Thursday, January 28, 2010

Imagine Me

I woke up and this Kirk Franklin song was playing over and over in my mind. It got me thinking about the time in my life when I was very timid, shy and insecure person, struggling with low self esteem. I remember those feelings of "not being good enough", "not being pretty enough" and so on clearly. I have vowed that the one thing I will make sure I do when I have children of my own is to instill healthy self-esteem and self-confidence into them from a young age.

If there is anyone who has never had to deal with low self esteem, there are no words to accurately describe the feelings. It's like a huge cloud hanging over you, darkening everything in your mind. It's like a voice whispering in your head constantly - saying that you are not important, you don't matter, you will never be good enough, you can't do anything good, so why bother? It's the critic in your mind that measures you against everyone else and tells you that you fall far short. It's not believing in yourself or your own talents and abilities. It's like a hopeless despair that you don't deserve anything good, so even when good things happen to you, you are questioning them or thinking they cannot last. It's blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in your life. It's hating yourself and wishing you could be someone else - anyone just as long as it's not you. It's looking up to someone else to define who are and what you can be. It's settling for less because you don't believe you deserve more. It's not knowing your value and worth.

Need I go on? It's awful, awful awful, and I know this because I went through it. And my heart goes out to anyone who is struggling with these issues. A lot of problems we face in our lives and relationships can be traced to these issues. Why do some women stay with abusive partners? Because they don't think they deserve better. Why do some people give up on their dreams? Because they don't believe they have what it takes to succeed.

I can't but be very thankful to God everyday for bringing me out of that twisted way of thinking about myself. Every time I remember, I say "Thank You God because I am not who I used to be some years ago". It wasn't easy but I am sooooo glad that I have gotten over that negative way of thinking about myself - who I am, whose I am and what I am capable of. And I could only have changed my mindset with God's Word and God's help. I have blogged about this in an older post here but I just felt like someone needed to read this today.

God's word says that He is our Father. He knew you before you we were born. You are a unique individual, created in God's image and likeness. He formed you in your mother's womb. He saw you and declared that you are very good. He is with you every single day. His thoughts towards you are thoughts of good, not of evil. He loves you with an unconditional love that nothing can take away. He loves you so much that He sent His son to die for you because - guess what? You are worth it! You are so valuable to God that even the hairs on your head are numbered. He has invested His time, gifts and talents in you, so you don't need to compare yourself with anyone else. He has kept you and preserved your life thus far, and He has great plans for you.

The voice telling you negative things about yourself is the enemy. You can choose not to believe it. Instead fill your mind with the positive words of love and affirmation that God has spoken concerning you. With time, you will start to believe in what God has said about you. Don't let low self-esteem hold you down any longer. Start believing in yourself and your worth!

Be blessed!


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Book Launch, Interview and the Weather

Hey peeps! It's only the second week of the year and already so much is going on. I've been buried under a load of work and stuff, but also snowed in because of the cold snap the UK has been experiencing in the last two weeks. I find the UK media response to the snow quite amusing. It has been frontpage and headline news for days. They have dedicated so much airtime to covering every single tiny detail of "the big freeze". You would think there are other more important issues to talk about. You would expect that they know it is winter and it snows in winter, so they should just get on with it. But for some reason, the British make a big deal out of it, and it's almost as if the whole country grinds to a halt. Schools close, offices close, the trains don't work, airports close, flights are grounded, the postman doesn't go out, people panic-buy food, etc etc.

For me, it has been fun to look out of my window every day and see the snow. I've only been out in it twice, and I didn't enjoy it at all. I don't like the cold. So while I thank God for snow, I also thank God for the safety and comfort of a warm house. Here's a pic I took of my neighbour's garden:

Recently I've been following the news on TV and online about the Haiti earthquake. It's so sad to hear about so many lives lost, people in desperate situations, without food or shelter. If you are able to donate please go to Disaster Emergency Committee or World Vision and give something to help the victims of this natural disaster.

In other news - We are launching our blog series book tomorrow! We've compiled the story into a book, which I assure you is a really great read. It's available both in paperback and as an ebook, so you can choose whichever format works for you. We would really appreciate your support, so pop over HERE to get your copy! The first ten people to buy a copy tomorrow will get a nice discount. I got my proof copy some days ago and I had fun reading and admiring it. I couldn't believe it was actually real:

I've also got an interview (my first!) with Belinda Otas - check it out! I guess I have now completely removed the mask of anonymity. Ms NoLimit said I should not not be shy, so there you go! If you see me on the tube, come and say hi!

Enjoy the weekend ahead! xx

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Week One

Just checking in to say:

Happy New Year!

I'm planning, writing and working on many things at the moment, but all will be revealed soon. Got to get cracking on those goals for the new year. Time doesn't wait - can you believe on week in 2010 is gone already!

Wish everyone a wonderful year 2010! May all your dreams come true.
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