Church-Hunting, Blog Series

Hey people! Hope life is going great and you are enjoying the summer sunshine! Is anyone going on holiday somewhere exotic? As for me I've had a very busy couple of weeks. Writing and editing is fun, but it can get frustrating sometimes! I can't complain though, it's my job and I don't think I would love to do anything else :)

I did go for the Caine Prize readings (EC Osondu won- yay! See more info here) and I took some pics, but I'm feeling too lazy to upload them right now. I had a good time though, meeting other writers, listening to the readings and networking afterwards.

So we've been back in London for about two weeks, and settling in quite fine. I need to start finding out about transport links in my area, and useful things like the banks, post office, corner shops and so on. Meanwhile, hubby and I are now looking for a church in the area to attend. Some of our friends have been suggesting one church or the other. So last Sunday, we decided to try a branch of Redeemed not too far away. We were a bit wary, as we haven't attended a Nigerian church for five years and we had gotten used to a very different setting, but we decided to try it. Perhaps just the once, so off we went. Then at the end of the service, hubby asked me what I thought. Honestly? Okay I liked the praise worship and the message was good, but I just felt under a lot of pressure. What pressure, you might ask?

I don't know if it was just me, but I felt the pressure to conform, pressure to fit into a certain "type", pressure that people are watching you and they will immediately judge you based on the most superficial things.

For example, I couldn't help but notice the competitive size-ups I got as soon as I entered the church. Seriously, it was like people looked at hubby and I from head to toe, scrutinising our appearance before deciding if we were worth bothering with or not. Now I may be wrong, but that impression I got was too strong.

Then there was the pressure to "dress up". Don't get me wrong, I like looking good, but Nigerian churches take it to extremes when you feel you have to dress a certain way before you are good enough to appear in church. I've heard the argument so many times over that most people give. "When you want to go and see the queen/go to work, you dress well, so you must dress well too when you want to go and see God". Yeah right, I say. Like God is sooooo impressed by whatever I wear to His presence. He is not like us that judge people based on their outward appearance. I also think that kind of implies God only lives in church, and He is not with me 24/7 which is rubbish. God sees me when I'm in my living room, not dressed to impress and He hasn't told me yet that my outfit is not fit in His presence. LOL

Furthermore, there is the pressure to impress/oppress others. When hubby mentioned his job to someone, the first thing they said was, "Is that the car you drive?" Seriously! I found it quite amusing to be honest. Is that what people do - go out and buy cars they can't afford simply to impress people in church? So church is now where we go to show off our latest acquisitions, whether it's cars, clothes, gadgets and what not. Na wah o!

Apart from the pressures I mentioned, there are also some other minor issues of time-keeping, gossiping, looong messages about giving before the offering and so on that I have with the average Nigerian church. So by the time I put all these things in context, I said to hubby that we should either develop really thick skins or continue church-hunting! Any recommendations, good people of blogville?

If you are not already following our blog series, what are you waiting for? Click to read all the posts so far: In My Dreams, It Was Simpler . Yours truly is writing the post for this week (as Lola), so make sure you check it out and leave a comment! We would all really appreciate it.

Here's a little snippet:

I left Maureen’s flat in disgust. Why are the girls looking at me as if I’m just a trouble maker, lying about Dayo to Titi? I told them Dayo was married, I mean, I saw the photos with my own two eyes. Yet Titi is telling everyone that she went to Dayo’s house and didn’t see any evidence of a woman living there.

That's all folks! Hope you have a great weekend ahead!

FG

Reflections

I've been MIA from blogville a bit in the last few weeks. Usual reasons would be because I've been busy. But it would be untrue for me to claim that. In fact I've just had my least productive month ever. It's a long story and I don't even know if everything really makes sense to me at the moment.

Has anyone ever had a "wilderness experience"? Have you ever felt so disappointed and disillusioned with yourself and with God? Have you ever gotten tired of the Christian race? Do you feel sometimes like you are losing your faith and God seems far away? I have been feeling like that for some time. Towards the end of September, I hit a brick wall in some areas of my life. At first I was angry with God for a really annoying weekend that hubby and I had. Then everything went downhill from there. The anger slowly disappeared but was replaced by a feeling of gloom that nothing could shake. It felt like there was a huge dark cloud hanging over my head. Probably because by that time I was so far away from God that I couldn't even function properly.

So of course what happened next? I developed a severe case of writer's block and my brain went into meltdown. I lost the motivation to do most things I usually enjoy, even reading a good book. I felt like I couldn't do anything useful with myself. I couldn't pray and I couldn't write. When I wrote that "Totally Random" post, I was trying to force myself to do something I normally enjoy but it wasn't the same. So I just scrambled the words together and gave up. I began to operate on auto-pilot because it was like something had sucked out all my joy and enthusiasm for life. The funny thing was that all this was an internal battle and I seemed perfectly fine on the outside. Even when I was in church I would sing, clap, smile and do everything else, but inside I felt like a fraud.

About ten days ago, I actually started to get tired and fed up with feeling this way. In church last Sunday, the speaker said that sometimes he too got tired of the Christian race and felt like he had no strength to go on. I totally understood what he meant and I hoped that I would finally regain some hope, faith and strength. During the week I told a good friend of mine how I had been feeling. She really encouraged me with her words:

Our Lord is so loving that He won't let you go. He is faithful and even though it looks like nothing seems to be working out, there is no question He loves us. Keep reminding yourself that. Lord knows we may go through times like this and ...... He never forgets that we are human, we grow tired, weary and frustrated with issues.
Gradually I was able to draw some hope and strength from her and finally I was able to get on my knees again and talk to my heavenly Father. I actually read my bible and devotional again after ignoring them for more than a month. One of the readings even said that when God brings you out of a wilderness experience, it's because He is preparing you for the next level. I really hope so! I'm glad to report that I'm feeling much better now. Actually the fact that I'm able to type this is a good sign. Last week I couldn't have strung words together that made sense.

I'm still not sure what God is trying to teach me through this experience though. Sometimes we may get the full picture and sometimes we may never know why God takes us through some situations. I guess it's a test of faith or endurance and I failed woefully. Hmmm.

One thing I now appreciate more, is the joy and blessing of having a good Christian friend around. And I have to thank you too, Believer.

Sorry if this post makes no sense whatsoever. Have a blessed week :^)

Funeral and Churches

I finally get to blog again, thank God. I have been very busy in the last few weeks; I’ve hardly had the chance to pause for a moment to gather my thoughts and blog about stuff. Hubby was around for a bit, and I was so happy to see him! I had missed him badly. The first thing he said when I went to pick him up at the airport was: “You’ve now got a tan!” which I though was quite amusing. Apparently I have acquired a tan while sitting in the heavy Lagos traffic. I had lots of fun while he was around and it was a bit strange because both of us had never been in Nigeria together until now. He’s gone back now, but I still have things to do so I’m still in Nigeria.

Then my grandma’s funeral was last week. I went to Ibadan where all the events were taking place. I spent the whole week running around getting things done at the last minute. Thank God in the end, everything went well. We all got a bit emotional during the church service and when we were at the cemetery. And it is hard to think that someone who was alive two months ago, is now gone. But life must go on. It makes me stop to think though. What is the real meaning of this life? If you consult the writer of Ecclesiastes, mostly he says that everything is meaningless. That is, without God, everything is meaningless and fleeting. That is something to reflect on.

I'm back in Lagos now and I’m still absorbing some of the funny things I see in Nigeria on a daily basis. Something that has struck me since I’ve been around is the number of churches there are. On almost every street, there is a church, sometimes even two or three! Churches and fellowships have sprung up in the most unlikely places, including old warehouses, a disused sports field, a Sweet Sensation restaurant, several uncompleted buildings, and the house next door. Then, there are also countless billboards, posters and flyers on the roads advertising this or that prayer meeting, healing service, special programme, revival, seminar, etc. I don’t know what to make of it. Is it that Nigerians are now far more religious than before? If that is true, then why does it not reflect in our mentality, character and attitudes? Or perhaps is it that churches are now big money-making businesses, selling prayers and numbing the minds of people with lots of motivational speaking? I’ll throw that question open to the public.

Now I personally have no grudges against churches. After all, I’m a Christian too. But I had it up to the neck two weeks ago and had to go and have a word with the church next door. This church is right next door to the house I’m staying, and they are quite annoying. Or perhaps I should say they are VERY annoying. Every single day of the week, at all hours of the day, they have a meeting or an event. And they make so much noise! They go on and on for hours with their annoyingly loud PA system, disturbing the neighbourhood. Imagine how much noise they make when we have to shout to hear ourselves in our own house. Everybody in the street complains about them, but nobody had ever done anything about it. I had joined in the grumbling for some time, but one day it was the last straw. Early in the morning, around 5.00 am one Friday, they started singing and clapping, abruptly disturbing my sleep and waking up the whole neighbourhood. I was soooo angry because I had a headache and it was as if their noise was right inside my head. I couldn’t sleep another wink so I had to listen to their noise until 9.00am. Finally the person bellowing into the microphone shut up and I was finally able to have some peace. The rest of my day was going well until 8pm when they started preparing to have a night vigil! Everybody in the house started complaining and hissing. After an hour I couldn’t bear the noise any longer. I could not imagine going to sleep with that racket right beside my window so I decided to pop down to the church to ask them if they could turn down their microphone.

You would not believe what happened next. I stepped into the church and a man sprang up from his seat. While I was still trying to explain why I was there, he said that I had committed an abomination by wearing trousers in the house of God! I had gone there with the intention of making a polite request but when I heard that statement, I became livid. What? I told him he should not tell me such rubbish, and anyway I hadn’t come to join their service, I just wanted some peace and quiet next door. The guy then said I should go and drink Phensic and fall asleep. I was like “What?!” The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by people. Some were saying that I had no respect for the house of God. Somebody asked me if I didn’t know their time table as they had a vigil every month. Another person said that I might end up in an early grave if I was not careful. I talked back to all of them. We stood arguing outside the church for almost 30 minutes because I was not going to take such rubbish talk from anybody- usher or not. Eventually one of the elders came out to find out the cause of the disturbance and I told him all what had happened and he agreed to turn the volume of their PA system down. I’m not proud of what I did, but I thought it was about time the church knew that their neighbours are not made of wood. They can’t just be making so much noise because they are the “house of God”. Besides aren't Christians supposed to love their neighbours?

Well I have some errands to run, so I've got to go off in a minute. I just want to say many thanks to those nice people that sent me an email, you know who you are. God bless you!