Sunday, October 26, 2008


I've been MIA from blogville a bit in the last few weeks. Usual reasons would be because I've been busy. But it would be untrue for me to claim that. In fact I've just had my least productive month ever. It's a long story and I don't even know if everything really makes sense to me at the moment.

Has anyone ever had a "wilderness experience"? Have you ever felt so disappointed and disillusioned with yourself and with God? Have you ever gotten tired of the Christian race? Do you feel sometimes like you are losing your faith and God seems far away? I have been feeling like that for some time. Towards the end of September, I hit a brick wall in some areas of my life. At first I was angry with God for a really annoying weekend that hubby and I had. Then everything went downhill from there. The anger slowly disappeared but was replaced by a feeling of gloom that nothing could shake. It felt like there was a huge dark cloud hanging over my head. Probably because by that time I was so far away from God that I couldn't even function properly.

So of course what happened next? I developed a severe case of writer's block and my brain went into meltdown. I lost the motivation to do most things I usually enjoy, even reading a good book. I felt like I couldn't do anything useful with myself. I couldn't pray and I couldn't write. When I wrote that "Totally Random" post, I was trying to force myself to do something I normally enjoy but it wasn't the same. So I just scrambled the words together and gave up. I began to operate on auto-pilot because it was like something had sucked out all my joy and enthusiasm for life. The funny thing was that all this was an internal battle and I seemed perfectly fine on the outside. Even when I was in church I would sing, clap, smile and do everything else, but inside I felt like a fraud.

About ten days ago, I actually started to get tired and fed up with feeling this way. In church last Sunday, the speaker said that sometimes he too got tired of the Christian race and felt like he had no strength to go on. I totally understood what he meant and I hoped that I would finally regain some hope, faith and strength. During the week I told a good friend of mine how I had been feeling. She really encouraged me with her words:

Our Lord is so loving that He won't let you go. He is faithful and even though it looks like nothing seems to be working out, there is no question He loves us. Keep reminding yourself that. Lord knows we may go through times like this and ...... He never forgets that we are human, we grow tired, weary and frustrated with issues.
Gradually I was able to draw some hope and strength from her and finally I was able to get on my knees again and talk to my heavenly Father. I actually read my bible and devotional again after ignoring them for more than a month. One of the readings even said that when God brings you out of a wilderness experience, it's because He is preparing you for the next level. I really hope so! I'm glad to report that I'm feeling much better now. Actually the fact that I'm able to type this is a good sign. Last week I couldn't have strung words together that made sense.

I'm still not sure what God is trying to teach me through this experience though. Sometimes we may get the full picture and sometimes we may never know why God takes us through some situations. I guess it's a test of faith or endurance and I failed woefully. Hmmm.

One thing I now appreciate more, is the joy and blessing of having a good Christian friend around. And I have to thank you too, Believer.

Sorry if this post makes no sense whatsoever. Have a blessed week :^)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Funny News - Blogger Plant

Hi everyone! I've been MIA from blogville for a while. I'll be back soon to do a proper update. I just want to put up this story that I stumbled on today from the Telegraph news site:

Blogging plant posts daily news on its mood

A potted plant that posts daily news on its mood and health is believed to be the world's first botanical blogger.

Midori-san, which lives on the counter of a Japanese café, writes regular updates with the help of sensors attached to its leaves.

The detectors pick up electronic signals on the surface of the plant, which responds to light and human touch.

The data is then combined with weather and temperature information and translated into chatty blog posts using a computer algorithm.

"Today was a sunny day and I was able to sunbathe a lot... I had quite a bit of fun today," it wrote on October 16 from its cafe in Kamakura, near Tokyo.

A more recent entry was less perky: "It was cloudy today. It was a cold day."

Satoshi Kuribayashi, part of the team at Keio University behind the project, said that the aim was to reveal something of the hidden internal world of plants.

"We were initially interested in what plants are feeling and what they are reacting to where we can't see," he said.

Midori-san is a hoya kerrii, which are more commonly called "sweetheart plants" because of their heart-shaped leaves.

It joins a blogosphere that is thought to have several hundred million members across the world. More blog posts are written in Japanese than either Chinese or English, according to a 2007 study.

Interesting stuff! lol If you can read Japanese, check out the blog here:

Have a great evening!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Totally Random

This is dedicated to the one I love.

Thank you Mr Leo Sayer.

It's midnight. I'm sitting down on my bed. Utterly bored, yet restless. I have lots of things to say but I'm feeling too lazy to write. I'm too awake to go to bed thanks to several cups of tea. I'm tired of the conversation I'm having with a friend on yahoo messenger. I decide to blog but I've been staring at the screen in frustration for twenty seven minutes. I give up and try listening to music instead. This song by Leo Sayer come on. "Dedicated to the one I love". Hmmmm.

The one I love is sleeping beside me. I'm reminded of one of our dates in February 2003. Valentine's day. We had been quarrelling three days before. I've forgotten what the argument was about. It doesn't matter anymore, maybe it never did. I still love him though.

Another song comes up: "Clubbin" by Marques Houston. This song reminds me of my days as a student. Days of hanging out with my friends. It reminds me of going clubbing on the night after exams. And those wonderful summer barbecues, that turn to house parties that go on till 2.00 in the morning.

"Unfaithful" by Rihanna comes up. Even though it's a fairly recent song, it makes me think of my teenage years. It reminds me of complicated love triangles.

Another song come up....

Gosh I'm soooo bored! And I'm in need of inspiration. Can anyone help?

This is the most random post ever! I wonder if it even makes sense? I don't know jo, I'll post it like that. I blame writer's block.
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