embarassing school uniform photos, photos from those fun times, phots of past fashions .... etc. All the memories! I showed hubby a photo of myself when I was 17 and he said I looked about 12, how rude! I'm laughing at my old photos right now. I need to archive them to show the kids, lol.

The weather is supposed to be lovely this weekend, so I'm looking forward to it. Here's wishing you all a lovely Easter as we celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007


Waiting is so hard.I've been waiting for something for so long. I have prayed and fasted, yet it seems God doesn't hear me. I have waited patiently, and sometimes impatiently. Sometimes I am encouraged, and sometimes I am discouraged. Sometimes it feels like the answer is near. Sometimes it feel like the answer is far away. Sometimes I feel that God wants me to have this thing, sometimes I'm not so sure. Sometimes it's easy to smile and keep hope alive. But sometimes it's hard to stay hopeful. Sometimes I can cheer myself up, and sometimes I feel like crying.
I had been feeling discouraged. But then I remembered: God had been good to me thus far. He has been faithful to me. He has never failed me when I needed Him most. And I have no other person to turn to. I shouldn't let my problem take me away from God. I should draw nearer to God in times of trouble. Only Him can meet my deepest needs. Only Him can hear my most earnest prayer. Only Him can give me complete peace of mind.

Yes it is very hard waiting. But God can use me in that time. And develop the gift of patience in me while I wait.
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