I faintly remember that day, many years ago when I was just a tot myself. Someone came to my house to tell me that my mum had just had a baby. And she was my little sister. I was excited and I said I wanted to see her. They took me to the hospital and I looked into the cot to see the tiny baby. She looked like a doll to me. I asked if I could carry her. The nurse told me to sit down and stretch out my arms. They placed her carefully in my arms and I looked into her small, trusting face. She looked back at me. From then on, the bond of sisterly love was formed.
I've watched her grow up. We've had our disagreements. I've been so protective of her. Afterall, I'm her big sister! I might have bullied her a bit when we were little. But we've got lots in common. We even share the same month. People say we look alike. And she'll always have a special spot in my heart. And boy does she know it. And does she take full advantage! I know she loves me right back though. She has no choice.
It's her birthday today. Gosh she's becoming such a woman already. Little sis aint so little anymore. I called her a few minutes ago to say happy birthday. I don't know how she did it, but she managed to get me to promise her a new outfit. Men, the things we do for our little sisters....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Nigerian Proclamation
IN RECENT HISTORY, NIGERIANS HAVE BEEN OVERWHELMINGLY BETRAYED BY THOSE CHARGED WITH ADDRESSING THEIR NEEDS. INSTEAD OF SERVING THE PEOPLE, PUBLIC SERVANTS HAVE SERVED THEMSELVES TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE MASSES. THE RESULT IS A NATION LACKING ADEQUATE INFRASTRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION AND SECURITY.
THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS. NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM.
THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.
FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY.
CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:
1. WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.
2. WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.
3. WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
4. WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.
5. WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
This has been put up as part of Solomonsydelle's movement to show that Nigerian and other interested bloggers are unified in our disappointment with recent and ongoing political events. By using the same document with the same title on May 29th, we hope to attract some attention by making The Nigerian Proclamation 'rise' to attention on Google and various other search engines when anyone uses 'Nigeria' as a search term. Let the world know that Nigeria's people too are far from impressed.
THE INEFFECTIVENESS OF NIGERIAN LEADERS INDICATES A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY TO THE CONSTITUENTS. NIGERIANS ARE NO LONGER RELEVANT TO THE LEADERS, THUS, LEADERS DO NOT FEEL RESPONSIBLE TO THEM.
THE RECENT FAILURE TO CONDUCT A FREE AND FAIR ELECTORAL PROCESS WAS YET ANOTHER ILLUSTRATION THAT THE NEEDS OF THE MANY ARE SECONDARY TO THE WANTS OF THE IMPORTANT FEW.
FROM THIS DAY, ALL NIGERIANS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUTURE OF THIS GREAT & POWERFUL COUNTRY.
CONSEQUENTLY, ALL NIGERIANS MUST COMMIT THEMSELVES TO THE FOLLOWING:
1. WE MUST DEMAND THAT ELECTED OFFICIALS BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS AND IN-ACTIONS.
2. WE MUST EXPECT DEMOCRATIC PRINCIPLES TO BE HONORED, RESPECTED AND MAINTAINED.
3. WE MUST BELIEVE THAT ALL NIGERIANS ARE EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
4. WE MUST APPLY OURSELVES TO IMPROVING THE LOT OF EVERY INDIVIDUAL NIGERIAN REGARDLESS OF GENDER, RELIGION, TRIBE OR SOCIAL STATUS.
5. WE MUST STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A UNITED REPUBLIC DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES.ONLY UPON ACHIEVING THESE PRINCIPLES CAN WE AS A PEOPLE FULLY LIVE UP TO OUR POTENTIAL AS A LAND OF GREATNESS. FOR OURS IS A COUNTRY RENOWNED FOR ITS ILLUSTRIOUS PEOPLE, AMPLE RESOURCES AND SHEER PHYSICAL BEAUTY.
This has been put up as part of Solomonsydelle's movement to show that Nigerian and other interested bloggers are unified in our disappointment with recent and ongoing political events. By using the same document with the same title on May 29th, we hope to attract some attention by making The Nigerian Proclamation 'rise' to attention on Google and various other search engines when anyone uses 'Nigeria' as a search term. Let the world know that Nigeria's people too are far from impressed.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Now Saner
Okay I wrote that previous post in a moment of intense frustration. Although I am dealing with different emotions right now.
I had been having a good weekend. On Friday I took the day off from work. I had to go and see the doctor to check all was well. He said a few things - nothing too alarming- and said I should come back next week for a blood test and a scan. So that went well. After that I went for a spot of retail therapy, there's nothing like a pair of shoes to make you feel better! Met up with hubby when he finished from work. We went to see Spiderman 3 in the evening. It was alright, not bad at all though not as cool as Spiderman 2.
Yesterday, we woke up early as hubby was travelling to Lagos in the evening. He was looking forward to this trip because he hasn't been back to Nigeria for more than 10 years! When he told me he wanted to go, I was pleased. In fact I was alright throughout the day, even seeing him off to the airport happily. Only when it was 5 minutes before he had to leave that I started feeling sad and I almost cried. He's only going for 5 days but I'm going to miss him so much. But as I left hubby at the airport, my dad called me to say he was around for a week. I told him I'll call him later. Got home and didn't go to bed until 3.00am. My bed was half empty :(
I was woken up this morning with a call from hubby to say he had arrived safely and already having fun. I wanted to tell him I was missing him but decided not to. Didn't want to spoil his mood. Later called my dad and we spoke for over an hour, just talking about different things. I told him I was fed up with my career as an accountant and I wasn't cut out to work in an office for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, he seemed fine with it! He even said I should start writing my book right away, that he wants to read the first two chapters before he leaves next week! He said he would be happy to help me if I needed anything. Thanks for your support dad - that means so much to me.
I just spoke to one of my best friends now. He has been having a rough time lately with his relationship. Now he told me that he and the girl had broken up during the week. I had known they were having problems, but I never really thought they would break up after all this time. I feel so bad now, even though it's not my fault. I just feel bad for them.
The weather is rather grey and gloomy, matching my mood. I'm going to find something to do to cheer myself up. Maybe I'll listen to my old Destiny's Child tunes, they always used to cheer me up before!
I had been having a good weekend. On Friday I took the day off from work. I had to go and see the doctor to check all was well. He said a few things - nothing too alarming- and said I should come back next week for a blood test and a scan. So that went well. After that I went for a spot of retail therapy, there's nothing like a pair of shoes to make you feel better! Met up with hubby when he finished from work. We went to see Spiderman 3 in the evening. It was alright, not bad at all though not as cool as Spiderman 2.
Yesterday, we woke up early as hubby was travelling to Lagos in the evening. He was looking forward to this trip because he hasn't been back to Nigeria for more than 10 years! When he told me he wanted to go, I was pleased. In fact I was alright throughout the day, even seeing him off to the airport happily. Only when it was 5 minutes before he had to leave that I started feeling sad and I almost cried. He's only going for 5 days but I'm going to miss him so much. But as I left hubby at the airport, my dad called me to say he was around for a week. I told him I'll call him later. Got home and didn't go to bed until 3.00am. My bed was half empty :(
I was woken up this morning with a call from hubby to say he had arrived safely and already having fun. I wanted to tell him I was missing him but decided not to. Didn't want to spoil his mood. Later called my dad and we spoke for over an hour, just talking about different things. I told him I was fed up with my career as an accountant and I wasn't cut out to work in an office for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, he seemed fine with it! He even said I should start writing my book right away, that he wants to read the first two chapters before he leaves next week! He said he would be happy to help me if I needed anything. Thanks for your support dad - that means so much to me.
I just spoke to one of my best friends now. He has been having a rough time lately with his relationship. Now he told me that he and the girl had broken up during the week. I had known they were having problems, but I never really thought they would break up after all this time. I feel so bad now, even though it's not my fault. I just feel bad for them.
The weather is rather grey and gloomy, matching my mood. I'm going to find something to do to cheer myself up. Maybe I'll listen to my old Destiny's Child tunes, they always used to cheer me up before!
Today's Rant
Today I'm dealing with a cocktail of different emotions. I am very happy. But I'm also upset because I feel I still have limitations on my life. Who can feel happy when you are placed under restrictions? Why is there no way out? I need to let go of the ridiculous weight of expectations around me. Why should I be labelled? I am a unique person, why should I fit into another person's mould? When will I be free to express myself as I am designed to? Why do I have to succumb to cultural demands? Why should I act as "normal" as everyone around me? Who defines what is normal anyway? Who is really in control of my life and my circumstances? Who sees into the innermost corridors of my heart? Who should be predicting what I should do next? Who should understand my deepest desires? What about what I want? When will I really really be FREE...
I'll be right back.
I'll be right back.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
On Career Changes
For the past month, I've been having a debate with myself over my career path. As I wrote in this post ages ago here, I have been questioning my choice to become an accountant. I knew I was seriously becoming bored everyday at work - not with the company, but with the job itself. I have lost all motivation to continue studying for the professional accounting exams. I knew I didn't relish the thought of working as an accountant for the rest of my life. I knew I just drifted into the profession because it was such a "safe" bet, afterall there would always be jobs for accountants with the relevant qualifications and experience. But now I have to face it: I am definitely in the wrong job. Everyday I wake up and I feel like I am wasting my time. Why am I going to work in an office doing a job I don't like when I could be finding fulfilment doing something else? Added to this, is the fact that I detest the restrictive structure of the average workplace: You must be in by 9, you have an hour for lunch, and you are out by 5pm if you are lucky. That's eight hours dedicated to the company everyday. Plus 2 hours of commuting and before you know it, you've spent 50 hours of your week either working, getting to work or coming back from work. That's 200 hours a month! And to get no fulfilment out of such an important chunk of my life is essentially depressing.
Something else that I thought about was that I knew I had learnt the skills to become an accountant in school, but there was a part of me that was inactive - my creative talents. I haven't been using them and there lies the danger: I am not realising my potential in my current career. I have the ability to do much more, but I am wasting time in the wrong profession. And the longer I stay in my job the harder it will be to eventually leave.
Last month, hubby asked me if I would consider giving up my full-time job and do something else from home. I initially thought it was a crazy idea. Why would I leave my job and my social life in the city? What would I be doing at home? I don't have any kids to look after yet, so I would get bored quickly. And I absolutely hate being bored. I had experienced the "sitting-at-home-doing-nothing" period when I had just graduated and was job-hunting. And I didn't want to experience that again.
But when I thought about it, I realised that the only thing stopping me was fear! Fear of quiting my job, fear of losing some income, fear of failure in a new career, fear of the unknown basically. If realised that if I left my restrictive 9 - 5 job, I would actually have time to do the things that I really want to do! Like learning that language, writing that book and getting the publishing deal, going for that course and learning a new skill, travelling to that place I want to discover, etc. I realised that I didn't have to stay at home and do nothing, I could still be very productive in a career outside of the rat-race. So now what do I do? Take the plunge.
I'll admit I'm really scared because I've never done something like this before. It's taking a lot of my thought right now. I'm going to have to quit my job. I'm going to have to start from scratch. I've been praying about it because it is not a decision to take lightly. I also need hubby's support and he's agreed to support me 100% and I'm so grateful! While I'm finding my feet, it's going to be confusing for a while. So it's alright to be scared and worried, I think. But I can't continue to deny myself the opprtunity. At least they say "it's better to try and fail than not to try at all". And now's the time to do it before I have kids and continue procrastinating and then it becomes too late. So here goes..... I'll be keeping you updated.
Something else that I thought about was that I knew I had learnt the skills to become an accountant in school, but there was a part of me that was inactive - my creative talents. I haven't been using them and there lies the danger: I am not realising my potential in my current career. I have the ability to do much more, but I am wasting time in the wrong profession. And the longer I stay in my job the harder it will be to eventually leave.
Last month, hubby asked me if I would consider giving up my full-time job and do something else from home. I initially thought it was a crazy idea. Why would I leave my job and my social life in the city? What would I be doing at home? I don't have any kids to look after yet, so I would get bored quickly. And I absolutely hate being bored. I had experienced the "sitting-at-home-doing-nothing" period when I had just graduated and was job-hunting. And I didn't want to experience that again.
But when I thought about it, I realised that the only thing stopping me was fear! Fear of quiting my job, fear of losing some income, fear of failure in a new career, fear of the unknown basically. If realised that if I left my restrictive 9 - 5 job, I would actually have time to do the things that I really want to do! Like learning that language, writing that book and getting the publishing deal, going for that course and learning a new skill, travelling to that place I want to discover, etc. I realised that I didn't have to stay at home and do nothing, I could still be very productive in a career outside of the rat-race. So now what do I do? Take the plunge.
I'll admit I'm really scared because I've never done something like this before. It's taking a lot of my thought right now. I'm going to have to quit my job. I'm going to have to start from scratch. I've been praying about it because it is not a decision to take lightly. I also need hubby's support and he's agreed to support me 100% and I'm so grateful! While I'm finding my feet, it's going to be confusing for a while. So it's alright to be scared and worried, I think. But I can't continue to deny myself the opprtunity. At least they say "it's better to try and fail than not to try at all". And now's the time to do it before I have kids and continue procrastinating and then it becomes too late. So here goes..... I'll be keeping you updated.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Random Stuff
Been meaning to update my blog everytime I came online this past week. Have so much to say, but can't seem to find the enthusiasm to type. Someone sent me an "update already!" email, so I dragged myself here today.
I have been a bit down in the last four days. Not ill or anything but I'm feeling really tired and lethargic. It's like I have no energy at all. I wonder why. I haven't changed my normal routine or my diet. So I see no reason why I would suddenly start feeling like a very old woman. Lord help me o. I didn't go to work on Tuesday, managed to struggle on Wednesday and Thursday, but couldn't find the strength this morning. My mum said that it's my body's way of telling me that I need to rest. Oh well! The only problem now is that it's my aunty's 50th birthday party this weekend -big do on Saturday and a thanksgiving pary on Sunday. I have promised to go and help with preparations and everything. How am I going to do that now with zero energy?
Last weekend I attended an English wedding. Hubby and I were the only black people there. It was sooo different from the typical Nigerian wedding. For starters, there were only 80 guests! Imagine that at your typical naija wedding, 80 does not even cover the whole of the bride's family, lol. The couple had gotten married in Maurituis with a handful of close friends and family last month, and they were now throwing the reception. It was cool though, small and classy. They had a marquee in the garden of a nice country house next to a lake so it was a really cosy and romantic setting. There were 8 tables and 10 guests per table. It was a bit formal but the upside of that is that it was very well organised. Everything went in a particular order: Drinks reception in the garden, entrance, 3-course meal, speeches, toast, cutting the cake, first dance. Later on they had a DJ and a barbeque for the evening reception. It was well cool! And the menu was not jollof rice either, lol. Thank God I'm not a bush girl sha, although there were some things I ate that I can't pronounce! It made me wonder what they thought when they attended our wedding and had to eat Nigerian food. Lol.
Now I don't know if this is funny or not. I came accross this on Facebook. It's a group called "...So Apparently I'm Going To Hell" based on what some random guy said:
If anyone's had the chance to catch a Mr. Micah Armstrong (originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami but left because they were hypocrites) on Monday, then you have probably drawn one conclusion...apparently you're going to hell. Reasons include:
Pot Smoking, Cigarette Smoking, Alcohol Drinking, Guitar Playing, Having a Tattoo, Showing Cleavage, Showing Bellybuttons, Girls Showing Their Knees, Girls Showing Their Elbows, Girls Wearing Tight Pants, Girls Wearing Miniskirts, Being Blonde, Being Fat, Cursing, Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage, Holding Hands before Marriage, Having Premarital Sex, Masturbation, Having Anal Sex, Having Oral Sex, Being Homosexual , Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest), Being Selfish, Playing Sports, Women Working, Watching BET, Watching MTV, Watching VH1, Watching TNT, Associating With Hollywood, Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll, Believing in Evolution, Being Catholic, Being Jewish, Being Buddhist, Being Methodist, Being Protestant, Being Mormon, Being Muslim, Being Hindu, Being Agnostic, Being Atheist, Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin), Being In a Sorority or Fraternity, Owning a Pet, Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
Okay o. I wonder who came up with this list. It sounds like a man that is clearly so narrow-minded that he can't see beyond his own nose. Being fat,blond and female qualifies as a reason to go to hell? Anyway sha, thank God that it's by His grace and nothing else that we are saved.
Due to the interest in the cake/bag in my previous post, here is the address of the website where you can order your very own! Apparently she can make a cake of anything you want. I'm thinking of getting a guitar made for hubby's birthday. http://www.maisiefantaisie.co.uk/
I'm hoping to recover from this bout of tiredness. I want to have a good time this weekend. Imagine hubby has even booked us a hotel to stay in for the weekend, so I mustn't flop. He he he. Have a good weekend folks!
I have been a bit down in the last four days. Not ill or anything but I'm feeling really tired and lethargic. It's like I have no energy at all. I wonder why. I haven't changed my normal routine or my diet. So I see no reason why I would suddenly start feeling like a very old woman. Lord help me o. I didn't go to work on Tuesday, managed to struggle on Wednesday and Thursday, but couldn't find the strength this morning. My mum said that it's my body's way of telling me that I need to rest. Oh well! The only problem now is that it's my aunty's 50th birthday party this weekend -big do on Saturday and a thanksgiving pary on Sunday. I have promised to go and help with preparations and everything. How am I going to do that now with zero energy?
Last weekend I attended an English wedding. Hubby and I were the only black people there. It was sooo different from the typical Nigerian wedding. For starters, there were only 80 guests! Imagine that at your typical naija wedding, 80 does not even cover the whole of the bride's family, lol. The couple had gotten married in Maurituis with a handful of close friends and family last month, and they were now throwing the reception. It was cool though, small and classy. They had a marquee in the garden of a nice country house next to a lake so it was a really cosy and romantic setting. There were 8 tables and 10 guests per table. It was a bit formal but the upside of that is that it was very well organised. Everything went in a particular order: Drinks reception in the garden, entrance, 3-course meal, speeches, toast, cutting the cake, first dance. Later on they had a DJ and a barbeque for the evening reception. It was well cool! And the menu was not jollof rice either, lol. Thank God I'm not a bush girl sha, although there were some things I ate that I can't pronounce! It made me wonder what they thought when they attended our wedding and had to eat Nigerian food. Lol.
Now I don't know if this is funny or not. I came accross this on Facebook. It's a group called "...So Apparently I'm Going To Hell" based on what some random guy said:
If anyone's had the chance to catch a Mr. Micah Armstrong (originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami but left because they were hypocrites) on Monday, then you have probably drawn one conclusion...apparently you're going to hell. Reasons include:
Pot Smoking, Cigarette Smoking, Alcohol Drinking, Guitar Playing, Having a Tattoo, Showing Cleavage, Showing Bellybuttons, Girls Showing Their Knees, Girls Showing Their Elbows, Girls Wearing Tight Pants, Girls Wearing Miniskirts, Being Blonde, Being Fat, Cursing, Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage, Holding Hands before Marriage, Having Premarital Sex, Masturbation, Having Anal Sex, Having Oral Sex, Being Homosexual , Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest), Being Selfish, Playing Sports, Women Working, Watching BET, Watching MTV, Watching VH1, Watching TNT, Associating With Hollywood, Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll, Believing in Evolution, Being Catholic, Being Jewish, Being Buddhist, Being Methodist, Being Protestant, Being Mormon, Being Muslim, Being Hindu, Being Agnostic, Being Atheist, Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin), Being In a Sorority or Fraternity, Owning a Pet, Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
Okay o. I wonder who came up with this list. It sounds like a man that is clearly so narrow-minded that he can't see beyond his own nose. Being fat,blond and female qualifies as a reason to go to hell? Anyway sha, thank God that it's by His grace and nothing else that we are saved.
Due to the interest in the cake/bag in my previous post, here is the address of the website where you can order your very own! Apparently she can make a cake of anything you want. I'm thinking of getting a guitar made for hubby's birthday. http://www.maisiefantaisie.co.uk/
I'm hoping to recover from this bout of tiredness. I want to have a good time this weekend. Imagine hubby has even booked us a hotel to stay in for the weekend, so I mustn't flop. He he he. Have a good weekend folks!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Happy Birthday to me!
Thanks everyone! I've had a lovely day so far, and it isn't over yet! Many thanks to everyone who posted a card, bought me a gift, called me, sent me a text, wrote on my facebook wall, emailed me, and left comments on my blog. You all made my day a very happy one! God bless you!
When I woke up today, I had so many things to thank God for. He has been really really good to me. I'm so so blessed. I have my life, my health, a peaceful home, my family, a job, my sanity... so so much! Even if I ask for nothing more, I know God has been good to me. My sister called me at midnight, my mum and dad called me first thing in the morning to wish me a happy birthday. I had to go to work today (boring!) but I still had a nice time. I bought treats for my department. Everyone was nice to me today and my work colleagues bought me two birthday presents too. I left the office early. It was too nice a day to spend cooped up indoors in front of a computer. LOL.
Got home and met up with hubby. He had bought me flowers and lots of other goodies. He did say that my main birthday present was still on its way. I wonder what it could be? Anyways we chilled out for a while at home, then popped out for dinner. I ate too much and now I'm too full. But it's all good. I've decided I'll be good with my meals for the rest of the week.
Also got some good news today. Hubby's sister gave birth to a baby this evening. Isn't that just cool! I've got a brand new nephew born on my birthday! I'm excited, I don't know many people I share my birthday with. I'll call my sister-in-law to congratulate her tomorrow.
Thanks again for all the prayers and good wishes guys! Really appreciate it. I'm off to enjoy the last few minutes of my birthday with some private celebrations....
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Counting Down....
In exactly 2 hours, 35 minutes and 26 seconds, it will be my birthday! To all the beautiful and intelligent people born in May, you rock!
I plan to leave the office early, after plumping for Krispy Kremes for my team. Hubby has promised me a nice birthday present so I'll keep an eye out for that. I'll be going out with my friends on Bank Holiday Monday so I'll have a quiet one, I think. I'm still excited though. I always look forward to my birthdays.
A slice of cake goes to the first person that wishes me a Happy Birthday!
I plan to leave the office early, after plumping for Krispy Kremes for my team. Hubby has promised me a nice birthday present so I'll keep an eye out for that. I'll be going out with my friends on Bank Holiday Monday so I'll have a quiet one, I think. I'm still excited though. I always look forward to my birthdays.
A slice of cake goes to the first person that wishes me a Happy Birthday!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
More On Marriage
Recently there has been a lot of talk going on around blogville about marriages and infidelity. I've just read Vickii's post, then I read Uzo's post, then I read T-Minx's post. I've also read a lot of the comments from both sides of the debate as it were. Is marriage still relevant in our society? Is there any need for the vows "till death do us part"?
We mustn't forget that we are human though. So we sometimes forget to keep our promises. Who among us has never broken a promise? When you get married, you spend 5 minutes saying your vows and you have to spend the rest of your life carrying out those promises. How well that marriage goes depends on how faithful the husband and the wife are to the promises they have made.
Ladies imagine your long-term boyfriend comes to you with a large diamond ring and these words:
On the subject of cheating, truth is, infidelity does happen a lot in marriages. I avoid making general statements like "All men are cheaters" or "There are no good men around". Those statements are biased because those are the only examples the speaker has seen. Women do cheat too, perhaps not in the physical betrayal of sleeping with someone else, but in their minds. Anyway the point I am making is, most people look at infidelity from the woman's point of view. Should she take him back after he has cheated on her?
Speaking for myslef, I honestly can't answer that question. I wouldn't know until I've been in that situation. Besides every relationship is different so what might work for one woman, will not work for another.
Well I'm a firm believer in the institution of marriage. I think it is the best relationship two people can have, if it is approached in the right way. I believe that marriage was instituted by God and He meant for us to enjoy it. The problems society has with marriage (and why marriages are under threat) is because we have taken God out of the picture, and so His ideas don't seem relevant anymore.
I don't believe that there is such a thing as a perfect marriage. None of us is perfect, so no relationship can ever be perfect if it is made up of two imperfect people. I do believe however, that if we recognise the purpose of marriage, then we would see that it is more than just a love contract or a ceremony in church. It is a covenant where we solemnly swear to "honour, love, respect and cherish" our spouse before God and man.
We mustn't forget that we are human though. So we sometimes forget to keep our promises. Who among us has never broken a promise? When you get married, you spend 5 minutes saying your vows and you have to spend the rest of your life carrying out those promises. How well that marriage goes depends on how faithful the husband and the wife are to the promises they have made.
Ladies imagine your long-term boyfriend comes to you with a large diamond ring and these words:
My darling, you have been the best thing that happened to me. I want to take our wonderful relationship to the next level. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you everyday. I want to have children with you, grow old with you. I promise I will always make you happy, I will be true to you and be faithful to you. If you give me this chance, I will spend the rest of my life making you happy. Will you marry me?"
Of course, the lady will say yes!
Now consider if the guy had said:
My darling, you have been the best thing in my life since I met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you everyday. I want to have children with you, grow old with you.But I can't promise to be faithful to you. I don't know if I will be able to make you happy everyday. You can't expect me to do everything to make you happy. I will expect you to meet my needs all the time but I can't promise to meet your needs. I might cheat on you if the opportunity arises. Will you marry me?"
My darling, you have been the best thing in my life since I met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up with you everyday. I want to have children with you, grow old with you.But I can't promise to be faithful to you. I don't know if I will be able to make you happy everyday. You can't expect me to do everything to make you happy. I will expect you to meet my needs all the time but I can't promise to meet your needs. I might cheat on you if the opportunity arises. Will you marry me?"
What do you think the girl would do? She will tell him to take a hike!
As Uzo said, there are no guarantees that getting married will make the relationship any more successful than if the parties involved just lived together. I agree whole-heartedly. What underpins any lasting relationship is commitment. If that commitment is lacking, then a marriage certificate is worthless. So should we give up on marriage then? Is marriage then irrelevant? No, no, no. Life itself is a risk. We all take chances with our decisions. I definitely believe that marriage is the ideal committed relationship for all parties involved: the man, the woman and the children produced in that union.
On the subject of cheating, truth is, infidelity does happen a lot in marriages. I avoid making general statements like "All men are cheaters" or "There are no good men around". Those statements are biased because those are the only examples the speaker has seen. Women do cheat too, perhaps not in the physical betrayal of sleeping with someone else, but in their minds. Anyway the point I am making is, most people look at infidelity from the woman's point of view. Should she take him back after he has cheated on her?
Speaking for myslef, I honestly can't answer that question. I wouldn't know until I've been in that situation. Besides every relationship is different so what might work for one woman, will not work for another.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Cupid Update
It seems like everyone likes a good love story! Sorry I haven't updated since. I didn't call my friend until last night. I wanted to give the two of them some time. Here's how that evening went:
I had decided to have the picnic with my friend so I left my place and headed down to hers. We were feeling too lazy to cook or prepare any picnic food, so we just bought some KFC wings, grabbed a beach cloth, a couple of drinks, cameras and our sunglasses, and headed to the park. Since the weather was so nice, the park was full of people but it was still cool. We stayed there gisting till about 7.00pm. As we were leaving the park, hubby and his guys called to find out what the plans were. I told him that they should meet us at a bar around 10.00pm. We got back to her place, she got changed and we went to pick up one of her other friends and drove down to the bar. Soon after hubby and his friend came in. While they were at the bar, my girl was checking the man out. Eventually the guys joined our table and they got talking. The conversation seemed to be flowing well. After about 15 minutes, hubby and I excused ourselves and melted out of sight. But by the time we were leaving the bar, we saw them swapping numbers!
I called her yesterday to find out what's been happening. She said they had been calling and texting each other and they've tried to arrange a date to meet up. So things are looking good. We'll be keeping our fingers and toes crossed!
I had decided to have the picnic with my friend so I left my place and headed down to hers. We were feeling too lazy to cook or prepare any picnic food, so we just bought some KFC wings, grabbed a beach cloth, a couple of drinks, cameras and our sunglasses, and headed to the park. Since the weather was so nice, the park was full of people but it was still cool. We stayed there gisting till about 7.00pm. As we were leaving the park, hubby and his guys called to find out what the plans were. I told him that they should meet us at a bar around 10.00pm. We got back to her place, she got changed and we went to pick up one of her other friends and drove down to the bar. Soon after hubby and his friend came in. While they were at the bar, my girl was checking the man out. Eventually the guys joined our table and they got talking. The conversation seemed to be flowing well. After about 15 minutes, hubby and I excused ourselves and melted out of sight. But by the time we were leaving the bar, we saw them swapping numbers!
I called her yesterday to find out what's been happening. She said they had been calling and texting each other and they've tried to arrange a date to meet up. So things are looking good. We'll be keeping our fingers and toes crossed!
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